Don't panic, we are in our street clothes and look like butter wouldn't melt in our mouths, just normal, everyday cats -yeah, right! MOL
Stay Fluffy and utterly epic as mew explore BBHQ adventures, Mewton‑Clawson’s cosy village charm, and all the cat‑tastic gossip from Wing Commander Basil & The B Team.
Happy Monday, epic furiends
Welcome to Episode 3 of our brand‑new feature, where we take mew outside the gates of BBHQ and into the heart of Mewton‑Clawson to meet the locals, explore the village, and share all the gossip that’s far too juicy for the Midweek News! MOL
First mew met Hissy Furrton at the Nip & Nom Tea Shoppe ~ queen of cake, connoisseur of catnip brownies, and unofficial inspector of cherry slices, plus hot gossip aficionado.
And in episode 2, Hamish McClaw, landlord and owner of The Quarter Moon Pub.
This week, we’re staying at The Quarter Moon and heading into the kitchen.
A Map of Mewton-Clawson
Obviously, we've had to change a few things to remain anonymous in the English countryside, but mew get the picture!
Yeah, we don't want an ambush if we can help it! MOL
Today we're introducing mew to Aurora Purrzmore, Head Chef at The Quarter Moon and the extraordinarily talented lady responsible for keeping Mewton-Clawson exceedingly well fed!
Some of mew may remember that when we visited Hamish McClaw last time, we mentioned the pub's epic menu and promised we'd introduce mew to the culinary genius behind it. Well, furiends, sharpen your claws, loosen your belts and prepare your taste buds, because today's the day! MOL
Aurora hasn't always presided over the enormous AGA and gleaming copper pans at The Quarter Moon. Before arriving in Mewton-Clawson, she spent five years as Head Housekeeper to Lord and Lady Whiskerington-Smythe on their magnificent 3,000-acre sporting estate in Yorkshire, where she managed the household with impeccable efficiency.
She wasn't originally employed as their chef.
There was a chef.
Unfortunately, he had an alarming habit of burning the sausages and bacon while simultaneously serving scrambled eggs so undercooked they were practically still clucking. After several disastrous breakfasts, Aurora did what any sensible Head Housekeeper would do.
She demoted him to Kitchen Assistant and took over. Nopawdy argued!!! MOL
For the next five years, Aurora ran the household and the kitchen with military precision, until one spectacularly ill-advised wager on the Glorious Twelfth brought her time at the estate to an abrupt end.
Apparently, after a rather enthusiastic evening involving far too much whisskee, Lord Whiskerington-Smythe wagered his entire estate that he could outshoot his old rival, Lord Meownton-Tabbie, on the first day of the grouse-shooting season.
Unfortunately, His Lordship woke the following morning with a monumental hangover... and no spectacles.
He bagged five birds.
He lost the bet, and he also lost the estate.
Rumours immediately began circulating that Lord Meownton-Tabbie had somehow acquired the missing eyewear before the shoot, although nothing was ever proven. The resulting fallout was, according to Aurora, "most unpleasant."
So while solicitors descended, accusations flew, and the aristocracy collectively lost the plot, Aurora packed her belongings and headed south.
And this is where things get interesting.
One evening, while travelling along the Fuskerton Road, Aurora had a rather unfortunate encounter with a particularly nasty rogue Ghast lurking in the darkness.
Fortunately for Aurora, The B Team happened to be on pawtrol.
Unfortunately for the Ghast... The B Team happened to be on pawtrol.
MOL!
After we'd dealt with the paranormal pest, Aurora was understandably a little shaken, so we escorted her back to Mewton-Clawson and took her to The Quarter Moon for something warm, something restorative and, knowing Hamish, probably something containing whisskee.
And that's when Aurora met Hamish McClaw.
They got talking.
Hamish mentioned that he desperately needed a decent cook.
Aurora mentioned that she happened to be rather good at cooking.
And BOOM!
Mewton-Clawson had a new resident, The Quarter Moon had a new chef, and Hamish suddenly found himself spending considerably more time near the kitchen than was strictly necessary. 😹
Her relationship with Thriftee Manx, however, is somewhat less enthusiastic.
Aurora describes Thriftee as... "Very sour." And that's all we're saying about that, for now. 😹
This week, Smooch is going behind the scenes at The Quarter Moon to meet Aurora, investigate the legendary menu, and, if he's feeling particularly brave, ask about The Hamish Situation.
