Welcome to
My other Professional Credits include:
NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.
Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:
Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
This is one of my cases via email:
Dear Dr Basil, I hope mew're doing well and not too swamped with other feline dilemmas, because I, Erwin, find myself in a bit of a pickle. Mew see I've been saddled with the rather unflattering nickname "Sir Tub'a'Lot" due to my impressive chonkiness. It's quite the blow to my rather fragile ego! To add to my woes, I recently found myself in a rather awkward predicament when I attempted to shimmy through the catflap, only to realise that I'm a bit too well-rounded for such endeavours. And if that wasn't enough, the hammock on the cat tree decided to part ways with me in a less-than-graceful manner, citing my excessive weight as the reason for our sudden separation. As if my dignity hasn't suffered enough, my pawrents have started whispering about diets and food restrictions, which quite frankly has me in an absolute tizzy. I mean, who wouldn't be a little alarmed at the thought of losing access to their beloved snacks and treats? I humbly seek your guidance, Dr Basil, in navigating this weighty issue and escaping the clutches of the dreaded diet talk. Purrlease lend me your wisdom and help me find a way to manage my chonkiness without sacrificing my happiness. Yours in chonkiness, Sir Erwin
Dear Erwin, I received your letter, and I'm very sorry to hear that mew've been feeling down lately. It can be really tough to deal with name-calling, especially when it's related to your weight. I want mew to know that mew are valued and loved, regardless of your size or chonk-level. Let's address your concerns about your weight and health. It's important to take care of yourself, and I'm here to help mew with that. Here's a nine-step protocol that can guide mew in losing a little weight and feeling better about yourself: 1. Start by slowly reducing the number of treats and snacks mew're having. Instead, focus on incorporating more protein-rich foods like chicken or fish into your diet. 2. Hydration is essential. Increasing your water intake can help regulate your metabolism and support weight loss. 3. Try to engage in some physical activity, even if it's just a little bit of playtime each day. Exercise can help mew burn off extra calories and improve your overall well-being. 4. Consider reducing your portion sizes just a little to start with. Serving smaller portions and eating slowly can make a difference. 5. Try not to skip meals, as doing so can lead to increased hunger and overeating later on. Mew don't want to binge if mew accidentally catnapped through mealtime. 6. Make sure mew're getting enough catnaps. Quality ZZZZZ's are vital for maintaining a healthy weight. 7. Steer clear of human food, as it may be tempting but can be harmful to your health. 8. Get your pawrents to keep track of your progress by monitoring your weight and girth measurements. But if this is too undignified, skip this to start with and implement it later on when mew feel more confident in your progress. 9. Patience and consistency are key. It takes time to see results, but if mew remain dedicated, mew will notice positive changes. Lastly, Erwin, please remember that mew are purrfect just the way mew are. Don't let the hurtful words of others affect how mew see yourself; mew know mew are chonk'a'licious, and mew will always be chonk'a'licious even when mew've reduced your weight just a little to enable a smooth transition through the catflap, and there are no more hammock plunges.
Focus on your health and happiness, and don't let anyone bring mew down, ever. And if they do, just call me, and I'll send Parsley and Smooch to take care of things. Best wishes to you, Erwin!
(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)
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