Welcome to
My other Professional Credits include:
NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.
Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:
Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
This is one of my cases via email:
Dear Dr Basil,
I know that your advice column is for cats, but I am truly a beyond distressed cat pawrent.
I am writing to you in a state of utter desperation. My cat, Alphonse, has a serious addiction to stealing jewellery. I can't even wear my favourite necklace without fearing that it will end up in one of his secret hiding spots or jewellery stashes. And just recently, he stole an antique diamond brooch that was a family heirloom. I'm beside myself with worry and frustration. Please, Dr. Basil, help me help my cat. What can I do to break him of this habit? Sincerely, A Desperate Cat Owner
Dear Desperate Cat Owner, I understand your concern, but I must admit, Alphonse's habit of stealing jewellery is quite impurressive. I mean, how many cats do mew know that have a penchant for diamonds and antique brooches? He's like the Pink Panther of the feline world! But I digress. Mew want to know how to break him of this light-pawed habit. Well, my first piece of advice is to invest in a good safe. That way, mew can store all of your precious jewels and trinkets securely out of Alphonse's reach. If that doesn't work, mew may need to resort to some tough love. Try putting Alphonse on a strict diet of catnip and cardboard boxes. This will distract him from his thieving ways and provide him with some much-needed entertainment. If all else fails, mew may need to seek professional help. There are cat therapists out there who specialize in treating feline kleptomania. They can help Alphonse get to the root of his purroblem and teach him healthier ways to cope with his rampant urges.
And the worst-case scenario, which I think will be the best option is to obtain a cheap box of trinkets and jewellery from a sale at an auction or a charity shop and leave these items for him to pilfer at his purrleasure, all the while keeping your precious items under lock and key. I hope these tips help, but remember, at the end of the day, Alphonse is a cat, and cats will be cats. So, embrace his quirks and love him for who he is, even if he does have a thing for diamonds.
Best of luck
(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)
Graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com