Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Tuesday Tails ~ Pirate Q&A ~The Secrets of The Voyages of Captain Basil Revealed ~ Part VI

Welcome to 


 Pirate Q&A 

The Secrets of The Voyages of Captain Basil Revealed

So me seafaring pirating fiends, are ye ready to discover all the secrets, and get thee answers to thee questions that have been keeping ye awake night aftur night??


If ye missed the previous Q&A just be clicking the links below:

Now that we be 'aving that out of thee way, let's be getting on with divulging the answers from  Part VI 

Here's the questions:

Who is this Creator purrson?

Now I know some of mew have been driven to sleepness nights and have eye-bags to rival Heathrow Airports luggage department waiting fur the answer to this.  So in this Revelations Episode I can reveal who he is and in next weeks episode we start to get down to the nitty gritty.

The Creator dude is the being that actually created the universe as we know it, the planets and effurything really.  He is the sole reason we're all here appurently according to the general consensus, leaving the big bang theory, natural evolution and all that other stuff aside.  

What is a pocket universe?

Well in laycats terms it's basically a tiny universe that can fit in your pocket, or bag or what effur item you would want to carry around such an item! MOL

In technical terms, it's a tad more complicated; theorists or boffin peeps in the know say that there are many universes, so were are just part of a 'mulitverse' with many, many other universes throughout space and time and it's way too involved and too intricate a matter to discuss in detail here, and the fact that I wouldn't want to bore mew with hours of geek talk.  

Howeffur this is my brief take on it, a pocket universe is a deliberately siphoned of portion of our own universe which exists independently outside our own continuuuum-inumum. 

Obviously The Creator dude needed a private domicile so he created his own little universe to reside in after he'd created effurything else, and this is where he hangs on a day to day basis, getting some peace and quiet.

How will Basil get out of the orb?

I kind of just popped out of it, the speed I was travelling at through the stargate was immense and when I hit the treacle-esque gooey barrier separating our two universes I just sort of slid through and flopped out on the floor.  The gooey partition thingumybob obviously slowing my velocity to supurr slow without any ill effects.  

Did Basil really travel through a stargate?

Yes indeedy I did, and it was most exciting, but more about that next week.

Did Smooch and Parsley really blow a hole in the lab wall?

Indeed they did, heathen children!!!! I made a note to change the bio-metric code on the armoury last week, as this wasn't the furst instance of their shenanigans.

From what I've learnt about said incident; Smooch wanted to 'have a little go' with the bazooka and coerced young Parsley into his dinky little scheme, after effurypurrdy else flatly refused and told him in no uncertain terms - NO!   

Obviously he didn't come and ask me in purrson as he knew that alerting me to his desire fur playtime with hardcore weaponry would have resulted in the armoury being under severe and extreme lock-down indefinitely.  So he skirted around this issue with the rest of clan.

Anyhoo, he and young Parsley gained access to the armoury and helped themselves to one of the M72 LAW [Light Anti-Tank Weapon] models - it's a purretty old, old model, but light and easy enough to handle, also it's good to learn with under the right guidance - as it's basically a two piece launch tube with a ready-to-fire rocket inside.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Yet and I say YET, those two inexperienced zoobs didn't think to go outside and down the field fur their little bit of target practice, thinking that the indoor shooting range would be adequate to fire such a weapon. I have one wurd fur this - WRONG!

So off they trundled with their little trolley, loaded with the M72 and a few rockets into the shooting range.  The good news is that they wisely tested the circuit by squeezing the trigger several times making sure the light was off before it was loaded [I dread to think what might have happened if they hadn't]. 

Before I go on I must explain that the large, indoor range in the now, not so secret bunker is more than sufficient to test most weapons safely with it's supurr duper thick reinforced steel concrete walls and we do have an explosives room too, which is used to test small detonations should it be required.    

At this point Smooch had the bazooka loaded and primed to go on his shoulder and Parsley was assisting in keeping him stable - due to his tri-pawed nature.  Smooch's paw was on the trigger and he fired it.  The back flame caught the pair of them off guard and the aim went wide and by wide I mean a loop the loop and back out of the shooting range door, straight down the opposite corridor and exploded in the laboratory wall 500 yards away.

Luckily the sprinkler system engaged and as the walls are solid concrete the damage wasn't as bad as it could have been.  [Humphrey's hot sauce being the only casualty that day].

The moral of the story is:

A: Neffur fire a weapon that mew know little about.

B: Tripawed Cats can't shoot bazooka's

What is this hot sauce Humphrey created?

We answered this question in depth in last weeks Revelations  should mew care to refresh your memory.

