The Extraordinary Voyages of Cap'n Basil Blackheart and his Motley Crew
The Crimson Revenge
The only thing going through my mind was that this was some really, really, monumentally freaky natural phenomenom and the chances that we were going to survive it, well let me just say I wasn't holding my breath!
I was abruptly brought back from my momentary mind-scape by my crews' terrified high-pitched screams as we reached what could only be described as the mouth of hell, and then there was nothing but blackness.
Another huge waved engulfed us and the ship rocked dangerously to and fro.
It was in that moment I saw we were headed straight towards to a rocky outcrop, immediately I automatically went into evasive manoeuvres mode as I grasped the ships wheel and began to spin it hard to port as fast as my paws would go.
“Hold ye tight!” I yelled above the noise of the crashing ocean.
I turned to Snowie, “Well that was rude!”
“I'm ok,” she gasped wiping her face. “Thank mew!”
I ran down to the hold calling Humphrey's name, my heart was beating like a jack hammer in my chest as I scrambled over strewn boxes, beams, and the utter carnage below decks. It was a mess of mammoth proportions. I pulled a wooden beam out of the way which was blocking the rear hold door, and wrenched it open expecting to find the wurst. I took a deep breath and stepped into the gloom.
But I was just blown away, and when I say blown away, I mean seriously blown away by what greeted my eyes. They [whom effur 'they' are] say, a picture says a thousand wurds, well I'll just let this one speak fur itself!
"Hey dude!" Humphrey said calmly chuffing on a big, fat Cuban cigar [I didn't know he smoked either] while he swayed to and fro in his hammock, surrounded by chaos and dripping water.
"Humphrey, you're ok!" I exclaimed excitedly.
He gave me a furry perplexing look. "Well yeah, obviously" he answered nonchalantly. "Apart from the hangover from hell and my mouth tastes like the bottom of the parrots cage, not that I've effur licked the bottom of the parrots cage, I hasten to add!"
"What?" I asked rather startled by his answer. "Mew didn't feel anything, like the ship rolling and lurching as we were sucked into a giant, monster whirlpool and were ejected like a rocket out of the other side?"
I shook my head and told him what had happened.
"Wow!" he breathed when I'd finished. "Like seriously wow dude, I just thought I was sooooo monumentally off my chops that it was me that was spinning round and round, not furgetting the rolling and lurching, that's why I got well roped in my hammock 'cause I thought I was the only one experiencing it!"
"We literally went through the mouth of hell, nearly drowned, the ship nearly destroyed, and mew just thought mew where off your chops!" I shook my head in complete disbelief. "Humphrey mew seriously need to lay off the nip, the nip grog, the nip rum, the nip effurything, dude listen to what I'm saying!"
He chuffed on the cigar again. "Dude, I must say it was a rare trip I was on, and when I say rare I mean supurr freaky... it felt so real!"
"Humphrey, just lay off the nip ok!"
At that moment I heard Smoochie call out.
I turned to Pilchard the Parrot. "Keep him here, and get rid of that cigar!"
I emerged on deck a short time later after battling my way through the jumble and disorder below decks to be welcomed by sunrise and calmer seas.
"Land ho!" Smooch yelled again.
I looked up to where he was swinging [still] and looked in the direction he was pointing, in the opposite direction to the sunrise.
In the distance I could see a smaller island, with a larger one behind.
Parsley was free in a few minutes after much careful cutting and then I went to rescue Amber and finally Smoochie. Smoochie insisted he was last, as he was having so much fun [mew know sometimes, I really wunder about him MOL].
The Crimson Revenge limped, fur want of a better wurd, towards the shore and we headed towards a small, secluded cove and dropped the anchor. [Luckily we still had one].
After what had seemed like an unreal ordeal, I finally took a deep breath and exhaled slowly letting the angst wash off me.
Then the reality dawned on me;
Where the flip were we, and how the heck were we going to get home?
This was only the beginning of our troubles and then, just when I thought it couldn't get any wurse, we were all roused out of our shock by the sudden and violent shaking of the trees on the nearby beach as a horrifically loud trumpeting blare reverberated around the cove.
It sent shivers down me timbers and rattled me draws.
Smooch was trembling as he asked. "Basil what on earth was that?"
I stared at the beach watching the trees intently, and I swear I saw a column of black smoke swirl just out of the tree line before it disappeared into the dense jungle.
I swallowed hard, and tried to keep my voice steady. "Smooch I think it was monkeys!" I lied.
Also, I bet mew've got endless questions on top of last week still unanswered ones, such as:
Where the flip are mew?
How bad is the damage to The Crimson Revenge?
Do mew think mew'll be able to fix it?
Does Humphrey really have a 'nip problem'?
What is this mysterious island mew've found?
Why did mew tell Smooch it was monkey's on the beach?
Did mew really see a smoke monster?
Do mew really think it's an actual monster?
OMC are mew 'LOST'?
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