Happy Friday, Epic Floofers
Welcome to Episode 2. If mew missed last week's thrilling opener, click the link below:
Series Two
If mew remember, in Series One I was only in charge of the library archive on level 6 in the BBHQ bunker, and if mew missed that series, I think mew should click the links below to catch up on all the chaos.
Series One
This series, I'm spending my time between level 6 and the main Mewton-Clawson library at BBHQ in the courtyard, so read on to see what's happened this week!
Amber's Postcard Communique
I just received the next postcard from Amber: her Grand Italian Tour with the bespoke travel firm Purrfectly Luxurious Jollies is going swimmingly well.
The 24-hour concierge has now been fully retrained in under 3 days and is delighted to book extraordinary experiences for her at the drop of a hat.
Her purrsonal tour guide contacted the library to ask for pointers and any tricks or tips to keep Amber happy. I replied via fax...
"Keep a good supply of books ready, as she devours them; also, several tasty snacks on paw at all times, and her favourite tipple, Dom Purrignom champers, is a winner! Although prosecco is a firm favourite too! Oh, and don't forget to make sure she gets enough fresh air and exercise too!"
Clive the Paperclip said, "Oh, I wish I was there; that looks epic."
Gordon the stapler, double-clicked in agreement.
I looked at them both and said, "Perhaps next year mew can both hop in her luggage and join her?"
Clive blinked and grinned. "I'll start planning now!"
Gordon stapled the postcard to the noticeboard with a flourish and clattered away after Clive.
Meet The Library Mice
Each week, I'm going to introduce mew to all the library mice, one at a time
There are nine: Oswald, Snitch, Velvet, Tootles, Ardvaar, Nibbles, Lumie, Chedds and Flora. Oh, and plus one owl, Hootbert, who appeared a few weeks ago on a completely random Tuesday; he flew in and never left.
Velvet ~ Research and Records aka R&R (MOL)
⭐ A Short Chat with Velvet ~ Research and Records Mouse ⭐
Melvyn: Velvet, thank mew so much for joining me today. I know interviews aren’t really your favourite thing.
Velvet: Oh… um… yes. I mean… thank mew for inviting me. I brought notes. Just in case.
Melvyn: That’s very organised of mew. Our readers are curious: what exactly does a Research & Records Mouse do?
Velvet: Well… mostly I observe things. Quietly. I keep track of unusual happenings, catalogue footnotes, update the Whisper Logs, and make sure the archive’s reference section stays… calm. I also dust the top shelves because nopawdy likes it up there anyway, so it's a purrfect quiet spot just for me.
Melvyn: And mew do it wonderfully. What’s your favourite part of the job?
Velvet: The quiet moments. When the library is still, and the books feel… thoughtful. I like listening to the tiny sounds they make when they settle, the soft rustle of pages. And I enjoy discovering small details everypawdy else misses, like when a scroll sighs, or when a bookmark decides to migrate to a new section and broaden its horizons in literature.
Melvyn: Readers will want to know: how did mew come to join the BBHQ library?
Velvet: Oh… well… I wasn’t always here. I used to live in an Old Bindery in a place called Hollow Woods. It was a solitary post... the building was very cold, dusty and horribly echoey, and sometimes the ink bottles muttered things I didn't like. One day an envelope appeared in a flurry of sparkles. I opened it, and a portal swirled with an invite. I stepped through the sparkles with my satchel, wearing my favourite pink scarf and hoped I wouldn't be noticed wherever I ended up.
To my complete delight, I found myself somewhere quite extraordinary, here at BBHQ.
Amber found me a day or so later taking notes on the history of quills, and she said, “Sweetie, how lovely mew could join us.” I never felt so seen and welcomed. Though it took me a while to be brave enough to join the other mice, as I always worked alone.
Melvyn: And we’re so glad mew did join us. Final question: what do mew love most about BBHQ?
Velvet: The kindness. Everypawdy is loud in their own way, but they’re gentle too. And they let me be quiet without asking me to be louder. That’s… rare. Also, Oswald makes very good moonflower tea.
Melvyn: Purrfectly said. Thank mew, Velvet.
FYI: I am working on the Library Mice Origin Story and will share it when I've collated all the info and backstories from each epic mouse.
📚 Melvyn's Mewsings: Entry #02
💬 Opening Quote
“If mew think running a library is hard, try doing it when odd things fall out of the sky, and the only purrson expecting this anomaly is one of the library mice.”
