Saturday, 13 October 2012

The Saturday Solution with Dr. Basil Widdairs - Trouble Down Under!


 Welcome to the 'Saturday Solution'
with
Dr. Basil Widdairs

Pet Advice Columnist Extraordinaire!

Ph.D. in Kitteh Psychology  
BSc (Hons) Headology  
Psy.D. Furry Logic
 MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense


 


My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment 
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T

Dr Basil ~ helping mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Purroblems and Desperate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

I use only the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kittehs 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked 

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitteh sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help you release all your stresses and worries just drop by my new clinic held here every Saturday or, alternatively email me your purroblem and I'll answer here, if mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 


Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, relax, breath deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help...


Here is another of my latest cases:

(Via email)
'Trouble Down Under!'

Good day Dr. Basil

Now we Aussie cats don’t take no flak from no one, not now not ever.  However and this is a big HOWEVER, me and me furrmates have run into a bit of bother with a new rival. Our hooman, Shane has gone and got himself a Sheila, she’s called Sheila too!  And she’s not fond of our sort, as mew can imagine we are even less impurressed with her. I mean come on, what’s not to like?  We are a gang of five furrsome, fan’cat’stic, furry felines, we are totally pawesome dudes, we hang out all night have a few spats and tumbles, rock in at dawn and want feeding. 

Now this is where Sheila is starting to infringe on our turf, she’s even in the bed when we come in.  There’s no room fur us anymore, and Shane says nothing, he’s like a love sick puppy and instead of leaping out of bed to feed us, he just rolls over and snores! SNORES if mew purrlease, can mew believe it?  (I couldn’t either!)

Before Sheila came on the scene he waited on us no matter what the time of day or night, now we just get left some crunchies in a bowl and get told to help ourselves.  The Bonza Gang don’t do Self Service, what do mew suggest to get our line of service open again?

Bonza Bruce and the Bonza Bad Boy Crew (Sniffles the Snorter, Lemon the Likeable, Kyle the Cunning, Rolf the Relaxed & Ted the Tormenter )

(Furrborough, NSW)

This is my Expert Reply
Today I use the colour PURPLE, as it stimulates higher thought processors  in the brain and this colour is also associated with problem solving and higher reasoning. Therefore being the purrfect choice fur this purroblem.


Dear Bonza Bruce and the Bonza Bad Boy Crew

Thank mew furry much fur contacting me about the distress in your domicile.  Hmmmm…. I see we have a hooman impeding and infringing on the crews time.   This is not an uncommon purroblem.  Single hooman gets new hooman companion, new hooman calls the shots and your previously doting hooman suddenly becomes alien to mew in the ways that he/she acts.  This can be furry distressing especially if the new hooman is not particularly feline furriendly. 

I think mew need to address the root cause of your hooman getting a non-feline fan as a companion.  Perhaps Shane was feeling all felined out and needed a distraction, by getting a non-feline fancier, he is opening his horizons to new things such as, getting a cold one from the fridge and maybe even, throwing another shrimp on the BBQ  (I know all about famous OZ traditions like these because  P.A.#2  hails from that very place) This could be good in the long term; however this doesn't solve your immediate woes, such as your sleeping arrangement and your feeding schedule, which I know is most important to ones well-being and daily sanity.

So we have established, that Shane got Sheila because there was a ‘lack’ in his life and now that Sheila is there, mew are feeling ‘lack’ in your lives.  Shanes lack has been filled while your lack has been sprung on mew by him.  It’s a classic rebound effect, his lack is filled and gone, while yours is suddenly a great big gaping chasm.

So my advice to mew is this, mew and the crew need to completely change your routine.

1.       When Shane is at home alone, make sure mew are with him at all times.  No getting in his face though, shadow him in stealth or take turns between the five of mew, get a rota happening. But don’t put the rota on the fridge otherwise the hoomans will know something’s up.

2.       Only go out fur brief periods and come back and check on him, sit with him and be supportive.

3.       Stop going out all night painting the town red and rebel rousing.  When they go to bed, mew all go to bed.  Make sure mew and the crew get down the centre of the bed.  Mew must become a feline wall of impenetrable force.  If Sheila complains or tries to move mew, hold fast, don’t break the line.  This is vital.

4.       Stay there all night, no matter what.  If one of mew does gets moved, another needs to fill the gap instantly, mew need to be fully co-ordinated. 

5.       Make sure Sheila wakes up with one of mew on the pillow with her.

6.       Make sure Shane wakes up with one of mew on the pillow with him.

(Paws on face and/or head is purrfectly acceptable in points 5. & 6. However do not engage in any hair biting or pulling, as this will severely weaken your new strategy)

7.       If they wake whilst mew are in the middle of any covert operations do this immediately: As soon as they start to stir make sure mew all start to purr in purrfect synchronicity, just a low soothing hum, the one that reverberates through all living things on a frequency undetected by normal hooman senses.  This is incredibly soothing sound should have them back in Snoresville before mew can say, Feed Me!

8.       When they do wake in the morning, ideally make sure that you’re full of beans and meowing, really get that pitch up and let them know you’re all there. Hopefully after a few days of this treatment Sheila will start to warm up to mew guys.  To win with Shane win over Sheila.  Be supurr nice to her.  This will have two effects:

a.)    She’ll fall in love with mew all and become hooman assistant #2
b.)    She’ll flee for the hills

So either way it will be a win win for mew guys. If she stays, mew will have two peeps to dote on mew and if she leaves, mew will have Shane all to yourselves again.  I love it when a plan comes together! Your Zen Harmonies have been restored ~ PURRFECTLY PAWESOME!

Bonza Bruce, I do hope that The Saturday Solution has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me!
Yours most sincerely
Dr. Basil
@ The Saturday Solution Clinic T.M.


____________________________

Todays Moral Code is:

~ If  your bed is taken over, take it back  ~
 
_________________________________


If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr. Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today on The Saturday Solution with Dr Basil, and if you've missed this session don't forget that I'll be back next week with another open clinic and case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr

Dr. Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA


Copyright and All Rights Reserved @ Dr. Basil The Saturday Solution



2 comments:

  1. I love this part of your advice: "Mew must become a feline wall of impenetrable force." Yes! I'm especially impressed with your advice suggesting the neglected cats commence synchronized purring at relevant times. My feline companion Blue agrees with all your suggestions. Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monday Greetings Joesph and Blue! How nice to see mew both here and thank mew fur your comment :D I'm glad that my advice seems relevant to mew both.... I will endeavor to keep helping as many troubled kitties as I can! Bestest purrs Basil X0X

      Delete

*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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