Supurr salutations pawesome furriends
Buy Your Own Books
my reply to which, was
Mew Can't Be Serious!
I'd been browsing on my most fav interwebs shop effur, Amazon and found a fabulous selection of books to add to my library. Then the P.A. arrived in the office and sat at the desk, so I seized the oppurrtunity and said.
"Can mew just add your credit card deets and click buy so I can get some new books?" I replied.
The P.A. looked at my basket contents and scrolled through my soon to be new and delicious books delivered to my door the furry next day.
"Do you realize how many books you have here?" the P.A. asked in shock.
"It is a huge problem!" The P.A. answered. "Did you see how much the total is? And I just paid for your annual Audible subscription last week, so unless you've got a secret stash of cash, say bye bye to all the books!"
It's rather funny but suddenly I can't find Parsley anywhere, he seems to be avoiding me?????
I'll ambush him later!
* * *
Meanwhile in the inky blackness of Purradator Wurld...
"Shhhhhhhh Smooch, Amber's looking fur me, she wants my credit card to buy thousands of books fur her library!" Parsley whispered from his hiding spot in the dark under the stairs. "Anypurrdy would think I'm the only cat around here with a bank account!"
"Dude mew are the only cat around here with a bank account!" Smooch laughed quietly.
"Awwwww heck, I am too!" Parsley moaned. "What am I going to do? I've just put a deposit on an ex-army Unimog, I can't be buying books too, I'll be skint and living a low-life instead of a high-life in my epically epic new Unimog!"
"Oh no, mew're kidding me?" Parsley groaned.
"Nope, I kid not, one time she ambushed Basil, he went mental, there was litter effurywhere!" Smooch began to laugh.
"Why did she ambush Basil?" Parsley asked.
"Because she needed cash!" Smooch laughed loudly. "Why do mew think she does pole dancing on Fridays and Caturdays, to earn cash fur books!"
"Well she's got her own cash then!" Parsley let out a sigh of relief.
"Nope dude, she spends that the minute she finishes her shifts, why do mew think there's an Amazon delivery most days?" Smooch replied.
"I thought that was cat-food and rations fur the bunker!" Parsley said.
"Nope it's Amber's book addiction," Smooch grinned.
Parsley shook his head in dismay. "Dude she needs an intervention and quick!"
Suddenly there was a bumping sound above them. Parsley squashed his paw offur Smooch's mouth to muffle the laughter.
"Shhhhhhhhh!" Parsley hissed. "Amber's coming down the stairs."
* * *
"Parsley! Parsley! Come out, come out whereffur mew are!" I trilled in my most genial tone as I descended the stairs. [Though to be honest it sounded really, really creepy and I actually scared the bejeezus out of myself fur second!]
The house was stony silent as I hit rock bottom in the hall, and then I heard a strange noise coming from under the stairs, padding to the door I furry carefully hooked my paw around the edge of the door and pulled it open. The soft hall light illuminated two pairs of startled eyes [vishus deer caught in headlights startled], staring straight at me from the coal-black gloom within.
"Oh there mew are Parsley," I trilled again. "Can I just..."
There was a flash of black fur as Parsley hurtled through the door and was gone.
Smoochie was grinning like a Cheshire cat as he ambled out at a rather leisurely pace.
"Hey Amber!" he smirked. "Bought any good books lately?"
"Well I would do if I could get any cash!" I replied haughtily.
"Purrhaps mew should consider taking more shifts at the club then!" he chuckled.
"And cut down on my reading time, are mew insane?" I shot back.
"Well mew either do more shifts and get more cash or keep doing what mew're doing and have no new books!"
To be continued....
* * *
If mew need a chuckle in your life, then I heartily recommend this little book of laughs!
**FYI the above Amazon.co.uk image is an affiliate link. I will get a rather modest commission should mew decide to click through and purrchase it**
Affiliate link added 2nd March 2018