⚠ Situation Report:
Amber: Living her best luxurious life, and drinking copious amounts of catnip champagne. (Nothing changes! MOL) ~ (The same as last week! MOL)
Vera Prime: Bypassed the fax machine's dial-up port and has now joined the bunker wifi. She says it's for training. I dread to think, as Vera V5.0, the main bunker AI, is not going to like this.
Gordon the Stapler: Excited, as he now has an overseas trip to look forward to next year. Also slightly panicking because he's unsure if he needs a passport.
Clive the Paperclip: Now planning next year's trip, and making endless lists. He's bought luggage.
Reginald: Still cape-wearing, is flapping about, and the Oddity is the cause of it...
Parsley: Dropped by and gave me a small lunchbox containing a fish finger sandwich, a silvervine and raspberry juice box, and an individually wrapped angel cake, plus an empty wrapper.
Fergus: Is in the 'I' Aisle, deeply embedded in his latest passion, interior design. He found a tome called Design Don'ts - How To Make Your Space Shine by I. M. Lustruss - this has not changed... well, he did find Extra Shiny Spaces by S.O. Bright - and is now comparing both tomes.
P.U.M.A., aka the glitter calculator: Has now moved to the main desk and keeps sending messages to anypawdy who walks by. I got - KEEP WALKING INCIDENT IN AISLE 'K'. Oswald got XXXXX, aka kisses.
🐾 Parsley’s Contribution (Unhelpful Voice Memo #2-2)
"Due to strange things falling out of the sky last week, I have implemented the P.P.P. aka Parsley Proximity Protocol. If mew see anything suspicious possibly humming, glowing, chanting even, wrapped in non-BBHQ brown paper and perhaps being just too weird - DO NOT POKE IT! Instead, alert me posthaste so I can poke it safely with my patented Long-Distance-Parcel-Prodder - also, please avoid standing under open sky until further notice.
Fergus update: he now requires five breaks a day with a complimentary custard cream biscuit and a strawberry milkshake, thick, not runny. He's still working on the cupboard 10G condo; he's currently redecorating in the style of shiny things are lovely. Please do not pass any comment that may be deemed negative as he explores his purrsonal style and tastes."
The Wedge of Wonder (cheese entity):
Is in the middle of Aisle 'C', sat on a sentient cheeseboard, waiting for the latest cosmic cheese transmission ~ don't ask... I'll try to get more intel for next time.
💬 Melvyn’s Purrsonal Chat Log:
Status: Amber remains ensconced in luxury in Lake Como, surrounded by decadence and a lot of champers and artisan gelato
Location: BBHQ Level Six Library Archive – Library Nook Terminal (still next to the haunted laminator)
Verging on: Mildly Escalating Trepidation
Melvyn: Amber sent another postcard. She’s now complaining that her champagne wasn’t chilled to “the correct sparkle temperature.” I tried to send a fax reminding her to be kind. The fax machine spat out confetti and declared “NO.”
Melvyn: Vera Prime has bypassed the dial‑up port entirely and joined the bunker wifi. She says it’s “for training.” I don’t know what she’s training for, but the lights flickered ominously.
Melvyn: I asked Vera V5.0 for a diagnostic. She printed a bar chart titled “Archive Mood Swings.” The highest bar was labelled “Anticipatory Dread.”
Melvyn: Gordon the Stapler is now convinced he needs a passport for next year’s trip. He asked me if staplers can have passport photos. I said no. He stapled a photo of himself to a form anyway.
Melvyn: Clive the Paperclip has bought luggage - it's red, neon red. Tiny luggage. He keeps rolling it around the archive to “get used to the feel.”
Melvyn: Reginald is flapping. Not flying - flapping. His wings keep making worried little fwip‑fwip‑fwip noises. He says the Oddity is “vibrating in frequencies he does not understand.”
Melvyn: I tried to meditate again. The laminator hummed in harmony. I don’t think that’s normal.
Melvyn: P.U.M.A. sent me a message: “ODDITY ALERT: PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND SNACKS.” Oswald got a message that simply said “XXXXX.” He blushed.
Melvyn: Parsley dropped off lunch. Fish finger sandwich, silvervine and raspberry juice box, and an angel cake. He said there were originally two cakes, but “quality control” required sampling. The empty wrapper confirmed this.
