Wednesday, 23 January 2013
Basil the Bionic Cat ~ Book Excerpt!
Wednesday Greetings to all my Wunderpurr pals!
Today I thought a share a little excerpt from my novel - I do hope that mew enjoy it and help spread the word of my totally pawesome adventures!
Copyright Cathrine Garnell 2004 - 2013
Today mew can meet Posie, the hilarious posse of mice and the deadly V.F.T - a mutated Venus Fly Trap with decidedly homicidal tendencies, and not forgetting about the crop of genetically modified potatoes that are totally out of control! (Seriously!!!)
Downstairs in the laboratory, Mr P. peered through the glass at the V.F.T., which was completely inert. “Better warm you up, I think,” Mr P. said, turning off the cold air inlet pipe supply. He sat there with the video camera on the tripod trained at the V.F.T. to record it coming around. Slowly the V.F.T stirred in the tank, its jaws gleaming brightly in the light as it stretched up towards the tank lid, its leaves sparkling and glimmering as it vigorously shook itself awake.
Mr P. peered closely through the glass. Some more changes had occurred since last night. The V.F.T. now appeared to be looking straight at him, which unnerved him greatly. It moved itself around in its pot until it appeared to be facing Mr P. head on. “It can’t see me. It can sense me but it can’t see me. That is so weird!” Mr P. made more notes in his book.
A few minutes later he mumbled, “Let’s try this.” He moved his finger on the glass of the tank in a figure eight. The V.F.T appeared to mirror Mr P.s finger, its shiny oval head moving in an exact figure eight. Mr P. then moved his finger up and down the glass. The V.F.T looked like it was nodding. Mr P. moved his finger side to side. The V.F.T. also mimicked this perfectly. “Unbelievable. This is quite remarkable!” exclaimed Mr P., scribbling frenziedly in his book. “I am so pleased I have the video, otherwise Huxley would think I was making it up!”
He moved his hand onto the top of the tank and patted the lid affectionately. The V.F.T lunged at him, ferociously snapping at the glass lid. Mr P. sprang back away from the tank. More fragments of glass had been chipped off and the V.F.T. was crunching them up in its menacing silver jaws and sat spitting them out at the sides of the tank, as if trying to shoot them at Mr P.
“Hmmm...you’re in a pretty lethal mood. Better cool you off again, I think,” Mr P. flicked off the heat lamp and turned on the ice cold air supply. He watched the V.F.T. wilt into a comatose state. “I’d better put you in another tank, one with integral wire reinforcing as well, just to be sure.” Mr P. suddenly had a brain wave. “I know, if I spray some of the other batch of S.S.S 3#127457 shielding formula onto the inside and outside of the glass, that should make it impermeable to the V.F.T. attacks and a lot safer for us all. Then I can be sure it’s not going to get out!”
Mr P. continued with other various tests after moving the V.F.T. to the new, more secure S.S.S. sprayed tank. He had gathered some other plant and mineral samples to test the S.S.S batch no: 2#127456 on, which was slightly different from batch nos: 1#127455 and 3#127457.
He applied one large drop of serum on a potato seed and planted it in ordinary garden soil in a large black plastic pot, watered it in really well and placed it under another heat lamp in a large metal wire holding cage. He positioned the video camera with the time delay on and left it alone to proceed with another sample.
He sprayed the same serum directly onto a piece of black volcanic rock. It melted into black lava all over the desk top and then, a few minutes later, reassembled itself into its original shape but with a nuance of a silvery glow. Mr P. picked it up in a pair on tongs and was astounded when he realised that he could squash it into any shape he wanted. He rolled the piece of malleable rock into a ball on the desk and then dropped it. When it hit the floor it spread across the tiles like a shiny silver puddle before it restored itself to its previous rock shape. “This gets better by the minute!” Mr P. said excitedly to himself as he feverishly scribbled more notes in his book.
Basil sat outside the laboratory with Posie and he mewed very loudly and scratched at the door. “He’ll open the door in a minute,” Basil said, “then I’ll show you that thing I told you about.”
Mr P. slid the hatch back. “Hello Basil, hang on while I open the door.” When the door finally opened, Basil padded in closely followed by Posie. “I see you’ve brought your new friend. Hello, Posie, how are you?”
“Meiow, meiow, meiow!” replied Posie happily as she curled herself around Mr P.’s ankles.
“Ah, I see we have another talking cat!” laughed Mr P., stroking Posie gently on head. “Let me know if you want anything, won’t you?” Posie mewed appreciatively and went to find Basil.
Basil was looking, not too closely, through the new tank at the inert V.F.T. when Posie padded up to him and stared in. “Is that the thing?” she asked, pushing her nose right onto the side of the tank. “It doesn’t look very scary to me.”
