Welcome to
Happy Monday, furry floofers
Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone.
And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived.
But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.
Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:
Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry
BSc (Hons) Headology
Psy.D. Furry Logic
MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense
My other Professional Credits include:
NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.
Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:
Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties
Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility
ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense
Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com
So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.
This is one of my cases via email:
Misunderstood and Needing Assistance!
Dear Dr Basil,
I need advice, and rumour has it you give it for free. I’m a purebred Turkish Van with a blue ribbon history that never ceases to impress my subordinates. My DNA traces back to Noah’s Ark when Mrs Noah insisted on taking not just two Turkish Vans, but seven pairs of my breed. That’s why the HippoSpiders and very cuddly GorillaBears got left behind. No room!
Lately, I’ve been feeling unappreciated by my roommates. I don’t think of them as fursibs cuz they’re ex-colony strays, so far from my class they’re in another zip code. I can understand their jealousy, but they have no respect for the culture and worldliness I could teach them.
Just yesterday I pointed out to Candy that eating too much kibble is putting a strain on the seams of her Calico catsuit, but she just kept eating like they were going to stop making food tomorrow.
Then there was the time I noticed Opie having a hard time jumping from the floor to the couch. I said, “Dude, what’s taking you so long?” and he said he has arthritis in his back legs which makes it hard to jump. So I put the bitey on his bottom. Not only did he not thank me, but he screamed for Mom, and I got sent to my room to <makes paw quotes> think about what I did. Pffft!
So, to get to the point of why I’m writing to you… I need advice on which author photo to use for my autobiography, Diary of a Mad House Cat, out next year. Should I go with fun-loving and obnoxious, or brooding with a touch of psychosis?
Sincerely,
Rabbit
Photo 1.
This is my Expert Reply
Today I use the colour orange, as this is renowned for its creative thought processes, and I feel this week's purroblem needs an awful lot of thought, especially considering the historic lineage! Therefore being the purrfect choice for this particular purroblem.
Dear Rabbit
First let me say, I totally understand your dilemma of coming from such epically epic ancestry dating back to biblical times, that in itself is truly a heavy burden to carry through the eons, and also the fact that your ancestors inadvertently saved us from some mighty peculiar creatures, aka the HippoSpiders and very cuddly GorillaBears!
Coming from a long and noble lineage myself, dating back to Roman times and the epoch of Emporer Caticus Ceasar, I fully appreciate the exponential burdens and frustrations thrust upon you in modern times, as that amount of breeding is truly a hard path to follow. Especially when those ancestors are never far away judging us even harsher than a panel on Caturday Nights, Strictly Come Pouncing!
And with such a prestigious lineage comes great power, a power that must be harnessed and tamed for the greater good of catkind. This in itself is an extremely testing scenario that cats like us must work daily on, and strive for the betterment of all.
While it can be frustrating, and wholly inconvenient, cats such as us with immense obligation and duty thrust upon us by merely being born from such prestigious lineages must lead by example, and not expect our counterparts in the modern age to understand the untold pressure we find ourselves living in this lifetime, and perhaps in subsequent lifetimes too.
And for a young cat such as yourself, this may be purrticulary challenging, especially since your ancestors have evidently forgotten to pass down the fabled book of; A Turkish Vans Guide to Living in The Now, which I must add should have appeared at the time of birth under the celestial code of conduct for kittens of your exceptional lineage entering this purrticular timeline.
And with such a prestigious lineage comes great power, a power that must be harnessed and tamed for the greater good of catkind. This in itself is an extremely testing scenario that cats like us must work daily on, and strive for the betterment of all.
While it can be frustrating, and wholly inconvenient, cats such as us with immense obligation and duty thrust upon us by merely being born from such prestigious lineages must lead by example, and not expect our counterparts in the modern age to understand the untold pressure we find ourselves living in this lifetime, and perhaps in subsequent lifetimes too.
And for a young cat such as yourself, this may be purrticulary challenging, especially since your ancestors have evidently forgotten to pass down the fabled book of; A Turkish Vans Guide to Living in The Now, which I must add should have appeared at the time of birth under the celestial code of conduct for kittens of your exceptional lineage entering this purrticular timeline.
That in itself is a failing, and utter travesty of monumental proportions on their part, and as your ancestors missed that divine window to deliver and impart this vital and necessary guide, mew have been left to flounder alone, with little understanding in an era of which is evidently tremendously hard for mew to navigate, and for others to generally misunderstand your actions.
These failings, to administer and orchestrate your divine path as written in the stars is undeniably a fault of the extremely higher ups, and I can tell mew unequivocally that I have received a divine download from the upper echelons within The Council at The Rainbow Realm, who imparted most implicitly that the failure to deliver your guide book was because they were having a GIANT PAWTY celebrating your birth, and sadly were so inebriated that they missed the divine moment.
They do however send their utmost apologies and also added, “Don’t worry dude, just keep muddling through, it’ll all be ok in the end!”
Now while I appreciate this doesn’t help your purrsonal situation, and the feelings of exponential frustration and dissatisfaction mew are currently experiencing. I can wholly suggest that mew accept this heinous oversight and bury it deep in the litter box, as dwelling too deeply on matters and circumstances such as this, only leads to more upset and disscatisfaction.
Accept it with good grace, and know that their failings to deliver this book essentially frees mew from the grip of the ancestral code or any obligations which have been lurking within your soul like a giant cloud of unexplained doom and irritation constricting your soul's purpose.
Let me say it like this, mew are now a free and liberated cat, able to choose your own destiny without any interference or constrictions from the ancestors, and I see that mew have begun the process by writing your own book, and to answer your question, my purrsonal feeling is photo one for the cover, fun-loving and obnoxious all the way!
These failings, to administer and orchestrate your divine path as written in the stars is undeniably a fault of the extremely higher ups, and I can tell mew unequivocally that I have received a divine download from the upper echelons within The Council at The Rainbow Realm, who imparted most implicitly that the failure to deliver your guide book was because they were having a GIANT PAWTY celebrating your birth, and sadly were so inebriated that they missed the divine moment.
They do however send their utmost apologies and also added, “Don’t worry dude, just keep muddling through, it’ll all be ok in the end!”
Now while I appreciate this doesn’t help your purrsonal situation, and the feelings of exponential frustration and dissatisfaction mew are currently experiencing. I can wholly suggest that mew accept this heinous oversight and bury it deep in the litter box, as dwelling too deeply on matters and circumstances such as this, only leads to more upset and disscatisfaction.
Accept it with good grace, and know that their failings to deliver this book essentially frees mew from the grip of the ancestral code or any obligations which have been lurking within your soul like a giant cloud of unexplained doom and irritation constricting your soul's purpose.
Let me say it like this, mew are now a free and liberated cat, able to choose your own destiny without any interference or constrictions from the ancestors, and I see that mew have begun the process by writing your own book, and to answer your question, my purrsonal feeling is photo one for the cover, fun-loving and obnoxious all the way!
Stay fluffy dude, and mew do mew!
Best of luck,
Yours most sincerely
Dr. Basil
@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.
P.S. Amber can't wait to get her mittens on a copy!
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Today's Moral Code is:
~ Mew do Mew, And Fluff Anypawdy Else ~
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If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.
Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a new case study.
Until then, Keep Calm and Purr
Dr. Basil
Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA
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(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)
(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)
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