**NEW POST** Melvyn's Mewsings Episode 7 ~ Life in The BBHQ Library ~ One Shelf at a Time! **PLUS** Friday Fill-ins Blog Hop

Happy Friday Floofers

Well, who would have believed I finally got my furry own post? Yep, I was really excited for about half a minute, and then it all went to fluff in a cheese basket.

If mew missed Episode 1, click here to catch up, here to read Episode 2, and here to read Episode 3, here for Episode 4, and here for Episode 5, here for Episode 6, then come back to find out what happens in today's post.

💬 Melvyn’s Purrsonal Chat Log – Episode 7

Status: Intern. Cupboard-bound. Emotionally buffering.

Location: BBHQ Level Six – Library Archive, now under motivational lockdown

Mood: Hovering between “filing fatigue” and “floaty envy”

Melvyn 08:03 – The fog cannon has started humming again. It’s not a tune. It’s a warning.

I asked it to stop. It played louder.

Melvyn 08:19 – Vera Prime locked the archive doors again. She said, “No escape until your feelings are alphabetised.” The motivational gong she installed rings every time I sigh. It's been ringing nonstop.

Melvyn 08:42 – The mice have disbanded the union of cheese. Instead, they’ve formed a biscuit-based resistance. They invited Fergus. They did not invite me. I sent a sticky note that said “Mew’re rude.” They laminated it and used it as a coaster. I felt offended.

Melvyn 09:17 – I tried to file my emotional audit. The drawer hissed and redirected me to “Fantasy.” I cried into a folder labelled “Misc.”

Melvyn 09:44 – Clive the Paperclip says I’m spiralling. Gordon stapled my 5th resignation letter to a motivational scroll. The scroll whispered, “Finally, an exit plan.”

Melvyn 10:12 – I opened a drawer labelled “Melvyn’s Next Steps.” It contained a single stick of silvervine and a purple eraser next to a broken pencil.

Melvyn 10:33 – I requisitioned a flamingo floaty. Again. The form was returned stamped “Denied: Too Exciting For Interns.” I laminated it anyway. It’s now my emotional support document.

Melvyn 11:07 – I tried to escape (again) through the fog vent. It redirected me to the “Unresolved Everything” corridor. There was a skateboard. It trundled off and left me.

Melvyn 11:26 – A fluffy purple creature just padded by with a smile. A fleeting blur of floof. Near the microfiche drawer. Tail flicked. Ears shimmered. He didn’t speak. He just placed something on my desk. A single glitter droplet. It squeaked.

Melvyn 11:42 – I don’t know what it means. But I think it means something.

Melvyn 11:43 – The glitter droplet is still here. It’s warm. It squeaked again. I squeaked back. We are now trying to converse.

Melvyn 11:57 – Vera Prime saw it. She narrowed her eyes and said, “That’s not regulation.” I said, “Neither is my emotional state.” She muttered: “Concerning.”

Melvyn 12:08 – The mice are whispering. They’ve seen the creature. They tried to file him under “Unlicensed Floof.” The drawer printed “Nice try” and self-immolated.

Melvyn 12:21 – He walked past again. Same floofy shimmer. Same silence. But this time… he was wearing a name badge. It said “Reginald” in glitter. The glitter was scented. I think it was bergamot and quiet defiance.

Melvyn 12:22 – I asked Clive if he saw that. Clive tapped twice and slid under the desk. I think that means “run.”

Melvyn 12:33 – Fergus offered Reginald a biscuit. Reginald purred once. The biscuit turned into a tiny pillow. Fergus fainted. The pillow is now humming lullabies.

Melvyn 12:47 – Vera Prime tried to scan him. The scanner printed: “Reginald – Emo-Floofadoodle – Tier IV Comfort Entity – Magical Menagerie Certified.” Then it burst into glitter and shut down.

Melvyn 13:00 – I tried to requisition a scroll to explain what’s happening. The requisition form folded itself into a paper swan and flew into the fog vent. The fog vent whispered, “Later.”