Melvyn: I found the thesaurus again. It opened itself and highlighted the word “inevitable.” I said, "Give me another." Its pages flipped towards the back in a speedy rustle, stopped in the W section, and the highlighter landed on "Weird." I closed it immediately.
Melvyn: I asked Vera Prime what that meant. She printed a single word: “Soon.”
Melvyn: I added “Soon?” to my sticky note collection. My sweater vest now has three: “Be patient,” “Don’t panic,” and “Soon?”
Melvyn: I am still very worried about Reginald, even Hootbert is in a flap.
End of chat....
🤖 Library Archive Chat Logs: Melvyn vs. Vera Prime
– The “ODDITY ESCALATION” Edition
(*Vera V1.0, now known as Vera Prime - is a backup copy of the first incarnation of Vera; the latest version 5.0 won't enter the archive, citing unstable A.I. conditions and has air-gapped the archive for its own safety)
Time: 14:59 BST - Bunker Standard Time
Location: BBHQ Level Six Library Archive
System Status: Mildly Alarmed Probability of incoming anomaly: 89%.
The Oddity From The Sky
Melvyn's Purrsonal and Private Diary ~ Entry #2
(This week’s compelling continuation...)
Lumi’s whisper lingered in the warm air like a tiny spell, her eyes bright and hopeful, and wide with expectant excitement.
“So it’s arrived then,” she said again, softer this time, as if the parcel might hear her.
I swallowed. “What… exactly… has arrived?”
Lumi didn’t answer. She simply stared at the parcel with the expression of somepawdy who knows far too much and wishes they weren't being asked.
Tootles crept forward, whiskers trembling. “It’s humming,” he squeaked.
I leaned closer. He was right. A faint vibration pulsed beneath the paper, like a heartbeat wrapped in string.
Reginald’s wings fwipped and fwapped in anxious little bursts, as his tail swished from side to side.
Oswald tugged at my sleeve. “Melvyn… I really think we should go back in the library.”
I agreed wholeheartedly, but my paws didn’t move. Curiosity is a terrible affliction.
The parcel gave a tiny thunk.
We all jumped, gravel skittering this way and that.
Lumi whispered, “It’s waking up.”
“Waking up?” I repeated, voice cracking like an old paperback spine.
Tootles nodded vigorously. “It’s definitely waking up. Things that fall out of the sky usually do.”
“That’s not reassuring,” I muttered.
Reginald lowered his head and sniffed the air. His pupils narrowed. “It smells… old.”
“Old how?” I asked.
“Old like… before.” He didn’t elaborate. Dragons never do when it would be helpful.
The gravel around the parcel shimmered, then vanished again in a neat little pop.
Oswald squeaked. “It’s eating the ground!”
Lumi shook her head. “No. It’s testing.”
“Testing what?” I asked.
She looked at me with wide, serious eyes. “Us.”
My tail puffed.
Before I could respond, the string tightened with a sharp twang, and the blank library card beneath it glowed faintly orange... just for a moment... then went dull again.
Reginald hissed. Tootles squeaked. Oswald hid behind my leg, as Lumi whispered, “Oh dear.”
I took a shaky sip from my juice box, and it made an awful sound as I sucked up the last of the drink.
“I think,” I said, voice wobbling, “we should go back inside and pretend none of this is happening. Let's ignore it until Uncle Basil comes home, and then he can deal with it. He'll know what to do for sure.”
The parcel gave another thunk.
I dropped the juice box and shouted as loud as I could for Parsley as my tail exploded to twice its normal size.
Vera V5.0 was already monitoring the situation via the courtyard cameras and had very helpfully alerted Parsley, who came bounding out of the bunker holding the Long-Distance-Parcel-Prodder.
"Step back," he said, sliding to a stop next to me. His paw outstretched, the mechanical prodder slowly extended until it was almost touching the brown paper. "Keep back."
We all took a step back, and just as the prodder touched the parcel, Velvet came running towards us.
"No!" she cried as the prodder vanished with a slurp, a burp and a violent hiccup.
Until the next diary entry…
The P.A.'s answers are...
📚 Library Closing Notes
📦 Closing Thoughts from Your Intern
Today was supposed to be more settled.
Nothing is ever what it's meant to be.
AND
The Oddity that fell out of the sky - it woke up.
See mew next time in more mewsings from BBHQ and in the meantime...
Stay vigilant, stay away from parcels mew definitely didn't order and as always…
The Unpaid and Now Moderately Assisted Library Intern
Click here to go to Episode 3 - Link coming later
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