Tuesday, 20 September 2016

FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS ~ Revenge of the P.I.T.H ~ Part VI


Featuring our latest mind-blowing, fur-raising, dam-busting, bestest adventure to date!

The Heathen Hoard are on a mission to save Sleepy Hollow and life as they know it, can they do it?

Pawesome greetings supurr pals

And welcome back!

We know this is the post mew've all been waiting fur, so welcome to part VI of our; on-the-edge of your seat, nail-biting, fur-twiddling, tail thrashing, nerve-wracking adventure, and if mew missed any of the previous episodes, here's the catch up links:


A quick recap from the last episode:

"New clip," Parsley yelled as the arachnids screams began to abate just a smidge.

"Me too!" Smooch yelled back and tossed a clip across the aisle.  

There were two clicking sounds and then bullets continued to puncture the sizzling, burning spider.  I watched as they advanced closer, jumping down onto lower boxes and closer still until till they were firing at nearly point-blank range. 

The air was filled with gun-smoke, hot metal, toasted rotten arachnid and fear.

Several empty clips later Smooch yelled. "Do mew think its dead?"

We were all a bit deaf from the concussive gunfire sound.

"What?" I shouted.

"Do mew think its dead?" Smooched yelled again.

I was just about to prod it with a long stick I'd found when it lurched forward.  Parsley had just reloaded and unleashed the whole clip into the arachnids head.  It slumped to the floor and twitched a couple of times before it melted into a big black and green puddle releasing a plume of the most disgusting smelling gas as its final farewell.   

"It is now!" Parsley grinned as he lowered his gun.

We backed away, as the smell was too vile fur wurds and we needed some fresh air.  A few minutes passed and our hearing slowly returned to semi-normal, well at least we weren't shouting anymore.

"Dude, we annihilated Shelob's really ugly relation!" Parsley smirked. "That was rarest thing I've done so far, high-five Smooch!"

They slapped and then bumped their paws together. 

"Yeah man, that was freaking pawesome!" Smooch agreed as he turned to me. "Basil can we take one of those flame throwers home?"

I grinned and laughed. "We've already got five back in the bunker!"

"Nice!" Smooch and Parsley said together.

"I think we'd better release Dwight and his yard-dudes before I call this one in," I said wundering how I was going to explain this to C.J. then I wundered what C.J. was doing on Level 8 with Horice. 'I bet he's sunning himself on a really comfy lounger drinking a coconut niptini, lucky flocker!'

"Give me a few moments," Parsley said and scampered off. He was back in no-time and said. "Yep we can get them down now."

I gave him a quizzical look and asked. "Do I want to know what mew just did?"

Parsley gave me his toothiest grin saying, "Smooch, mew and me dude can take whateffur we want, and Dwight says thanks!"

"Oh hell no!" I said.

*    *    *

Meantime back in the bunker.

The comms channel crackled in the control room and Snowie almost jumped out of her fur.

Humphrey said. "Control this is Purredator One come in."

"Copy Purredator One, this is Control," Snowie answered.

"I've just spotted five hostiles heading towards Sleepy Hollow, I repeat five hostiles on the move!" Humphrey whispered and the line went dead. 

** And Cut **

Part VI

Arms, Ammo, Trucks and The Air Force!

'And Action!'

It took us a few minutes to locate a crane small enough to fit in the shed and then find some straps to secure them too as we hoisted the weasel dudes and Dwight safely to the ground.

"Were going to need a knife," I said pointing. "To cut these cocoons off."

Smooch whipped out a small bowie knife, the blade glinting in the soft light.

"Mew call that a knife?" Parsley snorted with laughter as he slowly unsheathed his own ten inch blade. "Now this is a knife!"   He smirked and sliced it through the air like Zorro with his sword.

The cocooned weasels all gulped audibly as Parsley strode towards them wielding the blade; the next thirty seconds happened in a complete blur as Parsley cut the weasels free with his mad ninja-knife-skills.

"Woah!" Smooch breathed in awe. "Have mew been practicing Parsley?"

Parsley gave us his toothiest grin and replied. "It's amazing what tutorials mew can find on YouTube!"

I shook my head and thought. 'Oh my cod, whateffur next!'  

Dwight was sat on the floor trembling as he took several deep breaths, his yard dudes were equally traumatized by their ordeal and Smooch handed them some water and some nibbly-nip snack bars. 

"Dwight," I said aftur a few moments. "What happened dude?"