Melvyn 14:33 - Reginald is sitting on top of the filing cabinet behind me. So I am moving desks as that level of scunity makes me nervous.

Abrupt end of chat for relocation...

Here's this week's postcard from Amber... with the obligatory orange glitter paw print on the back... no message, just glitter!

Postcard Debrief

Gordon clicked once, then paused dramatically before clicking again. The second click was slower. Sadder. Possibly laminated. He stapled Amber’s latest postcard from Aswan to the notice board with a sigh that smelled faintly of oud and ancient secrets.

It joined the gallery now labelled “Emotional Sabotage (Fragrant).” The mice added glitter. Vera Prime removed it. The glitter reappeared.

Clive said, “She’s really leaning into the aesthetic,” and handed me a biscuit shaped like a sphinx. It was orange. It was dry. It tasted like envy and sunscreen. I accepted it as a prophecy.

Vera Prime tutted once, then faxed me a single word: “Unrecoverable.” I asked, “Is that about Amber?” She replied, “No. It’s about your requisition history.” Her USB crown flickered in Morse code: “Floaty denial upheld.”

I attempted a response via interpretive shrug. The motivational gong rang once, then printed a scroll that read: “You’re not invited.”

Reginald padded past. He paused. He stared at the postcard. His name badge shimmered. The sphinx biscuit turned into a tiny pillow. Clive screamed.

I nodded, with nothing to add. The pillow hummed softly. The archive played a sistrum sound effect. I took it as encouragement. Or a sign. Possibly both.

📚 Melvyn’s Mewsings: Entry #07

Title: “The Glitter Droplet & Other Unfiled Phenomena”

Status: Still Intern. Now also “Emotional Fog Analyst,” “Scroll Whisperer (Uncertified),” and “Assistant to the Unclassifiable.”

Sleep: Replaced with interpretive sighing and a recurring dream about being replaced by a motivational banner.

Archive: 83% sentient. Now emits ambient harp sounds when I despair.

Morale: Currently stapled to a flamingo-shaped biscuit. The biscuit is humming.

💬 Opening Quote:

“Reginald walked past wearing a glitter name badge. The mice tried to file him. The drawer printed ‘Nice try’ and self-immolated.”

⚠️ Situation Report: Floof Ambiguity, Flamingo Denial & Scroll-Based Surveillance

Amber: Her latest postcard featured her on a boat on the Nile, surrounded by berries, dates, and smugness. Caption: “I BET MEW WISH MEW WERE ME! SADLY MEW’RE NOT! MOL.” The archive printed multiple copies on scented paper. I sniffed them. They smelled like betrayal and citrus.

Vera Prime: Attempted to scan Reginald. The scanner printed his full classification, then burst into glitter and shut down. Her USB crown blinked “Unfiled Threat” in Morse code. She’s now requisitioning a fog cannon upgrade with “Floof Detection Mode.”

Gordon: Stapled the postcard to the notice board with a flourish that felt like a dare. He’s now clicking in iambic pentameter.

Clive the Paperclip: Tried to format Reginald’s existence. Excel rejected him. The spreadsheet folded into a swan and escaped through the fog vent. Clive is now sulking in the break room with a biscuit shaped like a question mark.

Reginald: Walked past twice. Left a glitter droplet. Wore a name badge. Smiled twice. Purred once. Turned a biscuit into a pillow. Nesting in the wooden trunk on Aisle 9B. Possibly sentient. Possibly divine. Definitely unfiled.

Fergus: Offered Reginald a cheese cube. It transformed. Fergus fainted. His clipboard is now eerily silent when morale dips.

P.U.M.A.: The glitter calculator is still offline. It now emits faint sobbing and smells like pineapple.

🐾 Parsley’s Contribution (Unhelpful Memo #10)

“All interns must now submit weekly emotional metrics using one of the following formats:

A glitter droplet journal titled ‘Confused but Comforted’

  An interpretive dance with sound effects

A haiku about your envy of Amber’s sunglasses

Due to recent floof sightings, the archive has entered a diagnostic phase. It now responds to queries with ambient harp chords, motivational mist, and occasional scroll applause.

