Saturday, 20 October 2012

The Saturday Solution with Dr. Basil Widdairs ~ Fish Tank Frenzy!

Welcome to the 'Saturday Solution'
Dr. Basil Widdairs

Pet Advice Columnist Extraordinaire!

Ph.D. in Kitteh Psychology  
BSc (Hons) Headology  
Psy.D. Furry Logic
 MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense


My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment 
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T

Dr Basil ~ helping mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Purroblems and Desperate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

I use only the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kittehs 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked 

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitteh sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help you release all your stresses and worries just drop by my new clinic held here every Saturday or, alternatively email me your purroblem and I'll answer here, if mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, relax, breath deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help...

Here is another of my latest cases:

(Via email)
Fish Tank Frenzy!

Dear Dr. Basil

My hooman just bought a fish tank and filled it with tasty yummy morsels.  They are all different colours and sizes, a most appealing array of yummable delicacies.   

He put it on the side table in the lounge and now he gets upset when I sit next to it and stare at the swimming snack packs and paw at the glass.  I don’t understand why he gets so uptight and furry annoyed when I sit on the lid and fish with my paw either,  (the water is furry warm and nice too!) 

I am most decidedly foncused ?????  Why else would he have brought it, unless it was a self-service buffet for pour moi?

Yours all fished out and craving fishy flavoured noms



This is my Expert Reply
Today I use the colour BLUE, as it is supurr calming and is just like the oceans ~ very Zen Harmonies. Therefore being the purrfect choice fur this particular purroblem.

Dear Cleocatra

How nice to have your very own self-serve buffet in the lounge, with a vast assortment of swimming snack packs.  Howefurr, I don’t think that was the purpose of the fish tank. Mew see, hoomans are furry peculiar and like to keep all kinds of things in tanks, such as: Spiders, Snakes, Lizards, Insects, and a whole array of other creatures (eeeeek!!!!)  I purrsonally find it quite bizarre, but who am I to pass judgement - Whatever makes them happy! For happy hoomans means a happy home, and a happy home means more love and attention fur us marvellous and magnificent kitties.

So I would suggest to mew, that purrlease by all means sit and watch the swimming snack packs, definitely NO PAWING of the glass though!  Mew may find it rather relaxing and totally hypnotic after several sessions, and that the experience enhances your Zen Harmonies furry well.  Howefurr, DO NOT fish under any circumstances (fight that primal urge and resist the temptation of your tickled taste-buds) as your hooman will most likely take great offence to this.

If, after this short conditioning programme, mew are still craving the taste of fresh sweet yummable fishies.  I would recommend the following idea’s to get your way:

A.)   Sit next to a can of Tuna/Sardines/Prawns (whateffur your chosen fancy) and meow furry loudly. Make sure the tin opener is right next to the tin. Hint hint! Mew can't be any more obvious.
B.)    If your hooman effurr eats salmon or other fishies, sit right next to him and give him your most dazzling delightful purr and nudge frequently until he gives in and shares with mew.
C.)    As your hooman likes fishies, there are bound to be magazines lying around and mew are a crafty little kitteh and have furry sharp claws, this is what I suggest:-  Carefully cut out the images that appeal to mew most of the types of fishies mew would like to nom (This is furry important: make sure they are not the same as the fishies swimming in the tank otherwise mew will look like a stalking homicidal maniac) Once mew have selected your pictures, leave them around the house in furry obvious places, as some hoomans don’t quite get the message first time round and need lots of prompting.  I would recommend leaving them on his pillow, in the bathroom, kitchen table, TV (Lick and stick to the screen - cat drool is a purrfect adhesive) and on the Computer screen too, also next to or even in your food bowl and don’t forget next to the kettle, that is a prime placement point.
D.)   If mew have any toy fish, leave these in prominent positions and meow loudly when your hooman is in the room and mew are sitting next to it, pick it up and drop at his feet. A gift for your hooman.  Your human should reward your behaviour with a treat, if the treat is not fishie flavour, walk away in complete disgust. Repeat until your hooman gets the message.

Hopefully a fishy wishy will come true for mew!

Cleocatra, I do hope that The Saturday Solution has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me ~ I'm available 24-7! (Please Note: Extra charges may be incurred for out of hours service)
Yours most sincerely
Dr. Basil
@ The Saturday Solution Clinic T.M.


Todays Moral Code is:

~ If mew can't fish, make a wish  ~

If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr. Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today on The Saturday Solution with Dr Basil, and if you've missed this session don't forget that I'll be back next week with another open clinic and case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr

Dr. Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA

Copyright and All Rights Reserved @ Dr. Basil The Saturday Solution

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