featuring our latest high octane adventure
Wunderpurr greetings supurr furriends
Welcome to Part VI of our latest bonkers adventure and if mew've missed out on the story thus far, please click the links below to get up to speed:
A quick recap from last week...
"Can I not get any good news today?" I sighed wearily.
"Well, if it's any consolation," Snowie said. "All systems are still fully operational and I've got a satellite tracking the Baron as we speak."
"And where is the evil, dastardly bunny?" I asked.
But before Snowie could speak, the emergency siren began to blare throughout the entire complex, signalling a perimeter breach.
I stared at the external camera feed. "Oh for flips sake, could my day get any worse! Battle stations, we're under attack!"
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'Battle Stations, The Beast & Really Big Guns'
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The emergency siren cut through the still air like a knife as I continued to stare at the security monitors and the invading threat.
"Humphrey mew and Smooch need to go down to the Level Three and bring up The Beast," I said not taking my eyes from the screens. "Snowie mew stay here, lock down effurything this time, but give me and Amber time to get out of the hatch. Posie, mew follow me and Amber and stay inside the hatch."
"But I can help outside!" Posie protested.
"I need you at the hatch door," I said. "Mew will be the furst line of defence if things go south."
She conceded and went silent.
Snowie looked really worried. "But if I lock effurything down mew won't be able to get back in if things go wrong."
"Snowie, Amber and I will be fine," I said using my bestest reassuring tone. "Parsley's safely locked in the Med Bay, Humphrey and Smooch will be up top in less than five, giving us just enough time to go to my secret armoury and get weaponed up."
Amber looked at me in shock. "Mew have a secret weapons room that only mew know about?"
"Of course," I replied. "Mew don't think I'm effur going to get caught out like that do mew?" I lowered my voice. "In fact I have stash's in places mew wouldn't believe!" I winked at her. "Come on, time to get tooled up."
The control room doors closed behind us with a heavy grating sound and I put in my earpiece. "Snowie can mew hear me, I'm on channel 7, I repeat comms on channel 7."
"I hear mew Basil," she replied. "Loud and clear, Humphrey's online, Smooch just confirmed, Posie too and Amber's just confirmed," she paused fur just a moment. "And Parsley's eating raspberry jelly in the Med Bay, he says if mew need him let him know!"
We ran along the corridors to my secret stash. The door was hidden behind a fake ventilation panel, which I pulled opened and used my paw print on the biometric keypad.
"No peeking!" I said to Posie and Amber as I hurried inside.
They made certain they were looking the other way and moments later I was back carrying an assortment of weapons, and carefully replaced effurything concealing the secret room.
"Amber take the AK47," I said passing her the gun and two belts loaded with extra ammo mags. "Posie mew can have the Glocks and here's some extra ammo."
Posie took the guns from me, she checked them over, releasing the clips and reinserting them with a solid click. "Thanks Basil," she said. "These will do nicely and extra ammo is always good, better to be prepared."
Amber had draped the ammo belts across her body fur ease of access when reloading. "I approve of your secondary arms stash," she said with a slight smile.
I gave her a taught smile back. "To be honest I wish we weren't in this position." I said strapping my ammo belts on and checking the clip in my Uzi submachine gun.
There was a low grumbling and the bunker began to tremble just furry slightly.
"Good news," I suddenly beamed. "Humphrey's unleashed The Beast!"
We dashed to the main hatch. Checking the coast was clear, Amber and I ran outside and used the P.A.'s Summer House as cover while Posie remained just inside the bunker hatch behind the Bay Tree with the door sealed.
The ground rumbled, vibrating beneath our paws and then a furry large hatch slid back in the lawn revealing what looked like a really deep shaft.
Seconds later I could see Humphrey and Smooch atop The Beast as the metal platform rose up from the depths and reached lawn level. Humphrey drove it onto the lawn, its heavy tracks grinding noisily and the hatch closed.
Smooch looked best purrleased and Humphrey remained as serious as effur as he positioned The Beast centrally on the lawn.
Tapping my earpiece I spoke softly. "Snowie we are in position, give me stats."
"Basil, the enemy is still at the south east perimeter and but it looks like they're going to spread out behind the fence and surround us to try an assault on all fronts!" she replied.
"Did effurypurdy get that?"
I got an affirmative from all troops and Humphrey moved The Beasts' mighty gun straight in-line with the fence where the enemy was amassing behind it.
