Friday 31 December 2021


FAST FURRY & DANGEROUS Graphic ©Copyright @BionicBasil®

**2016 REVISITED** 

The B Team Files Graphic©Copyright @BionicBasil®

The B Team are on a hazardous and deadly mission to save Mewton-Clawson, can they do it?
Part I

Back in the day as a F.I.B. Agent 

[Field Intelligence Bureau]

**And Action!**

It was a cold February dawn in 2007, the frost-covered land glimmered and sparkled with a golden patina as the sun rays broke through a light mist.  My breath formed tiny white-vapour clouds as I chuntered quietly to myself about being stupid enough to be here in the middle of nowhere in this freezing weather, this early in the morning. 

I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck while I waited by an ancient oak tree; its branches were bare and covered in a powdery dusting of snow as I scanned the hedgerows and the surrounding woodland fur my contact.  Skeletal-looking trees who were standing like lone sentinels guarding their fields cast long grey shadows as I paced with much agitation and the minutes continued to tick by while I got colder and colder despite the suns continued efforts to rise.  Finally deciding that something must be wrong I put in my headset and contacted Control.

"Control, this is Agent Basil, my C.I. hasn't arrived and I'm getting worried," I said into my comms unit. "Do mew have satellite surveillance on my position?"

"This is Control, copy that Agent Basil, we're checking your local now," a voice replied in a rather efficient manner.

A few moments later my comms crackled and the voice said, "Agent Basil we're zooming in on your position now..."

"Copy that," I replied as I paced around the tree again, the icy ground crunching loudly with each step.

"It would seem that mew have several unknowns surrounding your current local," there was a brief pause. "Our thermal cameras are picking up eight unknowns and your C.I. is nowhere to be seen."

I pondered this fur a second. "Can mew zoom in on my guests and give me an indication of who they are?"

"Yes sir, switching to normal vision now... zooming in now!"  the voice said.

"Good," I answered, a little anxious as to whom else would be out here, at his unholy hour in the middle of nowhere when I just happen to have a scheduled meeting with my best C.I.

My comms unit crackled again. "Agent Basil, mew need to abort, I repeat mew need to abort the mission NOW!"

*   *   *

Present day

"Basil! Basil! Basil!" Smoochie almost screamed as he hurtled into the control room in the [now not secret] bunker. He was breathless and looked most flustered as he slid to an ungainly halt next to me.

"Smooch, dude, what on earth's the matter?" I asked.

"Heli... heli... heli..." he spluttered trying to catch his breath.

"Heli what?"


I stared at his upset expression with much perplexity. 

"There's a... F.I.B. helicopter... landing down... the field... Basil!" his voice trembled and he started to get really agitated.

"Little dude, take a breath," I said gently. "Now start at the beginning."

Smooch gulped several big breaths to no avail before he continued.

"Me and Parsley... down field... heard chopper... looked up... saw F.I.B. logo... began to descend... towards field," he said trying to catch his panicked breath. "Coming to... get mew... Basil?"

Realizing what he meant, I stared wide-eyed at him.  "Coming to get me, fur what?" I asked uncertainly. "Smooch mew know I retired a long time ago, I'm done with that life."

"But what if..." Smoochie choked the wurds out.

"Smooch there's no what-ifs, especially if mew and the rest of the hoard aren't included, mew know that!" I said firmly. "Comprende?"

Smoochie nodded and his tense grimace relaxed slightly.

Snowie was sitting quietly at the comms desk, listening intently but making no comment until several lights on the desk began to flash.

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"Basil, Parsley is on channel one," she said efficiently.

"Put him on loudspeaker," I said gently.

"Control come in, this is Parsley!"

"Parsley, we hear mew, what's your boggle dude?" I asked.

"I'm down the field and there's this dude dude, he says he knows mew... offur."

"Ask him his name."

"Copy that," Parsley answered before replying a few moments later. "Dude he says his name is C.J. Catkin."