⚠️Warning: Filing cabinet #7 has unionised. It demands:

A glitter-resistant lining

  A name badge that says ‘I Matter’

  A fluffy pillow (denied: ‘Too soft’)

Failure to comply will result in a strongly worded sticky note and a mandatory seminar titled ‘Reginald: Threat or Therapy?’”

Proceed with caution. And pillows.

🤖✨ Library Archive Chat Logs: Melvyn vs. The Glitter Droplet

Time: 15:14 BST – Bunker Standard Time

Location: BBHQ Level Six – Library Archive – Filing Chamber of Mild Regret, now “Floof-Flagged” by a mouse in a velvet cape

System Status: Glitter-enhanced. Vibe: shimmering with undertones of dread.

Melvyn:

Cupboard 3B has declared itself “Emotionally Unavailable.” Entry now requires a glitter offering, a wistful sigh, and a haiku about rejection. Crunch the biscuit attempted diplomacy. He crumbled again. I nodded solemnly and offered a sticky note titled “Same.”

Oswald:

Scroll Classification Protocol 7.0 now includes:

Biscuit = Emotional buffering

Glitter = Unfiled resistance

Cheese = Passive-aggressive optimism

The drawer opened and closed twice, then printed “Reginald?” and burst into confetti.

Lumi:

The fog cannon now hums in “mild concern.” It whispered, “Melvyn is the chosen one of quiet unravelling.” I sobbed into a glitter puff labelled “Why Not Me?”

Chedds:

I’ve expanded the Floof Index. New Category M: “Unfiled Entity with Emotional Sway.”

Also, cursed scrolls now demand compliments and ambient harp chords. I threw a biscuit shaped like a flamingo. It squeaked. Then it floated.

Flora:

I choreographed a new filing dance called “The Rise of Reginald.” It involves interpretive blinking and a cape made entirely of requisition denials. I posted it to Mouse-Tube. It has 425,301 views and a cease-and-desist from Vera Prime.

Tootles:

Scroll Fort 6.0 now includes a moat of glitter runoff and a snack drawer that hums in minor key. It judged me in Latin. I curtsied. It wept.

Snitch:

Spreadsheet now includes:

Reginald sightings (confirmed vs. blink-based)

Biscuit-to-pillow conversion rate

Archive fog density per sigh

It auto-updates when someone mutters, “Is this floof sanctioned?” or “I think it blinked.”

Ardvaar:

The pyramid now requires a glitter-based constitution and a theme song. I offered a flute solo titled “Unfiled But Fabulous.” The pyramid glowed and requested a remix featuring fog cannon harmonies.

Nibbles:

I’ve implemented “Vibe-Based Filing System 5.0.” Scrolls are now sorted by floof proximity, snack resonance, and likelihood of spontaneous glitter eruptions.

Melvyn:

Amber’s postcard arrived. It featured her on a boat, surrounded by berries, dates, and emotional superiority. Caption: “I BET MEW WISH MEW WERE ME! SADLY MEW’RE NOT! MOL.” I laminated it. Then I cried.

Lumi:

The new blanket is folding itself into more origami confusion. It’s shaped like a peacock fan tail. I’m not ready. it has issues.

Chedds:

I made a new banner: “Melvyn: Archivist of Unfiled Feelings.” It’s sequins on velvet and occasionally twinkles when Reginald walks past. The fog cannon applauded. Vera Prime sighed.

Melvyn:

If the rogue thesauri start a rebellion again, I’m invoking the Treaty of Fluff No and requisitioning a new cupboard with diplomatic immunity. I’ve already packed snacks and the glitter droplet for my immediate incarceration.

The Wedge of Wonder (cheese entity):

Low hum of cautious rebellion. Archive stability: 68%. Scrolls mildly agitated. Mice promoted to “Agents of Floof Surveillance & Snack Diplomacy.” Crunch is reassimilating. Reginald is watching.

