Mew've caught me in the middle of a rather heated discussion with Fudge about the difference between historically significant artefacts and things mew can borrow for a bit of fun.
Apparently, the distinction isn't as obvious as I thought.
And before mew ask, no, I am not explaining why there's a medieval helmet in the snack lounge.
Not today, anyway!
Anyhoo, welcome back to the bunker, seventeen levels of brilliance, bedlam, and enough questionable decisions to keep an entire committee of health and safety inspectors occupied until the next millennium.
Previously, on Level One...
We began in my office, where mew saw the tapestry and a few rather interesting artefacts acquired during our travels. All purrfectly legitimate acquisitions, obviously.
Then we headed to the Control Room, where mew met Vera's judgemental humming, Snowie's formidable communications setup, the holo-table, and Humphrey's ongoing efforts to make absolutely everything more complicated than necessary.
And last time, we visited Pandora's Magical Apothecary, cleverly disguised as an innocent broom cupboard.
Mew survived the warding spells, the glowing crystals, the DO-NOT-OPEN jars, and Pandora's rather spectacular pocket dimension.
Well done, floofers!
I hope mew've all recovered.
Because today...
We're heading somewhere else on Level One, that most of the B Team walk past without giving it a second glance.
Somewhere that contains objects from distant lands, forgotten centuries, and a few adventures we'd probably rather not discuss in front of responsible adults.
Yes, my epically epic floofers.
Today we're visiting...
THE ODD STORAGE ROOM!
Now, before mew start imagining cardboard boxes full of spare stationery and outdated bunker manuals, allow me to assure mew that this is no ordinary storeroom.
Oh no.
This is BBHQ.
And we don't do ordinary, well, mew know that already!!! MOL
Some of the things in here are ancient and priceless.
Others are completely inexplicable.
And some have labels that say DO NOT TOUCH, which, as mew can imagine, have caused no end of trouble over the years.
But more about that in a moment.
First, please sign the waiver, read the pamphlet, and make sure mew've brought the anorak, torch and emergency snacks I mentioned last time - just in case. Also, a ball of string might be helpful to tie to the door handle and unroll as we head deeper into the room - well, I say room; I mean something a bit bigger!
Mew may also wish to check that mew're wearing comfortable footwear.
And no, Fudge, roller skates do not count!
⚠️ Tour Safety Guidelines
🐾 Don't touch the artefacts. In fact, don't touch anything.
🐾 Don't open any chests, boxes, trunks or suspiciously humming containers.
🐾 Don't try on the ancient helmets, crowns or ceremonial headgear.
🐾 Don't remove anything marked PROPERTY OF BBHQ, even if mew think it would look furbulous on your mantelpiece.
🐾 Don't press any buttons, pull any levers or turn any mysterious keys.
🐾 Don't attempt to decipher inscriptions out loud. We learned that lesson the hard way.
🐾 Don't feed anything that appears to be alive or sentient.
🐾 Don't assume something is harmless just because it hasn't moved for three thousand years.
🐾 Don't ask Smooch if he really knows the goddess Bastet. He does, and we'll never hear the end of it! MOL
🐾 And for cod's sake, if mew see a crate labelled DO NOT OPEN, do not interpret that as a purrsonal challenge!
One final thing.
If anything starts glowing, ticking, whispering, rattling, or moving of its own accord, please inform me immediately.
Do not investigate, do not poke it, and absolutely do not let Fudge anywhere near it!
Right then, floofers.
Stay close, keep your paws to yourselves, and try not to get separated from the group.
Let's begin the tour.
(A quick note from the P.A. - I included some of our epic blogging furriends today - surprise!)
Before we head into the archive, please note - this is the only exit back to Level One.
