**TOP SECRET - DO NOT READ WITHOUT CLEARANCE**
CLASSIFIED B TEAM FILES
**2016 REVISITED**
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Pawesome Wednesday greetings supurr pals
Welcome to Part VIII of our epically epic and rather explosive report ~ only available here, fur your eyes only in the CFR [Classified File Room], and if mew missed any reports, here's the links:
Part VIII
Close Shaves and Hitting Rock Bottom
'And Action!'
I could hear Parsley screaming, not
like a gurl but like a purrson who only had just offur a minute left to live.
My heart was thumping so fast I thought
it was going to burst from my chest as I angled my body again,
changing direction slightly and careened down towards him willing
myself to go faster as the ground loomed closer and Parsley tumbled
out of control. I knew I only had seconds to save him and my throat
clenched tight, my breath restricted as the cold air whooshed passed
me ruffling my fur in all kinds weird ways and if that wasn't bad
enough, the overwhelming dread of our imminent mortality which now rested in my paws made my
body tingle with gut-wrenching fear from the tops of my ears to the tip of my tail.
I know we'd had a few close shaves
before but the scenario I suddenly found myself in, terrified me to my
furry soul and there was no coming back from this purrticular one if
it went completely south and we hit rock bottom.
Parsley was only a few feet away and I
reached out fur him shouting. “Grab my paws!”
His goggles had come off and he stared
straight at me his lucid green eyes glimmering bright green. “No
time dude, pull your reserve chute and save yourself!” he yelled
back. “Mew still have time!”
“No way dude!” I screamed at him as
I managed to grab hold of his rig with the tips of my claws.
“Let me go and save yourself!” his
voice was high and shrill.
Pulling him closer I grappled to get
a firm grip and I happened to glance down, then wished I hadn't.
* * *
Amber was screaming in the garden as
Humphrey suddenly appeared from the secret tunnel.
“What the fluff?” he asked hurtling
towards her.
“I can't look!” she cried in dismay
covering her eyes with her paws.
Humphrey looked rather purrplexed as
his comms unit suddenly crackled. “Purredator One come in, this is
Control,” Snowie said her voice fraught and tight.
“Go ahead Control, I'm back in the
garden,” Humphrey answered.
“Look up!” Snowie instructed.
He did, then his eyes bugged out and his
jaw gaped, he closed it and then tried to speak. “Wwwwwhat?”
“Parsley's chute failed,” was all
Snowie said.
“What can we do?” he snapped.
“I don't know,” Snowie said
starting to cry. “There's no time to do anything!”
“Oh my cod fur all that is merciful!” Humphrey choked out. “There must be something we can do... there must be something!”
* * *
Smoochie flung his helmet off and
quickly pulled on the headset. Then he looked at the high-tech
control panel of the Black-Burd and his heart gave a little stutter
as he squeaked. “This is nothing like the chopper flight-simulator
in the bunker, OH FLIPPIN' FREAKING FLUFF!”
He hit his comms unit as the rotors
started to slow. “Control I need a patch to C.J. in the hummer
right now!” he shouted anxiously. “I have a code red emergency, I
repeat I have a code red emergency!”
The chopper started to slip sideways
through the air and he felt his stomach lurch. “CONTROL CODE RED!”
he yelled into his comms panicking, it was at that precise moment he
saw Parsley's terrifying plight. “CONTROL COME IN!”
A second later Snowie answered, her
voice quivering. “This is Control, Smooch I'm trying to patch mew
direct to the hummers radio but C.J. isn't answering.”
“This burd is going down fast and I
don't know how to fly it!” Smooch said desperately.
Snowie gulped audibly suddenly frozen
to the spot as she continued to watch the monitors in the control room; effurything was happening so fast and broadcasting in HD as the motion-activated camera's tracked the
unfolding nightmare in real-time.
* * *
Snitch and the P.I.T.H. were poised on
the outskirts of Mewton-Clawson when they saw the five fighter jets
make another low pass.
“Are those missiles ready?” he
growled. “We might neffur get another opportunity to shoot down
some of Basil's allies.”
“Priming now!” Bazooka Bros #1
answered.
“Ready!” Bazooka Bros #2 said a
moment later.
“Well what are mew waiting fur, a
flipping invitation, FIRE!” screeched Snitch.
CLICK.... CLICK....
The heat-seeking missiles launched
skywards tracking the fighter jets and Snitch cackled with
manic-delight.
The five planes split off in evasive
manoeuvres and rolled to avoid the missiles; the missiles then promptly
changed their trajectory and began to close in on two of the nearest
fighter jets.
The two pursued jets rolled and
twisted heading higher in the sky before releasing a slew of
anti-missile flares and the missiles exploded a few moments later, their targets missed.
BOOM!
BOOM!
Snitch swore like a tavern keepers
daughter on a Saturday night at closing time and screeched. “FIRE AGAIN AND KEEP
FIRING!”
The Bazooka Brothers had already
reloaded and fired simultaneously, the missiles rocketing into the
sky. They reloaded and fired again. Then again and again. The onslaught was
unmerciful as missile aftur missile hurtled skywards and the pilots
split apart again trying to evade the new threat as they manoeuvred
their planes in an aerial ballet dance deploying more anti-missile
flares.
The sky was a mass of glaring red
explosions as the missiles were lured by the decoy flares and detonated one aftur the other like the
biggest firecracker mew have effur seen. Mewton-Clawson had suddenly
become a war-zone and the fighter pilots didn't hesitate before unleashing their furry own
brand on hell on the P.I.T.H.