Trust us, furiends... this could get interesting! MOL
MEET AURORA PURRZMORE ~ HEAD CHEF, FORMER HOUSEKEEPER TO NOBILITY AND CULINARY COMMANDER
Aurora is an elegant silver-grey tabby with magnificent floof, impeccable manners and a natural air of authority that makes even the rowdiest pub regular think twice before putting a paw where it shouldn't be. She runs The Quarter Moon kitchen with effortless precision from behind a huge scrub-top table, surrounded by gleaming copper pans, bubbling pots and the enormous AGA that seems to be permanently producing something delicious. She's warm, witty, generous and incredibly difficult to fluster. Aurora rarely raises her voice; she doesn't need to, as one look is usually sufficient. Her food, however, is another matter entirely. Aurora believes proper pub food should be hearty, homemade and served in portions large enough that nopawdy leaves The Quarter Moon wondering whether they should have ordered chips. From Aurora's kitchen: Pie & Mash Night (Monday) Deep-filled homemade pies, buttery mash, seasonal vegetables and lashings of gravy. Fish & Chip Night (Wednesday) Golden battered fish, chunky chips, mushy peas and homemade tartare sauce. The B Team's takeaway order is extensive!!! MOL Caturday Specials Aurora's ever-changing specials board, based on whatever is fresh, seasonal or happens to take her fancy. Sunday Roasts Roast meats, crispy potatoes, vegetables, enormous Yorkshire puddings and enough gravy to float a small boat. Plus, there's the regular Quarter Moon menu, homemade puddings, bar snacks and a thriving takeaway service for Mewton-Clawson residents. Aurora also has very definite opinions about the cats around her. She adores the B Team, although saving her from a rogue Ghast probably earned us a few extra points. She absolutely loves Amber, claiming they have "a surprising amount in common." We're still deciding whether that should concern us!!! MOL And then there's Hamish. Aurora insists that Hamish McClaw is the landlord and therefore naturally spends time in the kitchen discussing pub business. The fact that he frequently appears when there's absolutely no pub business to discuss is, apparently, pure coincidence. And if mew believe that, we've got a slightly haunted cottage on the Fuskerton Road we'd like to sell mew! MOL
Oh, and if mew're wondering about the tuxedo kittens in the kitchen, they are two orphans recently found abandoned near the church... and the entire village is looking after them.
What would mew like to order first?
Aurora's Favourite Places: The Quarter Moon Kitchen & Home
This week, Smooch asked Aurora to tell us about her favourite place in Mewton-Clawson. Unlike Hamish, who didn't hesitate for a second, Aurora refused to choose just one. Well, Smooch, I suppose everypawdy expects me to say The Quarter Moon kitchen, and they wouldn't be entirely wrong. I do love it. There's something very comforting about arriving early in the morning before the pub wakes up, lighting the enormous AGA and standing at my old scrub-top table deciding what we're going to make that day. My copper pans hang exactly where I want them, my knives are where they're supposed to be, and for perhaps twenty glorious minutes... everything is peaceful. Then Hamish arrives, usually under the pretence of checking something, but he never actually knows what he's checking! MOL
On occasion, one or more members of the B Team will appear at the kitchen door looking suspiciously hungry after a pawtrol, and if Amber arrives, I know purrfectly well that whatever I had planned for the next half-hour is about to be accompanied by gossip. I wouldn't change any of it. But as much as I love my kitchen, I also adore my little thatched cottage. It's tucked away in a quieter corner of Mewton-Clawson with a pretty garden that is absolutely bursting with flowers. I like colour, lots of it, and there's always something blooming somewhere, even if the weather has other ideas. At the bottom of the garden, I have a greenhouse and potting shed where I grow and dry herbs for the kitchen. Bunches hang from the rafters, jars line the shelves, and something is usually drying on every available surface. I use them in my soups, sauces, pies and roasts at The Quarter Moon, and I much prefer knowing exactly where my herbs have come from. Then there's my little vegetable patch - well, I say my vegetable patch... technically, it belongs to me; in reality, it belongs to Digger. Digger is the local gardening badger and proprietor of Digger's Gardening Services ~ D.G.S. He's been looking after my vegetable garden since I moved into the cottage and takes his work extremely seriously. Apparently, I am allowed to harvest the vegetables. But I am not allowed to interfere with them... I once suggested moving the runner beans, and Digger stared at me for so long that I apologised. So now I leave the gardening to the professional!!! MOL He keeps me supplied with potatoes, carrots, onions, beans, courgettes and whatever else he decides I'm growing that year, and quite a lot of it eventually finds its way onto the plates at The Quarter Moon. There's something rather lovely about that. Food grown a short walk from the pub, herbs dried in my own greenhouse, flowers outside my cottage and a pub full of hungry furiends waiting to eat whatever I've made. After five years running a grand Yorkshire household, I discovered that I didn't actually need all that grandeur and responsibility. A little cottage with a colourful garden. A warm kitchen, good furiends, and perhaps the occasional wee dram after closing. That's quite enough for me. Although if mew repeat that last part to Hamish, Smooch, I shall deny it completely. Aurora Purrzmore
Hot Gossip from the QUARTER MOON Kitchen
Where the pies are epic, the mash potato buttery, and the battered fish sublime.
A Chat Between Smooch & Aurora ~ The Missing Pie Edition
Smooch: Aurora, how many steak and ale pies did mew make this morning?
Aurora: Twelve.
Smooch: And now there are eleven.
Aurora: Very observant.
Smooch: Any suspects?
Aurora: There's a trail of pastry crumbs leading directly to Hamish's office.
Smooch: Rookie mistake.
Aurora: Quite.
Smooch: Amber reckons he only keeps coming into the kitchen because he's sweet on mew.
Aurora: Amber is a very perceptive lady.
Smooch: AHA!
Aurora: She's also one of my best furiends.
Smooch: Unlike Thriftee?
Aurora: Thriftee is purrfectly competent behind the bar.
Smooch: But?
Aurora: She's rather sour with a side order of prickles, and she never smiles.
Smooch: Ouch.
Hamish: [appearing in the doorway with pie crumbs in his whiskers] What are mew two gossipin' aboot?
Aurora: Hamish. Is that my missing steak and ale pie?
Hamish: ...Quality control, lass?
Aurora: Of course. I'll add it to your bar tab.
Smooch: Savage.
Aurora: Efficient.
Hamish: That's ma girl.
Aurora: Don't push your luck, Hamish.
Smooch: I'm telling Amber mew said that.
Hamish: LADDIE!
✨ AURORA’S QUOTE OF THE DAY ✨
“When in doubt, dear… follow the crumbs. They invariably lead to the culprit.”
