**TOP SECRET - DO NOT READ WITHOUT CLEARANCE**
CLASSIFIED B TEAM FILES
**2016 REVISITED**
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Pawesome greetings, supurr pals
Welcome to Chapter Nine and the penultimate episode of our epically epic and rather explosive report ~ only available here, for your eyes only in the CFR - Classified File Room, and if mew missed the previous chapters, here are the links:
Chapter Nine
The World Stood Still & Then It Didn't
'And Action!'
My claws were sunk deep into Parsley's rig as I clung on to him with all the strength I could muster, and believe me when I say he is not light, he's solid muscle from the end of his tail to the tip of his nose; in fact, he's like the Ernie Schwarzafluffer of the cat-world. He takes his fitness, nutrition, and training very seriously, working out in the high-tech gym in the bunker every day and making sure he's a honed, toned specimen of uber manly-catness.
Anyhoo, I'm digressing, clinging to Parsley as the ground loomed closer and closer, I tried to pull the clip on my reserve chute again, and this time the pull-cord worked. I felt the parachute in my rig begin to deploy, and in the next breath, we stopped falling, like completely stopped moving. The ground wasn't getting any closer, and there was no rushing air around us.
Eerily, there was no sound either; all the explosions above us were suspended mid-air, not getting any bigger or even dissipating, just flaming orange globes lighting the sky in silence. It took me a moment to get a handle on going from a gazillion miles an hour straight down to a dead stop with no adverse effects.
We just hung there, in a state of total inertia, with the ground about fifty feet below us. I gulped and tried to move, but found I couldn't. I couldn't even turn my head to look at Parsley, and at that moment, I wished I had telepathic skills. Casting my gaze downwards, I spied Horice with Humphrey in the courtyard, and that's when I saw the strange blue light emanating from around Horice, and I knew at that juncture he'd used his magick ju-ju to stop everything, and my hope returned with a vigour I thought was lost.
I then noticed a huge black inflatable cushion covering most of the lawn directly beneath us and smiled inwardly, relief cascading over me in all kinds of wonderpurr ways.
* * *
"Horice dude, mew're a genius!" Humphrey said.
"Aye, that be so," Horice chuckled. "But we still be 'aving a problem, Purredator One, when I let the stasis field go, it'll all be the same as it was before, all I be doing is prolonging the inevitable, and now there be only me and thee that can change the future, everything and everyone else is stopped in this time dilation."
Humphrey's brow creased as he stared at Amber, who was frozen mid-scream a few feet away, then at the drama-filled sky, fighter jets, explosions and falling comrades all on an indefinite pause. "Aye, that does be posing a purroblem," he replied as he ran scenario after scenario over in his mind, each one resulting in the result they were trying to prevent.
They stood in silence, time neither passing nor events changing.
"What about..." Humphrey began, his whiskers suddenly twitching with excitement. "What about if we use the orb, mew know the little one Basil brought back with him from the island, maybe if we threw it at them it would encase them in a bubble?"
Horice pondered this as the calming blue light pulsed gently from the huge sapphire on his third eye. "Aye now ye be thinking," he said with a wry smile. "That orb be a special gift with many special properties, but we still be 'aving the problem that it will be impossible to throw anything into the stasis field, it would just stop dead in its tracks."
In Humphrey's mind, a little seed of an idea popped up, and he said. "Horice, let's get the orb."
* * *
The P.I.T.H. stood just inside the tree line as the fighter jets unleashed hell, with a missile strike that was like nothing they'd ever expected.
The ground exploded all around them, and was suddenly on fire. Mud and clods of earth flew in every direction as the missiles exploded on impact with deafening precision. Thick grey smoke began to plume, and Snitch suddenly took off, scampering for all he was worth deeper into the forest, leaving his troops behind. There was another massive explosion a nanosecond later, trees were shattered by the force, branches and burning debris blasted in all directions, as he was caught in the fallout and catapulted through the air.
The Bazooka Brothers, Ace and Scooter, were also caught in the fallout and were hurtling through the air mid-blast when everything stopped.
* * *
Horice closed his eyes, an air of intense concentration emanating from him and the vast blue jewel began to glow brighter and brighter. Then there was an almighty popping sound, the courtyard went pitch-black like all the light had been sucked away and was replaced with an ebony velveteen filter, the air was charged with an extraordinary power that if mew squinted and tilted your vision, mew could almost see it dancing like tiny twinkling dust motes in the inky blackness. All at once, the small orb appeared in a dazzling show of radiant light.
Chills ran up and down Humphrey's spine in a tingly wave, and he could feel his paws quivering as he reached out rather gingerly while it hovered just in front of him.
Horice, sensing his apprehension, said. "Purredator One don't ye be afraid, thee orb knows mew need its help and is willing to serve thee, all ye need to do is hold it and think of what mew want it to do,"
Humphrey couldn't see a thing in the blinding light as he let his paws connect with the weird and exoctic artefact. His paw pads buzzed with energy as he gently squeezed the orb, realising it was soft and malleable under his touch; not a hard, solid object, and that's when he felt its pulse. Like a beating heart, rhythmic and strong, getting louder and louder as he concentrated his thoughts with a laser-like focus on what he needed.
