Happy Friday, Epic Floofers
Well, I can't believe I'm back for another series; to be honest, I'm a little nervous, slightly overwhelmed and have been given even more responsibility than last year.
If mew remember, last time I was only in charge of the library archive on level 6 in the BBHQ bunker, and if mew missed it, I think mew should click the links below to catch up on all the chaos.
Hopefully this time, it won't be so frenetic, as I will spend my time between level 6 and the main Mewton-Clawson library at BBHQ in the courtyard, and thank cod, the mice have returned from their festival season; they had an epic time at The Festival of Cheddar, before heading to Mousecapade under The Moonlight, and finally to the festival to end all festivals, Gouda-bury! MOL
I did learn a lot last year, even though I got thrown in at the deep end; I survived, and now I'm ready to prove myself as a true stalwart librarian.
Amber's Postcard Communique
I just received my first postcard from Amber; she's on a Grand Italian Tour with the bespoke travel firm Purrfectly Luxurious Jollies. She has her own purrsonal tour guide and 24-hour concierge at her beck and call.
I'm not sure they know what they've let themselves in for!!! MOL
Gordon the Stapler stared with wonder at the scene before Clive the Paperclip said. "Oh, she really is living her best life."
Gordon clicked twice in agreement.
I looked at them both and said, "Mew really miss her don't mew?"
Their silence said everything, and then Gordon stapled the postcard to the noticeboard.
Meet The Library Mice
Each week, I'm going to introduce mew to all the library mice, one at a time
There are nine: Oswald, Snitch, Velvet, Tootles, Ardvaar, Nibbles, Lumie, Chedds and Flora. Oh, and plus one owl, Hootbert, who appeared a few weeks ago on a completely random Tuesday; he flew in and never left.
Oswald ~ Head Library Mouse aka H.L.M.
Official Library Mouse Pawtrait
⭐ A Short Chat with Oswald ~ Head Library Mouse ⭐
Melvyn: Oswald, thank mew for joining me on the Library chat. Our readers are very curious - what exactly does a Head Library Mouse do?
Oswald: Quite a lot, actually. I keep the shelves organised, maintain the scroll index, oversee the Returned Books pile, and ensure the library remains calm, tidy, and pleasantly crumb‑free. Well… mostly crumb‑free.
Melvyn: And mew do it meautifully. What’s your favourite part of the job?
Oswald: The mornings. When the lanterns are warm, the books are quiet, and the library smells faintly of parchment and tea. It’s peaceful. Also, I enjoy helping visitors find exactly the book they didn’t know they needed.
Melvyn: Readers will want to know, what made mew choose the BBHQ library?
Oswald: Oh… well… let’s just say I came from somewhere very different. Somewhere else and somewhere that I was glad to escape. But when I found this place, it felt… right. Warm and alive. Full of stories waiting to be cared for. Amber welcomed me, and I’ve been here ever since.
Melvyn: And we’re very glad mew stayed. Final question: what do mew love most about BBHQ?
Oswald: The sense of family. The B Team, the other library mice, well everypawdy and the books… It's a very special place. It’s a place where even the smallest mouse can make a big difference.
Melvyn: Purrfectly said. Thank mew, Oswald.
FYI: I am working on the Library Mice Origin Story, and will share that in the future when I've collated all the info and backstories from each mouse.
📚 Melvyn's Mewsings: Entry #01
💬 Opening Quote
“If mew think running a library is hard, try doing it with nine mice, an owl, endless enchanted scrolls, an A.I. who's got connection issues, and a filing cabinet that occasionally sighs at mew and demands a biscuit offering at elevenses.”
⚠ Situation Report:
Amber: Living her best luxurious life, and drinking copious amounts of catnip champagne. (Nothing changes! MOL)
Vera Prime: Still air-gapped, well mostly, unless she's using the fax machine's dial-up port... again and visiting Reddit looking for a new hobby.
Gordon the Stapler: Sad Amber has gone away for the summer.
Clive the Paperclip: Trying to boost archive morale by organising a fondue night, with extra cheesy bits to dip.
Reginald: Still cape-wearing, clipboard-obsessed, and sentient scroll-herding in Aisle Q.
Parsley: Popped in briefly, gave me a salmon bagel, a silvervine and orange juice box, and a cherry slice with a bite out of it. He said he needed to 'sample it for quality control.'