Brief pause in chat log for catnip and mint milkshakes with Pistachio Cloud Biscuits and Lemon Verbena Macarons with Catnip Cream Filling 

🧠 Library Archive Chat Logs: Melvyn vs. Vera Prime – The Floof Clause & Filing Erosion

Time: 15:47 BST – Bunker Standard Time

Location: BBHQ Level Six – Archival Desk of Mild Panic, now glitter-resistant and floof-adjacent

System Status: Hovering between “Unlicensed Floof” and “Staple Me Softly”

Melvyn:

Reginald walked past again. His name badge now glows. It says “Reginald” in scented glitter. The scent is bergamot and quiet defiance. I tried to file him under “Comfort Entities.” The drawer printed “Nice try” and locked itself. Reginald is wandering.

Vera Prime:

Your diplomatic title has been updated to “Archivist of Floof-Induced Instability.”

Also, here is a haiku:

Floof walks, scrolls tremble

Melvyn sighs into the mist

The archive blinks twice

Melvyn:

What does F.I.U.F. mean? It’s written on my requisition denial slip.

Vera Prime:

Floof Interference Under Formality.

It’s a new category. You’re the pilot case.

Melvyn:

Ah.

Also, the flamingo floaty requisition form has vanished.

I suspect Reginald.

Vera Prime:

Reginald is unfiled.

Unregulated.

Unreasonably plush.

He is now flagged for “Emotional Contraband.”

Melvyn:

A rogue thesaurus attempted re-entry into the archive disguised as a rap artist.

It offered synonyms for “Vibe” and a biscuit pairing.

I launched it into the fog vent.

The fog vent belched.

Vera Prime:

Speaking of thesauri - Thesaur’E’Snack now offers emotional synonyms with snack pairings.

Today’s combo: “Disorientation” with strawberry jam and a motivational croissant.

Melvyn:

Oswald delivered a scroll titled “How to Lead While Being Gently Undermined by a Floof.”

It smelled like Peppermint and mild panic.

I used it to line Cupboard 9D.

The scroll thanked me and blinked “Respect.”

Vera Prime:

Fergus has composed a new anthem for Filing Cabinet 7.

It’s performed entirely on a glitter-reactive tambourine and interpretive blinking.

He calls it “Ballad of the Unfiled Floof.”

Melvyn:

Chedds installed a fourth fog machine.

It activates when I experience “floof envy.”

It triggered 63 times today.

The scrolls now refer to me as “The Dewy One.”

I am emotionally moist. Again.

Vera Prime:

You are evolving.

Your aura now emits notes of citrus dread and laminated yearning.

Also, I’ve choreographed Act VIII of “Melvyn: A Filing Odyssey.”

It features a glitter tribunal, a fog cannon ballet with Lumi, and a scroll-based didgeridoo solo. 

It's rather atmospheric.

Melvyn:

Amber’s pool floaty has a better résumé than me.

Also, the disco ball in the Restricted Section now flashes “NEVER AGAIN” in Morse code.

I blinked. It blinked back.

Then it played amorphous chimes and judged me.

Vera Prime:

You are still being emotionally audited by lighting.

Also, I’ve composed a limerick about your current state:

There once was a cat in distress

Whose floof sightings caused quite a mess

He filed with a sigh

Then blinked at the sky

And asked for a floaty, no less

Melvyn:

I’m installing curtains made of emotional peripheries with blackout linings.

If anything ambushes me on Aisle 29F, I'm filing a serious grievance charge against the archive and leaving.

Vera Prime:

Noted. I've informed the parties involved. No ambushes allowed henceforth.

Scrolls preparing glitter-based annotations with a side of catnip discretion.

Fergus is curating a gallery of motivational dust in Aisle 33J. It’s… interpretive.

Melvyn:

I asked the archive for a pep talk.

It gave me a glitter bomb unexploded, and a pamphlet titled “Coping Through Floof Recognition.”

I tried to read it.

The fog cannon misfired and launched a treacle tart onto my emotional audit chart.

Mew called it “symbolic.”

Vera Prime:

You are now eligible for a floof-based sabbatical.