Without realising I took a really sharp breath, the air made a swooshing noise as my lungs filled.  I exhaled furry slowly suddenly aware that Snowie and Smoochie were watching me with keen regard.

"Who the flip is C.J. Catkin?" Snowie asked abruptly breaking my mental revelry. 

I paused then said, "Parsley tell C.J. he has to wait by the chopper, furst we need an emergency meeting in the bunker.  Snowie get the team in here asap!"

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Minutes later we were all assembled in the control room.

Parsley held up his phone with a picture on its screen, "Do mew know this dude, dude?" he asked.
The B Team Classified Files  @BionicBasil®
I glanced at it briefly and then nodded, "Yes I know him!"

Six expectant faces stared at me, waiting for an explanation.  I took a slow deliberate breath as I organised the jumbled memories in my mind that had flooded in and ravelled my brain up tighter than a ball of wool in a catnip frenzy the moment I saw his picture.

"Back in 2007 I was wurking on a case, C.J. was a newbie at F.I.B. control but we wurked well together on many cases as he advanced through the Bureau, anyhoo I digress... this purrticular case was huge and another agency, The PITH or Private Intelligence Task-Force Headquarters were also investigating," I paused as I collected my thoughts. "Early one morning I was supposed to meet my best C.I. aka criminal informant fur the intel that would finally bring down a huge crime syndicate that traded in exotic animals."

Humphrey's hackles rose and he hissed angrily. "Did mew get those vile suckers Basil?"

I nodded and sighed. "Yes Humphrey I got them but the cost was high."

My six fursibs understood and nodded solemnly.

"That morning my C.I. neffur showed yet there were eight PITH Agents ready to ambush me!  Now to this day, I don't know how they found out about our meeting but they had nefarious intentions fur sure," taking a breath I continued. "Luckily fur me C.J. was at HQ in the comms room and without him alerting me to their presence that day who knows what would have happened."

"How did mew get away from them?" Smooch asked.

"Luckily I was trying out a new device called an i-MACK or Invisibility Mack, one push of a button and the wearer is rendered completely invisible and undetectable by any type of device including infrared, it was a great design and it wurked a treat that day enabling me to get intel from the PITH Agents without them having a clue!" I chuckled as I remembered how angry they were at my incredible escape. "I found out they were actually trying to stop me from closing down the criminal element as those eight agents were durty, corrupt muther-fluffers and they were on the payroll of the crime syndicate and didn't want their payday coming to a close, so that morning they had plans fur me plus they'd already found my C.I. and disposed of him that's why he neffur showed to the meeting!"

Horrified gasps sounded all around me.

"But where are those PITH agents now?" Amber asked.

I shook my head and shrugged, "As far I as I know they were squirrelled away to the top-secret maximum security facility located under The Tower of London, which I called; The Dungeon, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.  I will say this though, it was a most heinous and distressing place to be!"

"So why has this C.J. dude appeared today?" Parsley asked.

I gave them a grim smile. "After I left the Bureau C.J. ended up as The Primo Director of The F.I.B. but he was still an Opurrations Manager the day I left and he said to me; 'Basil if those PITH Agents effur surface again mew're going to have a huge purroblem, but don't wurry I've got your back no matter what!'  and that's the only reason I can think that he's here today."

"Mew think those eight pith-heads are out of The Dungeon?" Humphrey asked his hackles bristling again. "Don't mew wurry Basil, were armed to the teeth and dangerous as heck and we've got your back!"

"Yeah!" Smoochie agreed. "We're fast, furry and dangerous, those pith-heads have no idea what they're dealing with dude!"

 I gave them all a tight smile, nodded gratefully and said, "Look guys I'd better go and get C.J."

"We're coming too!" six voices said in unison.

"I have to do this alone, ok?" I replied. "But mew can watch me from here, get the drone out if mew like."