The rhythmic beating increased until Humphrey couldn't hear himself think, and he had to let go suddenly. His paws came away with a soft popping and squelching sound, and at that precise moment, the darkness gave way to daylight, and time began again.
* * *
I watched from my lofty position as Humphrey and Horice seemed to be engaged in a rather intense conversation, wondering what on earth was happening when, entirely out of the blue, everything went black. I blinked a few times but saw nothing, and in the next moment, it was as if someone had turned on the lights, and, to my horror, I could feel the rush of the wind as we continued our heart-lurching descent. The intense relief I'd felt only an instant earlier was ripped away with devastating force.
My chute deployed too late to save us, and it flapped like a giant red-and-white streamer as we plunged down. At this point, what else could I do? I screamed like a girl.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
Closing my eyes as the ground was only a second away, I gulped and prayed for a miracle, any kind of a miracle.
And then it happened.
We were one-tenth of a moment away from Splats-Ville, Arizona, when it felt like we were hit with an incredible force from the side. The breath whooshed out of my lungs as I began to somersault over and over. Trying hard to keep hold of Parsley, the parachute started to wrap around us like a giant sheet as we were propelled upwards away from the ground.
Parsley yelled, "What the fluff, weren't we going fast enough already... is that why we're going back up to make sure the jobs finished properly?"
We were trussed up tighter than a turkey on Catmas Day in my reserve chute as we began to slow and fall back towards the ground. It was in that moment that I realised I couldn't feel the cold air rushing past me, and I fought to understand why as my eyes darted in all directions. That's when I saw it.
We were floating in the middle of a giant iridescent bubble that was gently drifting towards the garden. Ethereal light shimmered like rainbows sprinkled with diamonds across the surface of our rescue orb as we descended and landed with a soft bump on the giant inflatable cushion. We bounced lightly twice, and then the bubble burst with a soft pop, and we were left lying on the huge cushion.
I could hear Amber wailing, and Humphrey and Smooch shouting as they ran towards us as they clambered awkwardly onto the cushion, losing their balance and toppling onto us.
The air whooshed out of my lungs again, and I choked out, "Mew guys are the best." As tears of relief began to slip from my eyes, I tried to sniff back the emotions that wanted to burst out of me.
I heard Parsley grunt, and I realised I was squashing him face-first into the rubber cushion.
Smooch whipped out his small knife and said between gasping sobs, "Don't mew guys ever do that to me again, don't mew ever leave me! Promise me, mew won't leave me!"
Humphrey stood up on the wobbly cushion, fell over and stood up again. "That was so close, Basil," his voice cracked and filled with emotion. "And like Smooch said, don't mew guys ever leave us or do anything that stupid again!"
Smooch began to carefully cut us out of the parachute in between wiping tears of relief from his face, and a few minutes later, we were all on solid ground. Amber rushed up to us and cuffed me and Parsley around the ears.
Snowie appeared in the next moment and did precisely the same. They were both still crying as they reprimanded us, hugged us, reprimanded us again, and then hugged us again. And to be honest, the relief I felt was so immense I didn't mind the ear-bashing for one second.
Parsley gave me a look and said, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Basil, thank mew for coming to save me."
I nodded and patted him gently on the shoulder. "Dude," I replied, clearing my throat as it was thick with emotion. "Mew would have done the same for me."
Horice ambled towards us and gave me a wink. I smiled back and saluted him, guessing that he'd been the primary catalyst in our unbelievable rescue.
It was then that I noticed the ground was shaking beneath my paws, and I could hear the heavy barrage of gunfire in the distance.
Posie appeared in that instant and said. "Guys, mew've got to get mobile asap, mew'll never believe what's happening!"
** And Cut **
It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!
Such as:
OMC, how could mew leave us hanging like that, and we've got a whole day to wait?!!
OH MY COD!!!!!
Mewton-Clawson is a war zone. How are mew going to stop it?
What was it like to be in that giant bubble?
How scared were mew when mew saw the ground looming up?
What is that little orb?
And where did mew get it?
How did it feel to be suspended in the air?
Has it put mew off flying for good?
What will mew do with the giant inflatable cushion?
Where has Posie been for the last couple of episodes?
etc...
We're sure mew probably have many more, but to be honest, we can't think of any right now, as things have just exploded in a whole new way!
Many thanks for joining us for our epic re-run of
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Don't forget to sneak back into the CLASSIFIED FILE ROOM tomorrow for the Grande Finale of our adventure.
Until then
DON'T GO OUT OF THE GARDEN!!!
Epic purrs
Commander Basil
&
Follow Us @BionicBasil® at Instacat
**PLEASE NOTE**
Copyright © 2025 by BionicBasil® & Cathrine Garnell ~ Author & Publisher
All rights reserved. No part of this blog serialised publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including content scraping, screenshots, blatant copying or any other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author and publisher. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the email address below:
cathrinegarnell @gmail . com
Graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com and www.pizap.com