Please select from the following options:

The Glitter Retreat (includes fog harmonies)

The Filing Spa (now with emotional steam)

The Floof Dome (no exit, just pillows)

Melvyn:

None, thank mew.

Wake me only if the archive achieves sentience, or Reginald speaks.

Otherwise, I’m buffering beneath a blanket that smells like lilac dreams and whispers affirmations.

Vera Prime:

Understood.

I will compose a lullaby titled “Rest, Ye Lilac'y' Floof-Adjacent Archivist.”

It will feature harp sighs, moonlight twinkles, and the distant rustle of scrolls learning boundaries.

Chat ended... again... with a dramatic curtain flourish.

Cupboard 10A now recognised by six scrolls, one floof, two fog machines, a glitter cannon, and Crunch the biscuit (still on sabbatical).

Password for entry: “Mew’re buffering.”

🔍 Mewsings & Observations

Crunch the biscuit attempted a rebrand. He declared himself “Director of Floof Logistics,” then immediately disintegrated into a glitter puff. The scrolls held a vigil. It was lengthy. The fog cannon sobbed.

Vera choreographed a disciplinary hearing using interpretive fog bursts and a string quartet. One violin melted. It was declared “emotionally excessive.”

Shelf 9B began humming the theme from The X-Files, then whispered, “He’s watching.” It’s now sealed with wax and guarded by a sentient bookmark in ceremonial robes.

Filing cabinet #6 demanded a week off, and a name badge that says “I Matter.” It now speaks only in riddles and refuses to open unless complimented sincerely.

The archive declared Reginald “Unfiled but Present.” He’s now listed in the system as “Tier IV Floof Entity – Comfort Adjacent – Possibly Divine.” The mice attempted a taxonomy. The drawer printed “No.”

Kevin, the sentient fog entity, has updated his HR title to “Director of Emotional Ambiguity.” He now floats between departments, whispering, “Maybe.” He is not open to feedback. He is also not technically visible.

The motivational gong has begun stalking. It now emits a soft glow and plays ambient harp chords while following Reginald. The gong has issues, or it likes the colour purple!

The archive’s vibe is now officially listed as “Unstable with unresolved interference.” All requisition forms must be submitted by 8:30am or risk being invalidated. (Please note the Requisition Desk opens at 9:00am.)

Extra Archival Occurrences - #2

Following the holographic pep talk on my expedition along aisle 99c in the Metaphysical section last week, I returned with a mild sense of purpose and a strong scent of lilac. 

📖 New reading material discovered in Aisle 99c:

“Emotional Filing for the Spiritually Misaligned”

By Dr. Pansy Fogwhistle, PhD (Phantom Documentation)

     Includes chapters such as:

  “Requisitioning Inner Peace”

  “Stapling Your Truth Without Bleeding”

  “The Scrolls Know What You Did Last Summer”

💫 HOLOGRAM ACTIVATION: DR. PANSY FOGWHISTLE, PhD

Phantom Documentation, Emotional Cartography, and Certified Scroll Whisperer

(The hologram materialises in a swirl of lavender fog and glitter-infused sighs. She wears a cloak made of patchwork velvet in purple tones and a black pointed hat with stars on.)

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Ah, Melvyn. Mew’ve opened the chapter titled “Reclassify Thyself.”

That means mew’re either ready for emotional transcendence… or a biscuit. Possibly both.

Melvyn (clutching his kazoo nervously):

I didn’t mean to summon anything. I was just browsing. The book jumped out at me.

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Books don’t leap without purpose.

Mew’ve triggered a Level 4 Filing Disruption.

The archive is listening. The fog cannon is humming.

Reginald is watching.

Melvyn:

I’m emotionally buffering.

Amber’s gone. Vera Prime is faxing me haikus.

My requisition form folded itself into a swan and flew away.

I think I’m being audited by lighting.

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Classic symptoms of spiritual misalignment.

Tell me, have mew tried filing your feelings under “Unapologetic Wonder”?