*    *     *

I emerged from the bunker entrance behind the summer house and stepped out into the fresh air, it was a cloudy day but still warm.  Birds twittered in the trees, bees buzzed zipping from flower to flower and the butterflies fluttered aimlessly as if they had all day to do nothing.

I walked down the field towards the chopper and saw my old furriend waiting patiently fur my arrival.

The B Team Classified Files  @BionicBasil®

C.J. Catkin hadn't changed one bit since I'd last seen him, apurt from being a little more solid, if mew get my drift.

I waved as I approached the chopper and he jumped down to meet me.

"C.J. great to see mew," I said extending my paw in greeting. "But it's a shame it's under these purrticular circumstances."

He shook my paw and nodded solemnly. "Good to see mew too Agent Basil, it's been a long time!"

I nodded. "Indeed it has."

"I'm sorry just to drop in out of the blue but I'm sure mew know why I'm here."

I nodded again.

"Those eight PITH agents busted out of The Dungeon a few days ago and we can't find them anywhere," he said gravely. "There's not one lead either and that only leads me to conclude that they're out fur revenge and mew my old pal, are their numero uno target."

I nodded again, already aware of all the implications of his unexpected visit, then I cast my gaze towards the briefcase he was holding rather tightly.

"C.J. we'll talk in the bunker and I'll introduce mew to the rest of the team," I said leading the way.

We walked in silence until we finally reached the control room and upon entering we were met by the team, all up and at attention, like the purrfect furry, fighting squad they were.

"C.J. mew've already met Parsley, he's our newest recruit," I began as we moved along the line. "This is Smooch, Amber, Snowie, Humphrey and Angel Posie."

C.J. shook effuryones paw until he got to Posie, he gave me a 'what do I do now' glance and I grinned.

"Posie is our Cloud Opurrative, she departed fur the rainbow bridge a while back but has managed to stay an active purrticipant in the corporeal wurld in her non-corporeal form," I explained.

"Oh fur flips sake Basil, just say that I'm The Phantom and let's move on!" Posie said brusquely.

"C.J. meet The Phantom aka Posie," I laughed.

"It's furry nice to meet mew Miss Phantom and I must say mew're the furst ghost I've effur met!" C.J. mused thoughtfully. 

Posie smirked and extended her paw.  C.J. tentatively reached out and touched her ghostly paw, his slipping right through it.

"Whoa!" he breathed shaking his paw. "That felt like voltage. Like a mini taser!"

We all burst out laughing and then I explained. "Posie uses an electro-magnetic field generator to make herself visible to us, she draws the power directly from that purpose built generator, show him Posie."

Bunker Background Images used with paid license from

Posie ambled to a glass box which appeared as if by magic from the centre of the main control panel, inside suspended mid-air was a gold metal disc that appeared to be rotating of its own volition.  Paw extended she reached straight through the glass and touched the disc, a second later her light body glowed a vivid gold and she seemed to pulse with the golden light.  

C.J. took a sharp inhale, "Oh my cat!"

Posie withdrew her paw and appeared even more solid than she had before.

"I can touch and feel stuff when I'm fully charged," she said smugly and then chuckled as she added. "The aftur-life has posed no challenge fur me!"

"I'm furry impressed," C.J. said in amazement and then turned to me saying. "Agent Basil, The Bureau could really use some of that tech if mew're willing to share?"

I shrugged and then said. "C.J. I'm not an agent anymore, mew know that!"

He took a slow, deep breath before answering rather apologetically. "That's the reason fur my visit, I'm here to officially reinstate mew. It's in your contract, Claws 10, sub-section 89J, paragraph 15, line 7."  He pulled a copy of my contract out of the briefcase and handed it to me.

The B Team stared in disbelief and then pandemonium erupted.

** And Cut **
It's that time, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC are mew really going to let yourself be press-ganged back into The F.I.B.?

Is Posie just floating around the ether, like all the time?

Can we get an i-Mack?

What's in C.J.'s briefcase?

Does this mean mew will abandon The B Team and go back to your old life?