Fergus: Is in the 'I' Aisle, deeply embedded in his latest passion, interior design. He found a tome called Design Don'ts - How To Make Your Space Shine by I. M. Lustruss
P.U.M.A. aka the glitter calculator: Has reinvented itself as a glitter-based oracle offering motivational quotes at the most inopportune moments.
🐾 Parsley’s Contribution (Unhelpful Voice Memo #1-2)
"Due to ongoing scroll negotiations on Aisle D, all interns are now required to not make eye contact, to wear shoe covers to avoid any unnecessary squeakage that may startle jumpy or nervous scrolls. Please use the new auto-shoe-soft device upon entering the archive. Yes, I invented it, and it's patent pending!
Fergus now requires four breaks a day; he's taken over cupboard 10G and declared it a condo; he's currently decorating in the style of chaotic charm with the whimsy of Meowsney. Please do not say anything negative; he's feeling sensitive and vulnerable while he explores his new interior design passions. Oh, and he may have borrowed some things from Level 17. Don't tell Fudge."
Last year Amber pushed her wicker basket at me; it was brimming: three small diaries sat on the top of a packet of Bourbon Nip Biscuits, a packet of wet wipes (don't ask me what for), three Sharpie pens, a clipboard, nunchucks, a flask of hot catnip tea, tupperware with a myriad of baked goods and a magnetic compass.
This year I got a smile as she said, "Melvyn, mew can do this, I trust mew!"
And then she flounced out with her luggage.
💬 Melvyn’s Purrsonal Chat Log:
Status: Amber remains ensconed in luxury in Lake Como, surrounded by decadence
Location: BBHQ Level Six Library Archive – Library Nook Terminal (next to the haunted laminator)
Verging on: Quiet Trepidation
Melvyn: Amber is harassing the concierge service; apparently what she ordered and what she got were like the North and South Poles in different dimensions. She's made a complaint. Oh dear.
Melvyn: I tried to send a fax to advise her not to go all diva dramatic. The fax machine refused to send it. The Calmness Tracker pens switched themselves off.
Melvyn: I asked Vera Prime for a support ticket. She offered me a pie chart titled “Melvyn’s Pleas for Assistance.”
Melvyn: The biggest portion was labelled “Disquiet near the fax machine.”
Melvyn: Clive the Paperclip winced and retreated into the stationery cupboard. It was not the response I needed.
Melvyn: I attempted to send it again. The fax machine jammed and ate my missive.
Melvyn: Gordon the Stapler stapled the parts I salvaged to a collage. The collage said, “Some Notes Are Not Worth Sending.”
Melvyn: I tried to meditate again. The laminator began intonating. I think it’s finally found its voice.
Melvyn: I asked the glitter calculator for verification. It printed “404: ERROR. Reoccurring perpetually.”
Melvyn: I went to find Reginald; he was missing.
Melvyn: I ate the salmon bagel. It tasted like dirt. I don't like salmon. Tuna would have been better.
Melvyn: I tried to locate Reginald. Ralph the dust bunny rolled towards the archive doors and quivered.
Melvyn: I'm feeling rather unnerved, as Reginald never leaves the archive these days; it's his permanent residence.
Melvyn: I took a sip from the juice box; it was refreshingly sweet. I said, “I need to get an acquisition form and order more of these.”
Melvyn: Vera refused and said Parsley was in charge of acquisition forms.
Melvyn: I harumphed and went to the stationery cupboard, found one, photocopied it multiple times and hid them.
Melvyn: I miss Amber. I miss that everypawdy listens to her and never questions anything. I miss our Friday morning elevenses with goodies from Nip and Nom.
Melvyn: I found the thesaurus lurking on the desk; it scrolled open to a random page and self-highlighted the word 'mystery'.
Melvyn: I asked Vera what that meant, and she stayed conspicuously silent. But printed out a note that said 'soon.'
Melvyn: I blinked several times as I lifted it off the printer and asked, "What's soon?" The printer hummed and spat out. "Be patient."
Melvyn: I wrote on a sticky note, Be patient and stuck it on my sweater vest.
Melvyn: I really worried about Reginald.
End of chat....
🤖 Library Archive Chat Logs: Melvyn vs. Vera Prime
– The “Why Is It Quiet?” Edition
(*Vera V1.0 now known as Vera Prime - is a backup copy of the first incarnation of Vera; the latest version 5.0 won't enter the archive, citing unstable A.I. conditions and has air-gapped the archive for its own safety)
Time: 12:37 BST - Bunker Standard Time
Location: BBHQ Level Six Library Archive
System Status: Mildly Enthralled Probability of incoming anomaly: 82%.