Dwight's eyes were as big a saucers as he spoke. "It was those vermin squirrels Basil, they ambushed us in the office yesterday while we were having a tea break..." he paused as he took a sip of water. "Then that freaking freak big-ass spider sprayed with some green goo and then next thing I knew I woke up hanging from the rafters with my yard dudes."

"Yeah!" said a yard dude his voice shaking. "I've neffur been so scared in all my life... I couldn't move, scream or do anything..." he paused. "Actually I did do something... I'm going to go get a hose and have a wash!"

Smooch gave him a sympathetic smile and helped him up. "Come on," he said gently. "Anypurrdy else need a hose down?"

The three other yard dudes made a move and followed Smooch outside.

Parsley and I remained as Dwight continued. "Those freaking nutty squirrels took effurything they could carry and stole one of the armoured Saracens and just took off leaving us at the mercy of the big-ass arachnid freak!"

"Not good!" Parsley murmured.

"I thought mew'd sold me out Dwight!" I said.

The weasel looked at me sadly. "Basil, I would neffur sell mew out buddy, mew were my furst effur customer and have remained my best customer to this day," he took a breath and sighed deeply. "I'm so sorry that all this happened... those vermin pests got into my computer and took all of info off and that's how they must have found mew!"

I nodded.

"But mew will neffur know how thankful I am that mew turned up today, because if mew hadn't," Dwight paused. "We'd all have ended up like Scruff."

We turned and looked at the pile of red icky goop on the concrete floor.

"May mew rest in peace Scruff," I said solemnly saluting to the remains of yard dude number five.

"Oh he was my best mechanic," Dwight sighed sadly, wiping a tear from his eye. "How will I tell his missus about this?"

"Dwight, mew will find the right wurds at the right time dude," I said softly.

Dwight wiped his eyes and sniffled loudly.  "Your two young cadets are some rare fighting force, they were merciless" Dwight said quickly changing the subject. "And that was genius to get the flame thrower Basil!"

I shrugged and Parsley gave him a gentle smile.

"We did what anypurrdy else would have done," I answered.

Dwight shook his head. "No Basil, anypurrdy else would have run and left us to be spidey snaks!" he answered resolutely. "Mew have honour, not many of us left with that trait today."

I nodded. "This is true Dwight, we are a rare breed boardering on extinction."

"Look, I know it's no consolation but I am truly sorry that those squirels found mew because of your connection with me and I'll do anything to make it up to mew," said Dwight.

"Dwight, dude, buddy, mew were sadly a victim... or fur want of a better wurd a pawn in the P.I.T.H.'s game to get to me," I sighed heavily. "And mew lost one of your bestest yard dudes due to their hatred fur me, but I will avenge Scruff and I vow to mew that if it's that last thing I do I'll take those P.I.T.H.-heads down and bury them!"

Dwight nodded. "I know mew will."

"Yeah," Parsley said. "Dwight those P.I.T.H.-heads are toast dude, I'll make certain of it!"

Dwight and Parsley paw-bumped and Parsley gave him a vicious smile that freaked the fur off me.

I thought to myself, 'I must put some purrental controls on YouTube when this is all offur!' 

At that moment Smooch appeared with the remaining yard dudes, all smelling a lot fresher than before.

"What's happening?" he asked.

Dwight suddenly grinned and said. "I think mew need to come with me!"

We walked down the aisle and past the fetid steaming-gooey remains of Shelob's great, great, great, great, etc... grand-spider and arrived at the secret door where I'd been only a short time ago.  He swung the door open and we entered the room I'd took the flame thrower from earlier.  Parsley and Smooch couldn't believe their eyes when they saw all the weaponry.

"OH MY COD!" Smooch breathed in awe as he scanned the room. "I want that one... that one... this one... some of those... that one.... OH MY COD I want all of them!" he pointed like a cat possessed at all the firearms.

"Yeah, what he said!" Parsley added. "We'll take it all Dwight!"

The weasel laughed and said. "Guys take the lot and go raise hell with my blessing!" Dwight then yelled to his yard dudes. "Axel, Blade, Bogey & Finch come get all these weapons and get plently of ammo fur my pawesome furriends!"

A few minutes later we were out in the compound and Smooch immediately ran towards a fire engine.

"Whoooaaaa!"  I exclaimed. "That's pawesome!"

Smooch and Parsley were on it, in it and all offur it in seconds, and before I knew what was happening they were careening around the compound with the lights flashing and siren blaring with Parsley hanging off the back whooping like a crazed kitty.

