CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma **HELP!!! I DON'T WANT TO MOVE!!!**

 Welcome to 

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry

BSc (Hons) Headology  

Psy.D. Furry Logic

 MS. Fuzzy Logic

MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master

AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

This is one of my cases via email:

**HELP! I Don't Want To Move!**

Dear Dr Basil

Purrlease help as I have a despurrate dilemma, my hooman has just announced that we are moving from our nice cosy city apartment into a house with a garden in the middle of Nowheresville. Now, while all this might sound peachy, I’m a city cat, not a country cat. I don’t do outdoors, the most outdoorsy thing I do is sit on the window ledge and watch the pigeons that sit on the sill or fire escape.  

How can I stop this monstrous moving event from taking place?  He says it will be good for me, that I’ll be able to go outside on my own (ON MY OWN – if mew purrlease  - with NO chaperone in all that green stuff!) and explore the wilderness of the garden, getting up close and far too purrsonal with nature and all its beasties, bugs and beings previously unknown to me.  

As mew can tell, I’m not an adventurous type, the most adventure I’ve ever encountered was watching the National Geographic Channel on TV, and that was way too much for me!  Help me, I DON’T DO OUTSIDE!

He's even been taunting me with photos of the new place!!!

Yours beyond despurrate

Pinxton Pieface

(Address withheld)

This is my Expert Reply

Notice how I use the colour green to instil calm and invoke soothing sensations associated with nature and the great outdoors, thereby sending a positive message that GREEN IS GOOD!

Dear Pinxton

My goodness, mew have got your fur in a flap. Purrlease take a deep breath and calm yourself.  Mew have to get a grip as short of a miracle mew will be moving!  So rather than living in denial, I am offering mew hope and a way to cope with this experience that is being pushed at mew faster than a hurricane of hungry hounds.

In my expert opinion, mew are suffering from an acute case of:  F.O.T.G.O.D. (Or Fear of the Great Outdoors.)  This is not unusual or unheard of in City Kitties who have never experienced actual outside or nature up close and purrsonal.  While it may seem rather overwhelming and distressing right now, I can assure mew that there is nothing to be scared of, apart from the larger predators, but where mew will be moving to, these won’t be present in your nice safe garden, so mew can put that thought right out of your furry little brainbox.

I have been living in the countryside for many years now, and find it to be most harmonious and rather exhilarating at times, it's very Yin and Yang. However, while mew are feeling overtly distressed and anxious I recommend the following to help alleviate your concerns, as your hooman is going to be taking mew whether mew like it or not.

Here’s my plan of recommendation prior to the move:

1.     In the first instance, gently increase your exposure to Nature via the TV or full-colour magazines. Start out small, only a few minutes a day, until mew feel able to handle more.

2.     Whilst sitting on the magazines imagine mew are immersing yourself in the picture, feel the wind ruffle your fur, hear the trees rustling, listen to the birds singing, feel the sun warming your fur, the bees are buzzing, and mew are right there, in it and also watching it all safe and sound from your living room. This is Nature by Osmosis – N.B.O.  Remember mew are in a safe environment, and mew are in control at all times. If mew feel uncomfortable at any time, just stop and try again later.

3.     As mew feel more confident, increase the amount of time mew watch nature programmes or just sit on nature. Let your imagination wander further, see yourself interacting with the flora and fauna, climb the tree, flex your claws this is your new scratching post, use it and really feel the sensations of the bark under your claws. Chase that leaf that just fluttered down from the tree, take a big leap of faith and launch yourself towards the Flutterby, chirrup at the birdies up in the trees and hear the small rodents scurrying about in the thick undergrowth. Mew see there is nothing to be anxious about: - Keep breathing deeply and repeat the mantra: - All is fuzzy, warm and fluffy in my world – because it is.

Once mew feel comfortable with steps 1 to 3 we can move on to the final stage.

4.     Now, this step is for after mew have moved residences and are feeling confident in your new surroundings. Mew have still been doing Steps 1 through 3 on a daily basis after the move, along with the breathing exercises and the mantra in Step 3 – All is fuzzy, warm and fluffy in my world.  This is where you go:  F.AT.I. or Full and Total Immersion. 

F.A.T.I.  means actual outside - I want mew to do this with your hooman present until mew feel at ease in your new outdoor surroundings. If mew have a house with a porch, I suggest mew start there and slowly increase your exposure to nature one paw at a time. If at any time mew feel anxious, nervous, overwhelmed or feel any kind of fear at all, I want mew to close your eyes immediately and visualise yourself sitting back on the magazine, just picturing that mew are back in your apartment safe and sound, while concentrating on your breathing. Once mew feel sufficiently calm, open your eyes again and see how mew feel. If mew feel no better, return indoors and try again tomorrow.

Going full-on F.A.T.I . is a huge step and will take some time, but if mew keep trying mew will soon find out that nature is NICE, and mew will wonder what all the fuss was about.

Pinxton, I do hope that  your Cats have Purroblems Too appointment has helped mew, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me!

Yours most sincerely

Dr. Basil

@ The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.

_______________________________

If mew can relate to Pinxton's problem or feel that mew need any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil with your dilemma or email me directly, and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a brand new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr on

Dr Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ M.S. ~ M.A. 

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