Wednesday 26 May 2021
**TOP SECRET - CLASSIFIED B TEAM FILES **2016 REVISITED** FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS ~ REVENGE OF THE P.I.T.H ~ Part IX The Penultimate Episode
**TOP SECRET - DO NOT READ WITHOUT CLEARANCE**
CLASSIFIED B TEAM FILES
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Pawesome Wednesday greetings supurr pals
Welcome to Part IX and the penultimate episode of our epically epic and rather explosive report ~ only available here, fur your eyes only in the CFR [Classified File Room], and if mew missed any reports, here are the links:
The Wurld Stood Still & Then It Didn't
My claws were sunk deep into Parsley's rig as I clung on to him with all the strength I could muster, and believe me when I say, that pussy is not a lightweight; he's solid muscle from the end of his tail to the tip of his nose. In fact, he's like the Ernie Schwarzafluffer of the cat-wurld. He takes his fitness, nutrition and training furry seriously, wurking out in the high-tech gym in the bunker effuryday and making sure he's a honed and toned specimen of uber manly-catness.
Anyhoo I'm digressing; clinging to Parsley as the ground loomed closer and closer, I tried to pull the clip on my reserve chute again, and this time the pull-cord wurked. I felt the parachute in my rig begin to deploy when in the next breath we stopped falling, like completely stopped moving. The ground wasn't getting any closer and there was no rushing air around us.
Eerily there was no sound either, all the explosions above us were suspended mid-air not getting any bigger or even dissipating, just flaming orange globes lighting the sky in silence. It took me a moment to get a handle on going from a gazillion miles an hour straight down to a dead stop with no adverse effects.
We just hung there, in a state of total inertia with the ground about fifty feet below us. I gulped and tried to move but found I couldn't. I couldn't even turn my head to look at Parsley and at that moment I wished I had telepathic skills. Casting my gaze downwards I spied Horice with Humphrey in the courtyard and that's when I saw the strange blue light emanating from around Horice and I knew at that juncture he'd used his magick ju-ju to stop effurything, and my hope returned with a vigour I thought was lost.
I then noticed a huge black inflatable cushion covering most of the lawn directly beneath us and smiled inwardly, as relief cascaded offur me in all kinds of wunderpurr ways.
* * *
"Horice dude, mew're a genius," Humphrey said.
"Aye, that be so," Horice chuckled. "But we still be 'aving a problem Purredator One, when I let the stasis field go it'll all be the same as it was before, all I be doing is prolonging the inevitable and now there be only me and thee that can change the future, everything and everyone else is stopped in this time dilation."
Humphrey's brow creased as he stared at Amber who was frozen mid-scream a few feet away, then at the drama-filled sky, fighter jets, explosions and falling comrades all on an indefinite pause. "Aye that does be posing a purroblem," he replied thoughtfully as he ran scenario aftur scenario offur in his mind, each one resulting in the result they were trying to prevent.
They stood in silence, time neither passing nor events changing.
"What about..." Humphrey began, his whiskers suddenly twitching with excitement. "What about if we use the orb, mew know the little one Basil brought back with him from the island, maybe if we threw it at them it would encase them in a bubble?"
Horice pondered this as the calming blue light pulsed gently from the huge sapphire on his third eye. "Aye now ye be thinking," he said with a wry smile. "That orb be a special gift with many special properties, but we still be 'aving the problem that it will be impossible to throw anything into the stasis field, it would just stop dead in its tracks."
In Humphrey's mind a little seed of an idea rose up and he said. "Horice, get the orb."
* * *
The P.I.T.H. were stood just inside the tree line as the fighter jets unleashed hell, with a missile strike that was like nothing they'd effur expected,
The ground exploded all around them and was suddenly on fire; mud and clods of earth were flying in effury direction as the missiles blew upon impact with deafening precision. Thick grey smoke began to plume and Snitch suddenly took off, scampering fur all he was wurth deeper into the trees leaving his troops behind. There was another huge explosion a nano-second later, trees shattered from the force with branches and burning debris blasted in all directions as he was caught in the fall-out and catapulted through the air.
The Bazooka Brothers, Ace and Scooter also caught in the fall-out, were hurtling through the air mid blast when everything stopped.
* * *
Horice closed his eyes, an air of intense concentration emanating from him and the huge jewel began to glow brighter and brighter. Then there was an almighty popping sound, the courtyard went pitch-black like all the light had been sucked away and was replaced with an ebony velveteen filter, the air was charged with an extraordinary power that if mew squinted and tilted your vision sideways mew could almost see it dancing like tiny twinkling dust motes in the inky blackness. All at once, the small orb appeared in a dazzling show of radiant light.
Chills ran down Humphrey's back and he could feel his paws tingling as he reached out rather gingerly while it hovered just in front of him.