"I think they like that one!" I laughed and made a mental note to check what else Parsley had been watching on Youtube.

"Seems so," Dwight chuckled.

The freebie shopping frenzy continued...

... until I finally said. "Guy's enough we have to go asap, remember Humphrey's MIA and Snowie is freaking out?"

The two heathens looked at me like I was the biggest pawty-pooper in the known cosmos.

"Awwwwwww Basil, mew're no fun!" Smooch complained.

"Yeah," agreed Parsley. "We were just getting warmed up!"

Dwight grinned at me and said. "Mew two can come have a weekend with me and the yards dudes aftur mew've dealt with eh P.I.T.H-heads, ok?"

Smooch and Parsley beamed excitedly. "Really, a whole weekend with guns, tanks, armoured vehicles and effurything?"

"Sure thing!" Dwight answered. "My compound is your compound and I'll get the fire engine, trucks and jeep plus the surplus weapons and ammo put on a low-loader and delivered in a couple of days ok?"

They nodded happily, in fact mew could almost feel the happies radiating from them.

"And the hummer is filled to the brim with as many weapons as Axel and the guys could fit in with the ammo too of course!" Dwight added.

Dwight and I paw-bumped as I climbed into the hummer.  "Thanks dude," I said. "I'll be in touch and organise the weekend fur the heathens."

"See mew soon Dwight and get the 50 cal ready!" Smooch said.

"Yeah and the uzi's and H and K's, not fugetting the AK's too!" Parsley added.

Dwight and the yard dudes waved as drove off and I said. "Are mew two happy now?"

They turned and grinned at me like Cheshire cats. "Oh we sure are!" they said in unison.

We'd just pulled out onto the main road when my comms unit buzzed.

"Basil, Basil, come in!" Snowie said urgently.

"Snowie are mew ok?" I answered as icily tendrils of dread made my hackles rise.

"Basil we've got a situation," Snowie replied, her voice tense.

"Go ahead," I replied.

"I've just heard from Humphrey and we've got five hostiles closing fast," she pause. "I repeat five hostiles closing fast!"

I took a moment before I said. "Where's Humphrey?"

"Purredator One is following them but he's out numbered!" Snowie answered.

This was not good, because if I knew Humphrey five to one odds were just playtime fur him... in his mind... "Oh flip!" I replied. "How long till they breach the Sleepy Hollow border?"

"Ten minutes tops!" Snowie answered.

I thought about this fur a second as my paw pressed the accelerator all the way down to the floor. "We can't get back in time, we're still about forty minutes away!" I said, my voice edgy.

"What are we going to do?" Snowie asked, her voice was almost a squeak.

"Where's Amber?"

"She's getting weaponed up?" Snowie replied.

"Good, now get C.J. and tell him what's happening, he'll help," I said. "I need to make a call and I'll be right back!"

I cut the connection with a tap of my paw.  Smooch and Parsley looked at me with trepidation. "What's happening Basil?"

I relayed the info to them as quickly as I could and they began to bristle. "So what now?" Parsley asked.

"I need to make this call!" I said and tapped my phone.

A moment later I heard ringing.

Ring ring... ring ring... ring ring...

"You have reached Air Base Delta, how may I help you?" a voice said.

"This is Sleeper Agent Basil Widdairs number, two-seven-nine-three-five-eight I need air assistance right now!" I said urgently.

There was a pause on the line as I waited fur confirmation.

I was driving like a maniac when the voice said. "Agent Basil we have confirmed your identity and location, where do you need air support?"

"Sleepy Hollow!" I almost growled as my agitation got the better of me. "Let me hand mew to my next in command and he'll give mew the co-ordinates."

Smooch and Parsley both grappled fur the phone. "But I'm number two!" Smooch griped as Parsley grabbed the phone.

I shook my head in dismay.

"This is Agent Basil's number two," Parsley said smoothly. "Mew can call me Purredator."

"Go ahead Purredator," the voice replied.

"The co-ordianates are..." Parsley said rambling off the longitude and latitude from memory.

"Copy that Purredator," the voice replied. "Do you need air strike?"

"Do we need air strike?" Parsley asked me.

"Only if the P.I.T.H. attacks furst," I answered as I overtook another Sunday driver. "We don't really want to turn Sleepy Hollow into a civilian war zone if we can help it, but those squirrels are capable of anything right now!"

"Air Base Delta we require repeated fly offur until hostiles retreat," Parsley said. "Air strike only if hostiles attack furst, I repeat air strike only if hostiles attack furst."