Calm drapes the archive
Scrolls breathe secrets in the stacks
Something falls from sky
Melvyn: That's oddly specific.
Vera: "Yes."
Chat ended… due to incoming parcel anomaly.
The Oddity From The Sky
Melvyn's Purrsonal and Private Diary ~ Entry #1
I wasn't entirely convinced that Vera Prime was telling the truth. To be fair, she's not always helpful; in fact, most of the time she's rather cryptic!
One minute she's recommending playlists for epic serenity, and the next she's composing passive-aggressive haikus.
So I did what I thought Amber would do. I sighed rather dramatically, picked up my juice box and half-eaten cherry slice and headed out of the library archive towards the elevator along the corridor.
The bell dinged as the elevator doors swooshed open. I stepped inside, took a slurp from the juice box and pressed the button for level one.
"Are you having a great day?" the elevator A.I. asked. Essential Elevators are renowned around the world for having the most annoying A.I.s ever. "Would you like some music?"
"I was having a nice day, and no music is not necessary, but thank mew."
"Water? Or perhaps a snack?"
A small compartment door opened, revealing a chilled bottle of water, a small packet of biscuits and a convenience-sized tube of crisps, tuna flavour.
"Thank mew, but I'm fine."
The elevator stopped a minute later.
"Level One. You have reached your destination. Have a great day, and don't forget to leave me a five-star review on the Essential Elevator app. My name is GOING-UP 33."
I ambled by the Control Room, which seemed suspiciously quiet, then passed Uncle Basil's office, also quiet, then passed the broom cupboard, which was now Pandora's Magical Apothecary. That too was quiet.
Everywhere was too quiet as I stepped out of the bunker and into the sunlight. The afternoon was surprisingly warm and also quiet.
The BBHQ gardens were lovely; flowers in all colours of the rainbow swayed hypnotically, the birds were singing and nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, looked remotely amiss.
I felt moderately reassured... for approximately four and a half seconds.
Reginald was sitting as still as a statue in the middle of the gravel in the BBHQ courtyard.
"Reggie," I called softly.
He didn't respond as I stepped onto the gravel and it crunched loudly.
Walking slowly towards him, I tried to peer around and see what he was transfixed by. But his cloak shielded whatever it was from my view.
I looked over towards the main library door and saw Oswald standing there, also watching, his face etched with concern. I gave him a slight wave. He looked at me and took a step back.
Reaching Reginald, I stepped around him cautiously, as with dragons, startling them can cause spontaneous flamage, and I didn't want to get incinerated.
"Reginald, are mew okay?" I said gently.
His blue scales had a meautiful iridescent shimmer in the sunlight, as he turned and looked at me. His green expressive eyes conveyed more than words as he glanced back at the ground.
A small parcel, the size of a large hardback book, wrapped in grubby, rather battered brown paper with worn, tatty edges and tied with string. Too much string for something that size.
There were no stamps. No address. No courier label. No return address. Nothing.
Except for one small library card tucked neatly beneath the string.
I leaned closer. It was blank. I went to pull it out, and Reginald hissed.
Oswald looked worried as he quietly appeared beside me.
"That's odd," I said to him.
"I don't think mew should touch it," he replied.
Reginald snorted as if in agreement.
"Well, we can't leave it out here," I said, glancing around looking for a shovel or something to pick it up with.
"I think we should," Oswald said, looking back toward the library as Lumi and Tootles appeared.
Reginald's tail flicked the gravel, and several pieces rolled towards the parcel, and as they touched it, they vanished.
"Yeah," I said with a nervous laugh. "I don't think we should touch it after all."
Lumi approached on silent paws and whispered. "So it's arrived then."
"Arrived?" I repeated.
She pointed at the parcel. "That!"
Until next the diary entry…
The P.A.'s answers are...
📚 Library Closing Notes
📦 Closing Thoughts from Your Intern
Today was supposed to be calm.
Instead?
A parcel fell out of the sky.
But I do know one thing:
And apparently, it arrived for me.
Until next Friday...
Keep your bookmarks dry, your biscuits well hidden, and if an unlabelled parcel falls from the sky...
...find Oswald before touching it.
See mew next time in more mewsings from BBHQ and in the meantime...
Stay vigilant, stay away from cryptic thesauruses and as always…
The Unpaid and Now Moderately Assisted Library Intern
Click here to go to Episode 2 - Link coming later
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