My other Professional Credits include:
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.
Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:
Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
This is one of my cases via email:
1. When Shane is at home alone, make sure mew are with him at all times. No getting in his face though, shadow him in stealth or take turns between the five of mew, get a rota happening. But don’t put the rota on the fridge otherwise the hoomans will know something’s up.2. Only go out for brief periods and come back and check on him, sit with him and be supportive.3. Stop going out all night painting the town red and rebel rousing. When they go to bed, mew all go to bed. Make sure mew and the crew get down the centre of the bed. Mew must become an impenetrable feline wall of fluff. If Sheila complains or tries to move mew, hold fast, don’t break the line. This is vital.4. Stay there all night, no matter what. If one of mew does get moved, another needs to fill the gap instantly, mew need to be fully co-ordinated.5. Make sure Sheila wakes up with one of mew on the pillow with her.6. Make sure Shane wakes up with one of mew on the pillow with him.(Paws on the face and/or head is purrfectly acceptable in points 5. & 6. However do not engage in any hair biting or pulling, as this will severely weaken your new strategy).7. If they wake whilst mew are in the middle of any covert operations do this immediately: As soon as they start to stir make sure mew all start to purr in purrfect synchronicity, just a low soothing hum, the one that reverberates through all living things on a frequency undetected by normal hooman senses. This is an incredibly soothing sound should have them back in Snoresville before mew can say, Feed Me!8. When they do wake in the morning, ideally make sure that you’re full of beans and meowing, really get that pitch up and let them know mew’re all there. Hopefully, after a few days of this treatment, Sheila will start to warm up to mew guys. To win with Shane, win over Sheila. Be supurr nice to her. This will have two effects: