Welcome to
Happy Monday, furry floofers
Welcome to Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone.
Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:
Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry
BSc (Hons) Headology
Psy.D. Furry Logic
MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense
My other Professional Credits include:
NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.
Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:
Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties
Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility
ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense
Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com
So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.
This is one of my latest cases:
HELP! WHY HAVEN'T I WON THE LOTTERY YET???!!!
Florence, a lovely ragdoll kitty who's living a good life but wants more, as she feels life is lacking meaning and depth, called my Facetime hotline late last Friday evening wanting my sage advice on how to obtain shed loads of money so she can buy a boat and sail off around the world with her staff.
Here's the transcript, as approved by Florence, for use on today's post.
**Florence:** (picking up the phone with a delicate lift of her perfectly groomed paw, her luxurious Ragdoll fur shimmering in the sunlight) *Meow, meow! Is this the famous Dear Dr. Basil?*
**Dr. Basil:** (with a warm, welcoming tone that contrasts my sage reputation) *Indeed, it is! Mew’ve reached the illustrious Dr. Basil, your online agony uncle for all things feline. How can I assist mew today, my enchanting furiend?*
**Florence:** (nestling into her plush, velvet cat bed adorned with pastel cushions) *Oh, Dr. Basil, I find myself in a most purrplexing situation! Mew see I’ve been harbouring a grand ambition to win the lottery—my ultimate dream is to purrchase the most opulent yacht and sail around the world, feeling the salty breeze ruffle my fur while lounging under the sun! But alas, no matter how many scratchcards I scratch at with my dainty paw, all I seem to win is yet another wretched “better luck next time” slip!*
**Dr. Basil:** (stifling a chuckle, my whiskers twitching with amusement) *Ah, the tantalizing call of the seas and the vision of sun-soaked adventures! But tell me, dear Florence, how many tickets have mew actually acquired on this quest for fortune?*
**Florence:** (sighing dramatically, her deep blue eyes clouded with frustration) *Ah, let’s see… I’ve bravely purrchased seven tickets thus far. But that’s not all! I also tried a little “luck technique” I read about while perusing cat-centric videos online. Picture this: I sat firmly atop my pile of tickets, convinced that my luxurious fluff would shower them with divine luck!*
**Dr. Basil:** (with a playful grin) *Ah, the age-old “feline blessing” method! I truly hope mew didn’t accidentally mutilate your tickets while attempting to pose regally on top of them!*
**Florence:** (her tail flicking in embarrassment) *Well, there was an unfortunate incident involving excitement and a few enthusiastic claw swipes… but that’s hardly the point! I am in dire need of genuine advice, Dr. Basil!*
**Dr. Basil:** (voice filled with encouragement) *Right mew are, dear Florence! Here’s a fabulously pawsible idea: What if mew launched a captivating YouTube channel dedicated to showcasing your extravagant lifestyle as a “Luxury Cat Lifestyle” expert? Mew could charm legions of admirers with your tips for pampered living!*
**Florence:** (eyes lighting up with vibrant enthusiasm) *Ooh, that sounds splendid! Sharing my exquisite grooming sessions, flawless poses, and the most delectable gourmet treats—how delightful!*
**Dr. Basil:** *Absolutely! Mew could create content around “Catnip Cuisine,” highlight the finest scratching posts, or even offer a segment called “Sailing Essentials for the Posh Cat.” Imagine the views!*
**Florence:** (purring softly at the thought) *Oh, I absolutely adore that concept! But… what if I struggle to attract sponsors for my glamorous channel?*
**Dr. Basil:** (with a knowing tone) *Ah, that’s where the realm of “Catfluencers” comes into play! Mew only need a loyal following enchanted by your feline charisma. Just remember, the essence of being a captivating influencer lies in your ability to look effortlessly furbulous at all times!*
**Florence:** (twitching her whiskers in determination) *Of course! I shall channel my inner diva! But perhaps I need some tips on mastering the aura of mystery, too. How does one accomplish that?*
**Dr. Basil:** *It’s quite simple, actually! Practice your most theatrical sighs while gazing pensively out the window, perhaps watching the birds flutter by. And don’t forget to incorporate that famous sideways glance—there’s nothing more beguiling than an air of enigmatic allure!*
**Florence:** (nodding with renewed confidence) *Dramatic sighs will henceforth be my specialty! Now, let’s circle back to the lottery: what if I simply wish upon a star each night?*
**Dr. Basil:** (with an amused chuckle) *Wishing upon a star can be quite enchanting, indeed! However, remember that mew should also ensure that your human buys those tickets—stars alone won’t conjure winning numbers!*
**Florence:** (eyes gleaming with fervor) *Mew’re absolutely right! I’ll enlist my human as my very own lottery assistant. And if all else fails, I could still become the world’s first yacht-dwelling cat with a burgeoning purrsonal brand!*
**Dr. Basil:** *Now that’s the spirit, Florence! Cast your dreams wide as mew sail into a future filled with adventure and luxury!*
**Florence:** (her heart leaping with joy) *Thank mew immensely, Dr. Basil! I’ll keep mew updated on my grand expedition toward feline fortune and nautical escapades!*
**Dr. Basil:** *I can hardly wait to hear about your voyages across a sea of catnip-infused waves! Take care and remember to bask in the sun every now and then—an essential for any glamorous cat!*
**Florence:** *Meow! Until next time, dear furiend!*
As I said before, mew couldn't write it, but the good news is Florence is now looking at becoming a catfluencer and is getting her staff up to speed on the new programme. So with a bit of luck and sass, she'll be exactly where she wants to be in no time at all!
@ The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.
If mew can relate to Florence's purroblem or feel that mew need any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil with your dilemma or email me directly, and I'll get back to mew.
Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back soon with another open clinic and a brand new case study.
Until then, Keep Calm and Purr on
Dr Basil
Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ M.S. ~ M.A.
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(T.M. aka Totally Marvellous!)
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