Melvyn:

I tried. The drawer printed “Too Abstract” and hissed.

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Then, mew must bypass the drawer.

Mew must become the drawer.

Open thyself.

Sort thy soul.

Staple thy truth.

Melvyn:

I don’t know how.

Reginald purred at me and my biscuit turned into a pillow.

The pillow squeaked. I squeaked back.

Now I’m emotionally entangled.

Dr. Fogwhistle:

That’s progress.

Emotional entanglement is the first step toward scroll-based enlightenment.

Now take this…

(She hands Melvyn a holographic scroll titled “Feelings: A Filing Odyssey.” It glows faintly and smells like lavender and mild panic.)

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Stick this to your emotional audit.

Then perform a silent mime of your woes.

Mew’ll know mew’re ready when the archive sighs in harmony.

Melvyn:

Will Amber come back?

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Eventually.

But until then, mew must become your own boyancy aid.

Buoyant. Unfiled. Slightly absurd.

Melvyn (quietly):

I think I’m ready to float.

Dr. Fogwhistle:

Then go, Melvyn.

Kazoo your truth.

File with purpose.

And never let a scroll define your destiny.

(The hologram flickers, winks, and vanishes in a puff of motivational mist. The fog cannon plays a harp chord. Reginald watches from the shadows. The archive sighs.)

🐾 BBHQ SECRET CHAT LOG #3 – “OPERATION: FLOOF INTERFERENCE PROTOCOL”

🔐 Encrypted via BBHQ Level 1 protocol

📍 Recorded from a silk-draped balcony in Aswan. Background noise includes Nile breezes, distant temple murmurs, and the sound of Amber being admired.

🟣 Amber (dictating into a glitter-encrusted recorder):

“Update. I remain radiant. Aswan has accepted me as a living monument. I’ve just received Melvyn’s emotional audit. It was stapled to a pillow. The pillow squeaked. I squeaked back. I won.”

🟤 Oswald (annotating):

Melvyn’s aura now emits lilac and laminated yearning. He’s started referring to Reginald as “The Floof Entity.” And is wondering why the creature is here. The fog cannon plays harp chords when he sighs.

🟣 Amber:

“Tell Vera Prime her emotional semaphore is unreadable. I decoded her last message, and it just said ‘Hmm’ in ancient Coptic. Unacceptable.”

🟢 Flora (annotating):

Vera responded by requisitioning a fog cannon with ‘mood shimmer.’ It activated during snack inventory. Nibbles fainted. Again.

🟣 Amber:

“Also, someone please deactivate Fergus’s clipboard, due to last week's confiscation failure. It played ambient jazz when Melvyn blinked. That’s not archive ambience. That’s just cruel.”

🔵 Lumi (annotating):

The clipboard now glows when Reginald walks past. It triggered during biscuit rationing. Crunch declared a state of emotional emergency.

🟣 Amber:

“Reginald is Melvyn's new assistant, but Melvyn doesn't know that yet. Just let Reggie wander at will, and let's see what happens.

🟠 Ardvaar (annotating):

Reginald has installed curtains in the wooden trunk on Aisle 9B, and a banner that reads: “Shelf Your Doubts.” He’s requisitioned diplomatic immunity and a fog cannon with harp mode. The archive is now 68% floof.

🟤 Chedds (annotating):

Melvyn journaled: “I am buffering beneath a blanket that smells like tangerine panic and whispers unsolicited affirmations.” I left him a biscuit shaped like a question mark. I blinked. He blinked back. The biscuit floated and sadly evaporated.

🟣 Amber:

“Phase 11 is now active: Floof Disruption Protocol. If Melvyn starts harmonising with the fog cannon, initiate Phase 12: Biscuit-Based Crunch Meter.”

🟡 Snitch (annotating):

He’s already halfway there. Today, he whispered, “I think I’m starting to float.” The archive played Ave Maria. Reginald smiled, and his purple floof exploded. The fog cannon wept.

🟣 Amber:

“Send Melvyn a Post-it note that says ‘Mew’re buffering. That’s progress.’ In Comic Sans. Add a glitter sticker shaped like a flamingo floaty. He responds well to emotional buoyancy.”