How dangerous are those PITH-heads?

What lengths will the PITH-heads go to in exacting their revenge?


We're sure mew have many, many more but sadly we've run out of time today!

Many thanks for joining us for our epic re-run of


Don't furget to sneak back into the CLASSIFIED FILE ROOM for Part II on Monday!

Until then


Bestest purrs

Commander Basil 

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Wednesday 29 December 2021

Welcome to The BBHQ Midweek Festive News Round-Up ~ Festive Bandanas, Catmas Cards Galore and Guarding The Catmas Tree

Midweek News Round Up with The B Team ©BionicBasil® Catmas Edition

Festive Wednesday Greetings Furiends

Welcome to the BBHQ midweek news round-up!

We do hope mew've been having a wonderpurr festive season, ours has been really fun. The P.A. found a bottle of bubbles (champagne) in the fridge so decided that she needed to sample a drop before our guests arrived. Then Nanny and Grampaw arrived for Catmas lunch, and it was really delicious, Nanny had seconds, well it was another full plate because she was enjoying not cooking for a change, the P.A. didn't have room for seconds because of quaffing too many bubbles! MOL

Furst up in the news this week.

Last week we asked who mew'd like to see in our festive bandanas, sadly only Fudge and Melvyn were available to model, as Smooch and Parsley had gone a little recon mission down the field.

The BBHQ MidWeek News Round-Up ©BionicBasil® Melvyn Wearing His Festive Bandana

The BBHQ MidWeek News Round-Up ©BionicBasil® Fudge Wearing His Festive Bandana

The BBHQ MidWeek News Round-Up ©BionicBasil® Melvyn Wearing His Pink Festive Bandana

We think they both did an epic job of modelling, what do mew think?

And if mew like the bandanas, we purchased them from Eric's Empawrium, there's a little banner link and discount code in the lefthand side bar to his shop at Etsy.

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Next up in the news

Thank mew all for the absolutely epic Catmas cards which arrived by snail-mail, and thank mew for the e-cards and festive wishes! We printed out as many of the e-cards as we could but then the printer ran out of ink - typical - and the P.A. forget to bring supplies home from wurk last week - yes we have severely reprimanded her for the utter incompetence and she was put on the naughty list immediately.

The BBHQ MidWeek News Round-Up ©BionicBasil® The Beautiful Catmas Cards

Our kitchen is full of festive cheer, and we love displaying them all, even though Fudge likes to jump up everywhere and his giant floof has sent a few cards soaring, but they are soon returned to their rightful place! 

We do hope mew all received our card, which we sent by snail mail on the first of December and email last week. We also sent extra cards from the ameowzing website Jacquie Lawson just in case!

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And finally this week

Fudge and Melvyn were put in charge of guarding the Catmas tree, as believe it or not some paws were quite taken with all the shiney things! MOL

The BBHQ MidWeek News Round-Up ©BionicBasil® Melvyn and Fudge Guarding the Catmas Tree

They have been taking their duties very seriously, and are taking it in shifts to watch the tree, so far so good and no breakages, we may get through this holiday season scot-free yet.

Though it has helped by having our Cat Catmas tree available for twitchy, bored paws; watch Melvyn and Fudge have a little riot on TikTok! And most mornings the tree is stripped bare of all catnip ornaments and sparkly balls. The P.A. even found one of the toys in the bathroom this morning, so somepawdy had a bit of a pawty last night! MOL

The P.A. will be back next week with a brand new ghost story, and this is one from another house about 40 meters away from BBHQ, so don't miss that!

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That's us done for today, we'll be back on Friday with a surprise post and look forward to your company then, and if mew missed Smooch's epic adventure to the North Pole on Monday, click here. And we showcased our best boxes of all time on Sunday's post, do mew have a favourite box?

