A quick recap from last week...
Missing Rabbits, Bobtails & Raspberry Jelly
The last wisps of acrid smoke dissipated as I jumped off my look-out perch, grabbed my Uzi's from Amber and hastily looked around the garden, waiting fur the ferret army to attack.
Smooch had the 50 cal on the tripod and was scanning all perimeters, Humphrey hit the automatic reload for the missiles in The Beast and had his paw on the trigger ready fur the furst wave.
We furry stealthily approached the gate, well the hole in the fence where the gate was a few seconds ago. "Cover me!" I said. "I'm breaching the perimeter."
I was just about to step over the threshold when Snowie spoke, her tone urgent. "Basil, do not take another step!"
I stopped dead in my tracks and waited.
"I'm just rebooting the external camera system," she explained. "There's no point walking into an ambush when we can see exactly what's going off from here... I have eyes in three... two... one..." she said.
"Give me some good news," I said waiting anxiously.
"Basil I have excellent news," she sounded so happy. "The ferret hoard is hurtling down the field to the cover of the wood, the perimeter is all clear, I repeat all clear!"
I sucked in a sharp intake of breath and released it slowly, letting the tension slip from my fur like raindrops off silken petals. "Guy's," I said. "It seems that we're in the clear fur now." then added. "Snowie what happened to the Baron?"
The comms were silent fur a moment. "I'm just rewinding the camera feed to watch what happened at the time of impact," she answered. "Ah.... The Baron escaped, he seems to have been catapulted by the blast down the field and landed in a tree upside down."
She paused. "Wait a sec, let me rewind that..." I heard her chuckle. "It would appear he didn't get away completely in tact."
"Explain," I said.
She laughed out loud. "His tail got blown off!"
I could hear raucous laughing from effuryone now.
""If mew look through the debris I'm sure mew'll find it!" she said in hysterics.
I shook my head in utter dismay, what the flip did I want Baron Von Buttheads bobtail fur?
"Good job effuryone," I said once the laughter had died down and turned to face The Beast.
Smooch had laughed so hard he'd fallen on the lawn. Sometimes I just couldn't believe my furmilly.
I walked to Smooch. "Come on mew, time to get The Beast back into the bunker," I said giving him a move it soldier look.
"Awwwww Basil, can't we keep it out a bit longer, there's other things we could blow up and Humphrey's such a good aim!" he whined.
I shook my head. "Time to clean up, quick sharp before the P.A. get's home from work," I replied. "What will she say coming home to this?"
Smooch got up, looked at Humphrey, then at Amber and then at me. "I think she'd say, why the flip didn't mew ring me because I wanted to play in The Beast and blow things up... that's what she'd say, mew know it's true and then she'd say, give me the 50 cal and we're going to have some serious fun!" Smooch burst out laughing.
I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face. "Ok, ok, mew're right, she would have loved it and wanted to play with effury gun we have," I conceded. "I know that she would have really enjoyed getting tooled up, armed to the teeth and jumped right in the fray, but Smooch this isn't her fight, it's ours, well mine in fact, so let's do the clean up and hope she's none the wiser."
* * *
A short while later, the clean up was done and after finding a couple of wooden pallets, a nail-gun and with bit of heavy lifting, we'd managed to mackle a new gate together between us.
We stood back and admired our handy work. "The P.A. will neffur notice!" I said, sounding a lot more hopeful than I actually felt.
Humphrey shot me a look. "Mew've got to be kidding, just look at it, it's an abomination of a thing and if mew think she won't notice the difference mew're crazy!"
"Ok, so it looks completely dreadful but it's the best we can do with the tools and supplies we have," I conceded. "We'll just explain the situation to her, she'll understand right?"
Effuryone looked effuyrwhere but at me, and that's when I knew the P.A. wasn't going to be best purrleased.
Are the ferrets nothing more than a big bunch of baby pussies?
What is the new plan?
We'll be back on Friday with our usual slot of The Pet Parade, until then