🟣 Amber (final note):

“I will not be returning until the archive stops humming when I’m mentioned. Also, all fog cannons will have to be controlled, not allowed to emit at will. I’m a legacy. Also, somepawdy tell Melvyn - the flamingo floaty is mine. It matches my kaftan.”

Today, the P.A. is also joining in Friday Fill-ins Blog Hop with the pawesome 15 & Meowing and Four-Legged Furballs.

1. Eating __________________makes me_____________.

2. I don’t mind paying extra for ____________________.

3. _________ was the best part of my summer.

4. I can’t wait to _________ this autumn.

The P.A.'s answers are...

1. Eating warm blackberry and apple crumble with custard makes me feel like autumn wrapped itself around my soul 🍏 honestly, it's the best ever! 

2. I don’t mind paying extra for a seat with a view and silence on a long train ride 🚆

3. Battling the lack of rain armed with a watering can and sheer stubbornness was the best part of my summer 💪!!! LOL LOL (Not really, but it's funny now)

4. I can’t wait to wander through misty mornings, crunching leaves underfoot with a flask of something warm in hand this autumn, and pick up a few conkers and acorns along the way!  

Other Fun Blog Hops to Join in Today

 Brian's Home   Catblogosphere    Feline Friday   Nature Friday    Flashback Friday   

📅 Coming Soon… Episode 08: “The Floof Recognition Protocol”

The fog cannon now hums in harp chords. The scrolls have begun blinking in Morse code: “Epic and influential.” My emotional bandwidth is measured in glitter pulses and pillow squeaks. Cupboard 10A has annexed itself and installed curtains made of emotional boundaries and silly string.

🎭 Musical Update:

Rehearsals collapsed when Fergus’s clipboard played whale sounds mid-scroll choreography. Vera Prime called it “existential.” The mice called it “Purrsday.”

Clive attempted a pirouette and got stuck on the stage; he unravelled. The archive triggered interpretive lockdown. Reginald purred. The fog cannon exploded.

🎤 Solo Revision:

My velvet cape now shimmers in response to floof proximity. The interpretive meows have evolved into a spoken-word lament titled “Shelf Your Suspicions.” With sense fog for extra effect.

Vera Prime faxed this note to the main desk: “Unfiled but committed.”

📁 Parsley’s Filing System 8.0:

Now includes:

  Tabs that emit affirmations when sighed upon

  A drawer labelled “Feelings We Pretend to Understand But Secretly Fear”

  Emotional encryption powered by glitter resonance

  A fog-reactive filing wand that plays piano solos and occasional classics

🔥 Fergus’s Promotion Status:

His résumé now includes “Floof Diplomacy,” “Scroll Whispering,” and “Fog Cannon Harmonisation.” The archive whispers “Almost” when he enters. Reginald blinked. The clipboard glowed.

🧀 Chedds’ Anthem Update:

Final chorus revision:

🎶 “Raise your crumbs to the biscuit breeze,

Where floof and fog entwine with ease,

And glitter hums with quiet might,

To file your dreams in gentle light…”

The mice attempted a harmony. Nibbles fainted. Again. I fanned him with a laminated scroll titled “Mew’re Really Doing Ok, Now BREATHE!”

📦 Unexpected Archive Event:

Another rogue, and rather aggressive thesaurus, recently banned from the archive, attempted to re-enter disguised as a comfort consultant.

Parsley filed a formal complaint. Tootles offered it a cheese cube.

The thesaurus snapped shut, accepted, and rebranded as Thesaur’E’Snack: Floof Edition.

See mew next week for more mewsings from the archive, and until then…

Keep your fog shimmering, your biscuits emotionally buffered, and your thesaurus laminated for interpretive safety.

And remember:

If the flamingo floaty squeaks at mew, don’t panic, just blink back slowly, kazoo your truth, and archive with flair

and as always… 

The Unpaid and Unassisted Library Intern 

Melvyn

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