Do mew think it will blow up the Kraken?

That hot sauce annihilated that rubbery, tentacled leviathan good and propurr, blowing it into the netherworld fureffur. [And possibly causing the extinction of said Kraken species - yet we take or admit no responsibility fur this action].

We did live off Kraken sushi and other Kraken delicacies fur quite some time after the event and followed a wunderpurr cooking guide offured most furry kindly by the pawesome kitties from Trout Towne - see below fur said instructions should mew effur get the chance to taste any.

Here are some of the tasty treats that mew can make from Kraken, it's amazing how many variations mew can dish up and after a week or so we did start to get a little bit creative!

Kraken and cod pie with a full cream lemon zest sauce topped with puff pastry

Kraken and prawn surprise served on a bed of lettuce garnished with rose marie sauce and a sprinkling of fresh dill

Baked Kraken and squid delight with a honey & butter sauce and topped with roasted almond flavoured croutons  - this was in all honesty a little too rubbery fur me!

Kraken and sharks fin soup with a dash of 'nip rum fur added kick and homemade bread fur dunking

Kraken and tuna melt, with fresh tomato's, mozzarella and chives served on lightly toasted granary bread

Stewed Kraken and walnut compote with a side of sweet potato spirals

Grilled Kraken steaks with a creamy mushroom sauce and tender asparagus shoots

Breaded Kraken cakes, lightly fried in coconut oil with onion rings and a side of thick cut chips [fries]

 Kraken and pepper skewers with a soy and lime dressing and a fresh herb salad on the side

Deep fried Kraken rings with a marinara sauce and garnish of fresh parsley [NOT our Parsley - the herb parsley! MOL] 

Battered Kraken, chips [fries] and mushy peas 

Sorry we have to stop there as we don't know about mew but we're getting rather hungry! MOL

*     *     *

And here's some more questions from our pawesome buddies - we know we answered these at the time, but we didn't have all the facts, now we have more....

Erin the Cat  said:  'We only have pea soup for defense at the palace, but reckon that's no good against giant squid, huh?'

My reply was, if the pea soup was scalding hot it could do a lot of damage.

Additonal:  And if said pea soup had a splash of Humphrey's hot sauce it would be lethal! MOL

If mew need a case let us know :D

The Tabbies of Trout Towne  cranbereez....Basil....dood....we hope yur knot....ewe noe...."creator" ...  N all.......?

No, all is well in my world!  I'm safe and sound, I have to be because who knows what wild and unimaginable adventures could pop up at anytime - nudge nudge wink wink - and I mean anytime! MOL

They also offured the most excellante advice fur cooking the kraken:

N amber. posie & humphrey...ya noe....if ya seer de kraken legz at 350 dee greez 
for like 25 minits, de sauce will kinda melt in ta de leg... & it will sorta kinda tastez like......


 Meowmeowmans   And Basil, we wonder what's going to happen with you?

Guy's it's all good, as mew now know -  Neffur fear Basil is here, or somewhere! MOL

and not furgetting

Flynn  - next week dude is the big reveal, hold on .... not long now!  Purromise!

So until next weeks Pirate Q&A, shiver me timbers, get thee a bottle o'nip rum and a hammock, and we'll be seeing mew on the morrow!

   Aharrrrrrrrrrrrrr me hearties and sail the highs sea's safely, until next time

Hearty purrs and salty sea-spray head rubs

Cap'n Basil & the Crew of The Crimson Revenge XOX


  1. Those recipes sound very tasty. Do you have any spare Kraken in the freezer so I can try them for myself?
    Are you kidding me??? I have to wait another week for the big reveal! You do realise I have nearly chewed my claws to the knuckle in anticipation.

    1. No more sleepless night know mew have the answer!!!

    2. Of course we have spare Kraken, we'll DHL mew a box asap! XOX

  2. guys....we iz buzzed happee ta lurn mor about de answerz ta everee onez questshunz....sorree two ewe flynn....

    N we iz thanx full for de menu two day ...we wood like 3 number 5'z pleez and 3 number 8'z pleez N dai$y will payz for them with her charge oh card....

    get it outta that pockit una verse; can ya pleez daiz...♥♥♥

    1. MOL MOL of course mew can have a No: 5 & No: 8 I'll get the chef to get started and no charge at all!!! MOL XOX

  3. So many questions answered- you should leave some mysteries. :)

    1. Sorry guys, we've started so we've got to finish. This is a one time only though as there won't be any reveals after the next adventure, we'll leave mew guessing fur years!!! MOL XOX


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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