* * *
As if my situation couldn't get any
wurse I was suddenly surrounded by exploding missiles as I gripped
Parsley with all my might while desperately trying to pull the
ripcord on my emergency chute with my free paw. I just couldn't seem
to get any purchase on the release-hook as my paws felt numb with the
cold. The air around us was on fire and stank of acrid gun smoke as
we continued to plummet downwards our speed increasing exponentially.
Parsley gave me a smile and shouted.
“Basil thank mew fur effurything, dude mew're the bestest furriend
a kitty could effur have!”
My heart squeezed to the point I
thought it would implode in my chest and my mouth refused to wurk as
he just smiled at me accepting his fate with a reconciled grace, as my mind screamed,
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'
* * *
The rotors on chopper had slowed so
much that the Black-Burd was just free-falling on a side-ways angle
towards the field, Smooch glanced in the back to see if there was
another parachute and gulped when he saw the parachute locker was
bare.
The sky all around him began to explode
and he did scream like a gurl. “Snowie fur fluffs sake, get a grip
and get me C.J. stat!”
Half a second later he heard C.J.'s
voice on his comms unit. “Don't speak just listen!” he instructed
calmly. “There's a big blue button right in front of mew, just hit
it!”
Smooch's panicked eyes scanned the
console several times before he saw it. Punching it with his paw the
chopper lurched alarmingly as the rotors began to pick up speed and
whirl with a rather satisfying sound.
“Now what?” Smooch asked fearfully.
“Furstly breathe, mew aren't going to
crash,” C.J. advised. “That is the fail-safe button, the chopper
is now flying itself.”
“What?” Smooch cried. “Do mew
know how stupid that sounds?”
C.J. replied. “It is not stupid, it's
just saved your life!”
“But it can't save Basil's or
Parsley's!” Smooch sniffled hopelessly. “Can it?”
“That depends,” C.J. answered.
“On what?” Smooch asked sharply.
“They got like 55 seconds before its Splats-Ville Arizona!”
“Mew see the big green button that
says V.C.?”
“Yep.”
“That's voice control, push it and
say fly forward and once mew're in position say deploy cushion,”
C.J. instructed. “Now hurry up as mew are their last best hope!”
Smooch thumped the green button. “Turn
around one eighty degrees and fly forward.” The chopper spun around and shot
forwards so fast he was above the garden before he could blink.
“Deploy cushion!” he yelled as the chopper passed just above
Humphrey, Horice and Amber causing them to hit the deck.
“Did mew do it?” C.J. asked.
“Cushion deployed,” Smooch answered
flatly, his adrenaline reserves abruptly depleted as he prayed in his
mind that whateffur C.J. had told him to do wurked.
“Good, now turn the burd around and
land it in the field, once it's on the ground say 'engine off' and
push the black button,” C.J. said. “I'm still twenty-seven
minutes away and I don't want to get back and hear bad news!”
“OK offur and out,” Smooch replied
and followed C.J.'s instructions to the letter, safely landing the
chopper behind the field and powering down within a few short
seconds. The rotors were still whirring as he launched from the
cockpit and began to run as fast as he could towards the garden
keeping his eyes on the two rapidly falling objects above.
* * *
Amber, Humphrey and Horice heard the
chopper zoom above them amidst the exploding missiles and watched as
what looked like a black box dropped from underneath it and landed in
the garden.
The sky was alight with red, orange and
yellow flames, the noise deafening as the fighter jets began to
retaliate and fire at will on the P.I.T.H., causing the ground to
shake and tremble beneath their paws.
“OH MY COD this is Catruit all offur again!” Humphrey cried
out as he grabbed Amber pulling her towards the ground. “Hit the
deck Horice!”
The huge Hefflelump keeled offur and
crumpled on the gravel. “Aye thank ye fur that Purredator One!”
Horice said as he lay on his side. “That be a mighty close call.”
Humphrey got to his paws and helped
Amber up. “Horice can mew use your magick ju-ju here?” he asked
quickly, then right before his eyes he saw the black box open up into
a giant inflatable cushion which spanned most of the lawn.
Horice stared at the giant black
rubberized shock-absorber cushion and then said. “Aye me magick ju-ju does
be wurking 'ere but it be a little hit and miss.”
Amber was trembling, tears streaming
from her eyes as she wailed inconsolably watching her falling
comrades.
“Horice, mew need to get that ju-ju
fired up now and stop this now!” Humphrey said pointing skywards.
The giant sapphire on Horice's forehead
began to glow, then pulse with an ethereal blue light, just like it had done way-back-when on the island, and in the next breath
effurything stopped, like stopped completely.
** And Cut **
It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!
Such as:
OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole day to wait!!
OH MY COD!!!!!
We can't believe what maniacs the P.I.T.H. are, what will happen now they've started a fire fight?
It looks like Armageddon above your garden, can mew contain it?
Who is this Horice?
And what kind of magick ju-ju does he have?
[Mew can read all about Horice's magickal powers in our Pirate Adventure at some point]
How is it possible that he made time stop?
Will that cushion be enough to save mew and Parsley?
What are the other residents and Parish Council of Mewton-Clawson going to say about their quaint and quiet village being turned into a war-zone?
Who will take responsibility fur the damage caused?
Oh and can we get a chopper with voice control, as that sounds real fun?
etc...
We're sure mew purrobably have many more but to be honest we can't think of any right now as I've still got to save Parsley and myself and the P.I.T.H.-heads have started a war and OH MY COD IT'S ALL GONE WRONG!
Many thanks fur joining us fur our epic re-run of
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Don't furget to sneak back into the CLASSIFIED FILE ROOM on the morrow fur Part IX
Until then
DON'T GO OUT OF THE GARDEN!!!
Bestest purrs
Commander Basil
&
Don't furget to join in The Pet Parade Today
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