"Copy that," the voice said. "Five fighter jets have been deployed eta in six minutes and thirty seconds."

I took a deep breath as I careened around several more Sunday drivers.  Tapping my comms unit I said. "Snowie are mew there?"

"Basil I'm here, Amber is up-top and C.J. is getting armed to the teeth, even Horice is out!" she answered.

"I have air support coming, they will be with mew in just offur five minutes," I said quickly. "They will only fire if the P.I.T.H attack, so try not to engage as hopefully when they see my old air force crew they'll retreat."

"Copy that," Snowie said.

"Where's Humphrey?"  I asked.

"He's gone dark!" she answered.

My heart sank at that because knowing Humphrey the way I do could only mean one thing, he was planning an ambush which was really, really, really bad news!

"Is there any way to contact him?" I said urgently, as a brainwave hit me like a shovel in the face. "Wait, get one of the robotic pigeons and send it with a message to him, telling him not to engage in a fire fight and do it now, because if he starts shooting, the fighter jets are going to unleash hell."

I heard Snowie's gulp and she squeaked. "Copy that, I'm on it!"

Gripping the steering wheel tighter I clenched my teeth and drove like a cat out of hell.

** And Cut **

It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole week to wait?!! Again & again & again!!

Jeez, how lucky are Smoochie and Parsley to get all those new toys?

Were mew really a fighter pilot?

What's it like to fly a fighter jet?

Was your pilot name Top Cat?

Where will mew put all the new trucks and jeep?

How cool is that fire engine, can we come fur a drive?

What's a H and K gun?

Will mew really let Parsley and Smooch go to Dwight's fur the weekend?

Is Horice going use his mystical powers?

Does C.J. have field training?


We're sure mew purrobably have many more but to be honest we can't think of any right now as we've got to get back to Sleepy Hollow like yesterday before it becomes an Armageddon war-zone!

Many thanks fur joining us today and don't furget to come back next Tuesday fur Part VII

Until then


Bestest purrs

Agent Basil & The Heathen Hoard

[Copyright: Hummer Image StockPhotosLV & Bunker images used under license from Shutterstock.com]


  1. Oh my mouses! OH MY MOUSES! Your adventure series is back. YAY!!!

    I've gotta tell ya Basil, you must have a whole different breed of weasels in the UK. 'Round here, they're all mobbed up and whatnot with the Weasel Syndicate. Oh, I do business with 'em, all right, but I've gotta watch my back, for sure. MOUSES!


    1. Seville dude, yes it's back - WOO HOO!!!! Yep them weasels are a rare breed fur sure, what your back buddy!!! XOX

  2. OMC! I hope Snowie can contact Humphrey before it's too late. I am so envious that Parsley and Smooch get a weekend with all those weapons and vehicles. Do you think you could get me a special pass to join them too? I always fancied driving a fire engine!

    1. Flynn dude, mew can come with us anytime, anywhere, mew know that buddy! All mew have to do ask :D XOX

  3. humphrey ....dood.....we hope ta cod ewe iz safe even if ewe iz gettin reddy ta am bush coz basil in hiz fran tix state oh mind just sended....

    ...yur way ......

    we pawz fora moe mint oh purrayer

    deer cod:

    pleez help R palz


    pee ess...we say take 7 fire trux next time.... just coz ~~~~~~~~~

    awesum storee again guys...veree well werth de 5 monthz wait ~~ ☺☺☺♥♥♥

    1. Tabbies, dudes and Miss Dai$y. thank mew most kindly fur the prayer, it really means a lot! And so glad mew enjoying our epic adventure, and just wait til next week, we were only warming mew up this week!!! MOL MOL XOX

  4. Heck, I almost missed this! Episode part the V is AWESOME! I am soo very worried about Humph though, and you guys are going to be in real trouble if you trash the village too! Oh my, Basil, I am having kittens, AGAIN! purrs ERin (ps, not literally as I cant now!)

    1. Hey Erin, neffur fear we're always here!! MOL who knew we could rhyme?!? MOL XOX

  5. What a pawsome story ! We had to read ALL the parts, what a suspense ! Purrs

    1. Hiya Swiss Cats, so purrleased mew caught up on all the action, and just wait til next weeks episode it'll make your tingle and tail quiver fur sure!!! MOL XOX

  6. Replies
    1. Guys, OMC how will mew cope with next weeks episodes then? We suggest having a little nip pawty before mew read it, get in that chill zone furst!!! MOL MOL XOX


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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