The Smooch Report
I Thought I Made A Clean Get-Away - Wrong!
Tuesday Greetings my wunderpurr pals, I hope mew've all been having a pawesome time.
Smoochie is back with another report, if mew haven't met him before, mew can learn all about my speshul needs brofur here:
Anyway, let's get back to what was really happening. As Smoochie is only allowed to go in the garden under supurrvision and not over the fence like me, the P.A. usually lets me out a good 15 minutes before effurryone else, this gives me time to amble around the courtyard, pootle onto the lawn, have a sniff and investigate around effurywhere before I go over the fence and down the field on Kitty Patrol. She does this fur 2 reasons, the furst, so I get to have a little 'me time' and secondz because Smoochie is like my shadow and follows me effurywhere and has a habit of non-stop taste-testing me.
This plan howeffur didn't go too well on Sunday, I did go out furst and made it as far as the lawn edge, mew can see me on the mill-wheel.
Little did I know, the patio doors were open and Smooch had already sneaked out and was watching from the other end of the garden bed - he was being all supurr quiet and still - furry sneaky Smoochie!!
I leapt off the mill-wheel, over the garden boarder and made it on to the lawn. Then it happened, my attention was diverted as I had just spied the biggest, fattest, juiciest pigeon effur which had just landed on the end mill-wheel under the bird-feeder - I was totally transfixed as it was HUGELY ENORMOUS
The next thing I knew, was Smooch hurtling up beside me and taste-testing the ground I was standing on - as mew can imagine, I had to walk away - he was licking dirt!!!
At this point Smooch was so into his dirt licking that I managed to get a few steps ahead before he realized I was gone.
I kept walking, not looking back hoping he hadn't missed me yet, sadly that wasn't the case.
Seconds later he hurtled passed me at break neck speed - he can move furry furry quickly despite only having three legs, in fact when he gets going, mew'd neffur know he didn't have all four!
I thought I'd neffur break free and get down the field
Anyhoo, the P.A. finally came to rescue me, she picked up Smoochie and carried him back to one of the mill-wheels while I escaped over the gate.
This is what he proceeded to do in my absence
3 of the mill-wheels have catmint growing in them, the 4th under the bird-feeder is catmint free, so the birds get peace and quite, unlike what's happening here.
All it takes is just one iddy biddy whiff
Before mew know it, you're in total immersion mode
A minute later, the effects take hold - all dignity & self control is lost
Things start moving, the mill-wheel begins to spin - hold on tight
Mew counter balance and things get really hairy for a moment
Gravity kicks in, spins you over and mew land smack bang in the middle of
a patch of fresh catmint!
And it continues again... an endless cycle of catmint capers!
The poor catmint got so shredded by the Smoochie-Mint-Monster or Heathen Cat, the P.A. immediately deemed that plant off limits indefinitely.
So that brings me to the end of this Smooch Report
I hope mew've enjoyed this edition and I'll be back on the morrow with
Wordless on Wednesday featuring the entire Kitty Clan