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Welcome to Our Mid-Week News Round-Up and Hot Gossip on The Pet Parade & Today's Headlines are ~ Woo Hoo The Countdown Has Begun, One Two Three Parsley's In A Tree, and Fudge's Catline Call Continued
Happy Wednesday Pawesome Pals
Welcome to December and mew know what that means, the countdown has begun.
Furst up in the headlines this week is...
We finally got to open this year's Scrumbles Advent Calendar, and in our humble opinion, the only advent calendar mew'll ever need.
Fudge and Melvyn were on the front row to get the treats furst yesterday morning bright and breezy.
"The furst one's mine!" Fudge said. "I've been on dry food rations for weeks, so it's only fair I get furst dibbs!"
"Get stuffed!" Melvyn replied. "I've been queuing up here since dawn for this, get behind me in the queue and wait your turn!"
"But I'm older!" Fudge declared. "So therefore I have seniority, step back from the calendar smarty-pants!"
"Well if mew're going to play it like that, and use the age-card," Melvyn smirked. "I'm the baby of the furmily, so therefore I get everything furst because the baby always gets spoiled!"
Ahhhhhh, the joys of Catmas begin, and the same thing happened again today, that festive spirit is very much alive and kicking at BBHQ this year! MOL MOL MOL
Next up in the news this week; One Two Three Parsley's In A Tree.
Four Five Six he was throwing sticks,
Seven Eight Nine Smooch will be fine,
Ten Elebentyeight, as Smooch was hiding under a crate!
Anyhoo he missed Smooch by a mile, but Smooch took evasive action just to be sure.
And why was Parsley throwing sticks from up a tree? Well it would appear that there's - Tabbies of Trout Towne purrlease close your eyes NOW & scroll down - been a hawk terrorising the little burds in the garden and it actually took a blackburd the other day, so Parsley is on protection duty and the burds are paying him £5 a day plus as much seed as he wants, and he said, it's a bit quiet in the bunker this time of year so he's happy to help out. What a guy!
And finally this week, mew may remember on last weeks Pet Parade that Fudge had a massive boggle happening and had called Catline to air his grievances or his P.P.I. aka Purrsonaly Purrcieved Injustice, and that he was in a queue waiting to speak with the D.F.D.D. or Dried Food Deprivation Department. Last week we left mew here in the transcript:
Five minutes later, another recorded message said, "We're sorry to inform mew all of our opurrators are now on their regulated catnap breaks and won't be back for at least an hour, purrlease stay on the line to keep your place in the queue and we'll answer your call as soon as we wake up, thank mew for your patience."
At 5 hours, 38 minutes and 15 seconds of being in the telephone queue, Fudge was just about to throw the towel in when a voice suddenly said, "This is the Dried Food Deprivation Department, how may I be of assistance to mew today? And FYI all calls are recorded for no purrticular reason at all!"
"About fluffing time!" Fudge growled, "I've been waiting 5 hours, 38 minutes and 18 seconds for my call to be answered."
"I'm sorry sir, but we're required to take routine naps at Catline as per our Health and Safety Wurkplace Guidelines, I'm sorry that this has inconvenienced mew, would mew like me to transfer mew to the Catline Complaints Department, I see they their current call waiting time is currently at 2 hours and 15 minutes?"
"Oh fluff no, do not transfer me," he said through gritted teeth.
"So how may I be of assistance to mew today, what is your D.F.D.D. P.P.I.?" the opurrator asked in a rather bored tone.
Fudge who was one tiny whisker away from a total floof explosion, sucked in a deep breath and replied as calmly as he could. "I haven't had any dried food in 2 weeks, 2 days, 5 hours, 10 minutes and 59 seconds."
"Ahhhhh that would explain it then sir!" the opurrator answered rather smugly.
"Explain what?" Fudge asked trying to be as polite as he could.
"The anger, snappish tone, short-temperedness, obvious frustration, exasperation factor piquing at around the 10 point mark," the opurrator mused thoughtfully. "Are mew gripping the phone so tightly that mew have white-paw syndrome? Is your breathing erratic, fur bristling wildly, and mew're purretty much ready to blow a gasket?"
Fudge wurked his way through the list mentallyand then growled rather angrily, "YES!"
"Just as I suspected sir," the opurrator replied with an air of utter delight. "I'll have to transfer mew as your case is beyond my training level, purrlease wait while I transfer your call!"
Funnily enough, the next thing on the CCTV footage was Fudge emerging from the telephone box and screaming, we think they even heard him in the neighbouring village of Fuskerton.
And so it goes; the moral of this news tale is, don't call Catline if mew're in a hurry! MOL
If mew're suffering from a P.P.I. try Parsley's Pet Peeves Service, at least mew get answered right away.
BBHQ's Hot Gossip this week is; we posted out all our Catmas cards yesterday so they're now winging their way around the wurld as we type.
We do hope they arrive in time.
If mew've missed any of the posts offur the last week, here are the catch-up links:
Amber will be here on Friday with another fantastic book she can't wait to share with mew all as it's by two of our fabulous blogging furiends, so do stop by the library, tea and nip cookies will be served, and we hope to see mew then!
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