Suddenly Baron Von Booney jumped up on top of the garden gate and surveyed the garden.
"Basil," he called. "Oh Basil, where are you my little furry friend?"
I just couldn't believe the audacity of that rambunctious evil bunny. "Oh Baron, it's so lovely to mew again, NOT!" I called out from the cover of the Summer House. Then hitting my earpiece again I said softly. "Baron Butthead is unarmed so I'm going out with no weapons, just make sure I'm covered good and proper."
"Copy that," Smooch said and positioned his 50 cal mounted gun straight at the Baron.
"Affirmative," Humphrey said. "If that bucked tooth bunny makes one wrong move he's going to get blasted into oblivion."
I turned to Amber. "Watch my back, ok!"
She nodded as I put my gun down and took off the ammo belts and leapt
onto my lookout platform.
"Ok Baron, let's talk but any funny business and Humphrey unleashes The Beast right in your face!" I said icily. "So keep your hoard of fluffy ferrets under control, and don't think that mew are going to distract us and then ambush us, the perimeter is rigged with explosives and I just need one wiff of trouble and mew lot get blown into little iddy biddy pieces!"
The Baron raised his eyebrow, just a slight twitch but I could tell he'd underestimated the situation. He signalled to whoeffur was behind the gate to stand down.
"Ok Basil," he said wearily. "We'll do it your way for now."
I nodded. "So Baron, what the flip is your boggle, and why are mew really here?" I asked coldly.
The Baron took a long breath. "I'm here because YOU STOLE MY LIFE!" he screamed. "And I want it back!"
I stared in utter disbelief at the raving lunatic perched on top of the garden gate.
"How did I steal your life?" I asked. "Mew talk in riddles, obviously your time in The Dungeon has severely impaired your cognitive function!"
"DO NOT MOCK ME CAT!" he spat maliciously. "You were the one who put me in The Dungeon and now I want payback!"
I considered this statement fur a moment before I answered. "Baron, mew put yourself there, if mew had not been a complete kleptomaniac stealing effurything in sight then I would have neffur had to have mew incarcerated, would I?" I posed. "Mew only have yourself to blame, if mew'd been a good honest bunny, and run the corporation in a propurr and appropriate manner, it would have neffur happened, comprende?"
I could see steam, yes actual steam coming out of the Barons big floppy ears.
The Baron was shaking uncontrollably with rage, and the steam kept coming, even his bling started to shake apart and some of the nearly almost real diamonds fell to the ground with a soft thwump.
"BASIL THIS IS WAR!" The Baron screamed. "ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I raised an eyebrow in a most nonchalant way and gave him a shrug. "As mew wish Baron," I called, then I gave Humphrey the nod.
A deafening BOOM resounded around the garden as Humphrey unleashed The Beast on The Baron.
Smooch was whooping. "Whoooooooo hoooooooo Humphrey, mew blast the Baron into next year.... whooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooo!"
To be honest, it was a furry serious moment but I couldn't help but smirk when that missile launched.
"Go Humphrey! Go Humphrey! Fire another one, GO GO GO Humphrey!" Smooch chanted. "Can I fire the 50 cal now Basil? Purrlease, can I? Can I? Can I?"
I shook my head as I watched with morbid fascination as the missile careened towards the gate.
The missile hit the gate and exploded, turning the wood into a million toothpicks and that's when all hell broke loose.
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OMC, did The Baron really get blown into next year?
And if not, where was he blown to?
What happened to the nearly almost real diamonds that landed on the lawn?
And, again who are the ferrets?
Is Budger the Badger behind the fence?
Is Budger the Badger behind the fence?
Where did mew get a Tank from?
And why do mew call it The Beast?
Is Smooch really old enough to be using a 50 cal?
What will the P.A. say about the gate?
Actually what will she say when she sees there's an 'All Out War' happening in her garden?
And does she know about all the weapons mew guys have?
I'm sure mew have many more questions, and we will do our furry best to answer these and many more in future posts, so don't furget to stop by fur next weeks thrilling installment of:
The Curse of The Klepto Bunny
And in the meantime, if mew would like to rediscover the total insanity of The Pink Flamingo Saga, here's the links:
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We'll be back on Friday with our usual slot of The Pet Parade, until then
the furry bestest Tuesday Purrs
Basil & Co xox
Bunker Background & Tank Images used under license from Shutterstock.com