“Yep, that’s it. Mr P. makes it like that for safety,” replied Basil knowledgeably. “It’s a real mean plant when it’s awake.”
Mr P. was at the other side of the laboratory looking at the plant pot with the potato in. Small silvery green shoots were poking through the soil. He set the video camera on normal run time as the growth was so fast. “This is great, a real marvel. This could be the fertiliser of the future. Crop rotation could be quarterly instead of yearly, feeding the billions of people on the planet would be no problem...” He paused thoughtfully “...that’s if the food grown is safe to eat, otherwise we could have a race of mutated super humans. So many tests, not enough time!”
The potato continued to grow until it appeared to become pot bound about one and a half hours later. It was eight feet tall and six feet across with silvery green foliage. Basil and Posie had moved away and were sat by the door not taking their eyes off it or the V.F.T. or the black volcanic rock that Mr P. kept testing.
“Sam, supper’s ready,” Mrs P. shouted through the closed metal door as she tapped on it with a wooden spoon.
“Coming dear, I won’t be a minute.” Mr P. made sure everything was safe and secure before he opened the door and went up to the kitchen for supper.
Basil and Posie went out into the hall and sat on the pew by the front door. “That plant grew fast didn’t it?” said Posie, rather alarmed by what she had seen. “Why did it do that?”
“Mr P. has this stuff he keeps in his safe. It’s called S.S.S. Super Strength Serum... it makes things really strong very quickly and resistant to pain and stuff. Mr P. says it gives organic compounds bionic strength; organic-bionic,” Basil explained as concisely and eloquently as he could. “It also forms a kind of protective barrier around the specimen, a bit like a force field.”
“Oh, that’s interesting,” said Posie, not really paying attention and momentarily engaged in trying to bat a fly that was buzzing round her head. “Take that, you pest!” She took another swipe at it and missed. Basil shook his head in mock dismay. Posie’s attention span was non-existent.
Amber and Suzy ran down the stairs into the hall and saw Basil and Posie sitting on the pew. “What are you two up to?” enquired Suzy, fussing Basil.
“Looks like they are plotting something!” Amber said, fussing Posie. “I wonder if it has anything to do with mice? I don’t think Posie has met them yet. We had better take her to meet them after supper, what do you think?”
“Good idea,” agreed Suzy as they walked into the kitchen.
“Hello, Dad,” the twins said together.
“Hi girls, how are you both?” asked Mr P., smiling widely at his pretty daughters. He was immensely proud of them.
“Fine thanks,” replied Amber first.
“Me too!” chipped in Suzy.
“Daddy, have you got another spare specimen cage? As my project is expanding,” asked Amber as innocently as she could.
“I may have an odd shaped one that I have never used that you can have. I will dig it out for you when I go back in the lab.
“That would be great!” gushed Amber, beaming. “Thanks.”
After supper the twins went back upstairs closely followed by Basil and Posie. They all went to Amber’s closet and had just sat down when Mr P. called the twins to fetch the new cage.
“Basil, watch Posie and introduce her to the mice,” said Amber as she and Suzy left the room.
Basil walked to the cage. “Hello you lot, whatcha doing?”
“Not much, Basil. We are a bit cramped in here,” replied Herbert, elbowing Dwayne out of the way.
“It’s nothing we can’t cope with though!” said Harry hurriedly, his whiskers twitching insanely.
“We are managing just fine,” butted in Hubert, pushing his way to the front.
“Oh that’s good, you won’t want the new cage Amber is getting for you then!” teased Basil wickedly, winking at Posie.
“What new cage?” Horace asked quickly.
“The new cage that Mr P. is giving to the twins as we speak,” replied Basil, smirking.
“Really?” asked Henry in disbelief. “Are we really getting another cage?”
“Yep, you sure are! It’s an extension for this cage, so you’ll be living in a mouse mansion!”
“Wow!” Dwayne said dreamily, visualising a monstrous mouse mansion. “I always wanted a big open plan, spacious kind of a cage, wow! Do I get my own wheel if it’s that big?”
“Shut up Dwayne,” snapped Henry, his whiskers bristling irately, “you’re so selfish at times! Just be thankful that we won’t have to be on top of each other anymore!”
“Yeah, that’ll be a huge relief, because you stink!” chortled Dwayne, nudging Henry out of the way.
“I may stink but at least my name isn’t dimwit Dwayne the dimmest mouse that ever was!” Henry shouted back angrily. “How does it feel to be so stupid that you think your reflection in the mirror is another mouse and have a conversation with it for four hours before you wonder why it hasn’t answered you? How dumb is that?”
“Well, at least I didn’t get my feet glued to the exercise wheel and end up going round and round and upside down for a whole afternoon!” said Dwayne, laughing hysterically.
“But you put the glue on there in the first place!” screamed Henry in exasperation.
“Yeah but you, Mr Clever Clogs, should have known! You would still be there now if that man hadn’t come and rescued you!”