Horice sensing his apprehension said. "Purredator One don't ye be afraid, thee orb knows mew need its help and is willing to serve thee, all ye need to do is hold it and think of what mew want it to do,"
Humphrey couldn't see a thing in the blinding light as he let his paws connect with the weird and wunderpurr artefact. His pads buzzed with energy as he gently squeezed the orb realizing it was soft and malleable under his touch; not a hard, solid object and that's when he felt its pulse. Like a beating heart, rhythmic and strong, getting louder and louder as he concentrated his thoughts with laser-like focus on what he needed.
The rhythmic beating increased until Humphrey couldn't hear himself think and he had to let go suddenly. His paws came away with a soft popping and squelching sound and at that precise moment, the darkness was replaced by daylight and time began to run again.
* * *
I watched from my lofty position as Humphrey and Horice seemed to be engaged in a rather intense conversation and wundered what on earth was happening when completely out of the blue effurything went black. I blinked a few times but could see nothing and in the next moment, it was like someone had turned the lights on and to my horror, I could feel the rush of the wind as we continued our heart-lurching descent. The intense relief I'd felt only an instant earlier was ripped away with devastating force.
My chute deployed too late to save us and was flapping like a giant red and white streamer as we plunged down, and at this point what else could I do, so I screamed like a gurl.
Closing my eyes as the ground was only a second away I gulped and prayed fur a miracle, any kind of a miracle.
And then it happened.
We were one-tenth of a moment away from Splats-Ville Arizona when it felt like we were hit with an incredible force from the side, the breath whooshed out of my lungs as I began to somersault offur and offur. Trying hard to keep hold of Parsley the parachute began to wrap around us like a giant sheet as we were propelled upwards away from the ground.
Parsley yelled, "What the flip, weren't we going fast enough already... is that why we're going back up to make sure the jobs finished propurrly?"
We were trussed up tighter than a turkey on Catmas Day in my reserve chute as we began to slow and fall back towards the ground, it was at that moment I realized I couldn't feel the cold air rushing past me and I fought to understand why as my eyes darted in all directions and that's when I saw it.
We were floating in the middle of a giant iridescent bubble that was gently drifting towards the garden. Ethereal light shimmered like rainbows sprinkled with diamonds across the surface of our rescue orb as we descended and landed with a soft bump on the giant inflatable cushion. We bounced lightly twice and then the bubble burst with a soft pop and we were left lying on the huge cushion.
I could hear Amber wailing, Humphrey and Smooch shouting as they ran towards us and clambered on the cushion, losing their balance and toppling on top of us. The air whooshed out of my lungs again and I choked out, "Mew guys are the best." As tears of relief began to slip from my eyes and I tried to sniff back all the emotions that wanted to burst out of me.
I heard Parsley grunt and I realized I was squashing him face furst into the rubber cushion. Smooch whipped out his small knife and said between gasping sobs, "Don't mew guys effur do that to me again, don't mew effur leave me! Purromise me mew won't leave me!"
Humphrey stood up on the wobbly cushion, fell offur and stood up again. "That was so close Basil," his voice cracked and filled with emotion. "And like Smooch said, don't mew guys effur leave us or do anything that stupid again!"
Smooch began to carefully cut us out of the parachute in between wiping tears of relief from his face, and a few minutes later we were all on solid ground. Amber rushed up to us and cuffed me and Parsley around the ears. Snowie appeared in the next moment and did exactly the same. They were both still crying, as they reprimanded us and hugged us and reprimanded us some more and then hugged us some more. And to be honest the relief I felt was so immense I didn't mind the ear-bashing fur one second.
Parsley gave me a look and said, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Basil thank mew fur coming to save me."
I nodded and patted him gently on the shoulder. "Dude," I replied, clearing my throat as it was thick with emotion. "Mew would have done the same fur me."
Horice ambled towards us and gave me a wink. I smiled back and saluted him, guessing that he'd been the main catalyst in our unbelievable rescue.
It was then I noticed the ground was shaking beneath my paws and I could hear the heavy barrage of gunfire in the distance.
Posie appeared in that instant and said urgently. "Guys mew've got to get mobile asap, mew'll neffur believe what's happening!"
** And Cut **
It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!
OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole day to wait?!!
OH MY COD!!!!!
OH MY COD!!!!! OH MY COD!!!!!
Mewton-Clawson is a war zone, how are mew going to stop it?
What was it like to be in that giant bubble?
How scared were mew when mew saw the ground looming up?
What is that little orb?
And where did mew get it?
How did it feel to be suspended in the air?
Has it put mew off flying fur good?
What will mew do with the giant inflatable cushion?
Where has Posie been fur the last couple of episodes?
We're sure mew purrobably have many more but to be honest we can't think of any right now as things have just exploded in a whole new way!
Many thanks fur joining us fur our epic re-run of
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Don't furget to sneak back into the CLASSIFIED FILE ROOM next week for Part X and the Grande Finale of our adventure
DON'T GO OUT OF THE GARDEN!!!
Click here to go to the final report in Episode 10 - link coming soon
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