Epically festive purrs

Wing Commander Basil & The B Team 

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Monday 27 December 2021

**RERUN** Smooch Around The Wurld and Today We're Smooching All Offur The North Pole with Shadow as My Pawesome Travelling Companion

Woo Hoo Pawsome Pals

Smooch here, and how are mew doing today? How's your Catmas so far?

I thought it would be fun to share my epic festive adventure to the North Pole again with my supurr pal Shadow, so sit back, relax and let's get started.

 I'll be using the TTTB aka the Time Travelling Telephone Box to go on my little jolly's, so thank cod I won't have to use an airport as I don't think I'd get through security with all the extra covert hardware I travel with! MOL

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So where are we going today?

Today pawesome pals we're headed way, way, way up north to find the magical land of Santa Paws!

So with Shadow's travel card ready, I hopped in The TTTB and moments later landed in the front garden at Chez Shadow.

Now some of mew may not know that Shadow like myself is a tripod, tripawd, tripawed or 3 legged kitty - I'm sure there's some purrliticolly correct terminology to use but I always say tripaw! MOL 

So how epically epic, that not one but TWO tripaws head out on the adventure of a lifetime, OH MY COD it's gonna be so much fun.  

Anyhoo I digress, the TTTB landed in Shadow's front garden and I opened the door and let my terrific travelling companion hop in.

"Hiya Shadow dude, come in, don't hang about out there in the cold," I chuckled.

"Smooch dude, oh my cod!" Shadow said as he entered the TTTB and looked around the bridge. "Mew guys have the best toys effur, jeez I gotta sign up and join The B Team for sure!"

We paw bumped and I replied, "Dude we'd love mew to join, anytime just say."

"So Smooch what have mew got planned for me?" Shadow asked eagerly.

"Oh my cod, we're going up north to find Catmas," I laughed as I saw Shadows expression.

"Mew mean we're going to see Santa Paws?" 

"Yes indeedy we are, and mew just need to hit that red button and we'll be there in a jiffy," I answered.

Shadow peered at the red button and grinned madly. "Dude thanks so much fur this," he said as his paw came down hard and the TTTB vanished.

TTTB Launch Button  ©BionicBasil®

11.56733200098234444r seconds later we landed.

And this is what happened next... 

We tried snowshoeing but we both got stuck in a drift, it was hilarious; Note to self, tripaw cats can't snowshoe! MOL MOL  We fed all Santa's reindeer with some extra speshal carrots, they're the ones that make them fly, and the highlight of our trip was getting to go on the pre-Catmas test flight.

When I tell mew that sleigh is fast, jeez it's supurr-sonic guys; me and Shadow loved effury single moment and we whooped and hollered in delight fur the entire lap of the wurld. In fact we're surprised that some of mew didn't hear us! MOL

We definitely found Catmas and guys when I tell mew, Shadow and I had the best time, but we can't talk about the Catmas Casino incident with the mistletoe, the cat fairy and the sled aftur far too much catnip-nog [like eggnog only more potent] - needless to say we won't be invited back to that establishment anytime soon!! MOL MOL 

We both gave our letters to Santa aftur he hauled us free from another snowdrift, and said that he'd do his bestest to help as many shelter and homeless anipals as pawsible this year aftur he read our requests.  

And that brings us to the end of our adventure today and when I say what a trip, it was epically epic, it truly was!

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Thanks so much for joining Shadow and I on our epic northern adventure,and I'll be back before mew know it sharing another far-flung destination, so hope mew can join me.

And if any of mew would like to accompany me on any future excursions which no doubt will be terribly exciting, possibly a little bit dangerous [might be furry dangerous at times] and definitely a once in a lifetime oppurrtunity, send an email to:

deardrbasil @ gmail . com

With Smooch Around The Wurld in the subject line and a nice picture of yourself [which we can clip] plus your name, age and a couple of fun facts about mew, and who knows mew could be joining me on the adventure of a lifetime!

Until next time

Keep Calm 


Don't Furget Your Scarf 

Smooch ~ Wurld Traveller and Adventurer Extraordinaire

Festive Divider

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