“Just shut up, shut up, shut up, I’m not listening anymore!” squeaked Henry, vexed beyond all reason and storming off into the box.
“Do they always go on like that?” Basil asked Horice.
“Yeah, most of the time but we just ignore it.”
“It's the only way,” said Harvey calmly, “otherwise it sends you demented!”
“I feel demented after being exposed to that little bit!” replied Basil, shaking his head. “Oh, by the way, this is Posie, a newbie like yourselves to the Pilkington household.”
“Hello, Posie!” chimed seven squeaky voices.
“Urm, hello back, small furry white rodents.” She turned to Basil and whispered, “Shouldn’t we be eating them or something? They look awfully tasty little morsels!”
“What did she say?” Horice asked, backing away into the box.
“Nothing, it’s OK you chaps, don’t worry, Posie is not going to eat you,” reassured Basil calmly, shooting a sideways glance at Posie.
“I’m not?” Posie seemed confused, “But why not? They look yummy and scrummy and should be in my tummy!”
“Is she some kind of psycho cat, Basil?” asked Harry as he retreated away, now very scared.
“No, Posie has been living rough, scavenging and generally not having a nice time. It could be that she is slightly unhinged.”
“I’m not unhinged and don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” protested Posie vehemently taking a swipe at Basil. “I just know a damn fine meal when I see one. Well, a banquet in this case!”
“We aren't going to eat them, Posie. They are my friends and they are now your new friends and you don’t eat friends, do you?”
“Well, that depends if they are a good friend or a bad friend and also on the situation. If you are starving hungry and haven’t eaten in days and they look tasty then I say eat your friends!” answered Posie defiantly, who was really annoyed at missing out on the meal of a lifetime.
Basil was trying to reassure the seven mice that they weren’t going to be a fanciful feast for one, when Amber and Suzy came back carrying the new cage, which looked particularly odd. It had clips on one side so that it could be attached straight on to the other cage. It had several levels at varying heights that were connected by small ladders and gangways.
The twins removed one side of the old cage and quickly clipped the extension on so the mice didn’t escape.
“Amazing!” said a delighted Amber, examining their handiwork closely. “Just look at the size of it, it’s humongous!”
“It certainly is,” replied Suzy as they watched the mice explore the new cage.
“Wow!” exclaimed Dwayne in wonder as he looked around the new cage. “My prayers have been answered. I bags the penthouse level!” “Just shut up!” snorted Henry, bristling his whiskers angrily.
“Oh that’s just typical!” squeaked Harvey who was furious at Dwayne. “You always bags the best bit!”
“No-one is bagsying anything!” shouted Harry loudly, losing his temper. “We will share all of the levels, understood?”
“OK, Harry,” squeaked six voices together.
“Thank goodness I don’t live with all my brothers and sisters!” sighed a relieved Basil. “I don’t think I could stand the bickering!”
“Me either!” agreed Posie.
“They all seem really talkative with all that squeaking and mewing going on, don’t they?” said Suzy, edging a little closer.
“Yes, they do. I wonder what they are saying? It would be fantastic to be able to speak to them and understand what they are saying, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, that would be really great!”
Just then, Mrs P. called from the landing, “Girls, are you in bed yet?”
“We will be in five minutes, Mum,” said Amber, running out of her closet.
“OK, but I’ll be back to check on you!” Mrs P. said, going back down stairs.
“Come on, Basil, you and Posie will have to go now,” said Amber, hurriedly trying to get ready for bed. “We’ll see you in the morning, OK?”
Basil mewed and strolled out onto the landing with Posie. “What shall we do now, Basil?” asked Posie.
“Hmm, I think it’s time for a nap,” replied Basil, yawning as he padded towards the tower room.
Posie loitered on the landing for a little while wondering whether to go back for a mouse meal for one but then decided against it and went chasing after Basil.
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That's all for today, I do hope that I've tantalised your supurr sensitive taste-buds with this little excerpt and if mew want to read more my book is available from Amazon Everywhere!
Here's the links - should mew wish to part-take (from the comfort and safety of your favourite armchair - of course!) in my furry wild and dangerous adventures a little further:
USA Amazon (+ India)
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So for the average price of a cup of coffee, mew can get your hooman to forgo their caffeine intake for just one little iddy bitty day and buy mew my pawesome book instead - mew are doing them a great service by this, as caffeine is known to make hoomans rather excitable if drunk in large quantities - much like us consuming a little too much catnip and we all know how that is! MOL!!!
Wishing mew all a totally pawesome day and I'll be back soon with more on
Bestest purrs and meows as always
P.S. And if mew have any purroblems whatsoever mew'd like to discuss on The Saturday Solution with me, aka Dr. Basil - I'd be more than happy to help - no purroblem is too great or small!