Monday 11 September 2023

CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma **FISH TANK FRENZY!**

 Welcome to 

Dr Basil ©BionicBasil®

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry
BSc (Hons) Headology  
Psy.D. Furry Logic
 MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I 
only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

Cats Have Purroblems Too with Dr Basil @BionicBasil® Find A Comfy Spot on The Couch

This is one of my cases via email:  

Fish Tank Frenzy!

Dear Dr. Basil

My hooman just bought a fish tank and filled it with tasty yummy morsels. They are all different colours and sizes, a most appealing array of yummable delicacies.   

He put it on the side table in the lounge, and now he gets upset when I sit next to it and stare at the swimming snack packs and paw at the glass. I don’t understand why he gets so uptight and furry annoyed when I sit on the lid and fish with my paw either, (the water is furry warm and nice too!) 

I am most decidedly foncused ?????  Why else would he have brought it, unless it was a self-service buffet for pour moi?

Yours all fished out and craving fishy-flavoured noms


This is my Expert Reply
Today I use the colour BLUE, as it is supurr calming and is just like the oceans ~ very Zen Harmonies. Therefore being the purrfect choice for this particular purroblem.

Dear Cleocatra

How nice to have your very own self-serve buffet in the lounge, with a vast assortment of swimming snack packs. Howefurr, I don’t think that was the purpose of the fish tank. Mew see, hoomans are furry peculiar and like to keep all kinds of things in tanks, such as: Spiders, Snakes, Lizards, Insects, and a whole array of other creatures (eeeeek!!!!)  I purrsonally find it quite bizarre, but who am I to pass judgement - Whatever makes them happy! For happy hoomans means a happy home, and a happy home means more love and attention fur us marvellous and magnificent kitties.

So I would suggest to mew, that purrlease by all means sit and watch the swimming snack packs, definitely NO PAWING of the glass though!  Mew may find it rather relaxing and totally hypnotic after several sessions, and that the experience enhances your Zen Harmonies furry well. Howefurr, DO NOT fish under any circumstances (fight that primal urge and resist the temptation to tickle your taste buds) as your hooman will most likely take great offence to this.

If, after this short conditioning programme, mew are still craving the taste of fresh sweet yummable fishies. I would recommend the following ideas to get your way:

A.)   Sit next to a can of Tuna/Sardines/Prawns (whateffur your chosen fancy) and meow furry loudly. Make sure the tin opener is right next to the tin. Hint hint! Mew can't be any more obvious.

B.)    If your hooman effur eats salmon or other fishies, sit right next to him and give him your most dazzling delightful purr and nudge frequently until he gives in and shares with mew.

C.)    As your hooman likes fishies, there are bound to be magazines lying around, and mew are a crafty little kitteh and have furry sharp claws, this is what I suggest:-  Carefully cut out the images that appeal to mew most of the types of fishies mew would like to nom (This is furry important: make sure they are not the same as the fishies swimming in the tank otherwise mew will look like a stalking homicidal maniac). Once mew have selected your pictures, leave them around the house in furry obvious places, as some hoomans may not get the message the first time around and will purrhaps need lots of prompting.  I would recommend leaving them on his pillow, in the bathroom, kitchen table, TV (Lick and stick to the screen - cat drool is a purrfect adhesive) and on the Computer screen too, also next to or even in your food bowl and don’t forget next to the kettle, that is a prime placement point.

D.)   If mew have any toy fish, leave these in prominent positions and meow loudly when your hooman is in the room and mew are sitting next to it, pick it up and drop at his feet. A gift for your hooman. Your human should reward your behaviour with a treat, if the treat is not fishie flavour, walk away in complete disgust. Repeat until your hooman gets the message.

Hopefully, a fishy wishy will come true for mew!

Cleocatra, I do hope that The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me ~ I'm available 24-7! (Please Note: Extra charges may be incurred for emergency out-of-hours service).

Yours most sincerely
Dr. Basil
@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.

Today's Moral Code is:

If mew can't fish, make a wish  ~
If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr

Dr. Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA

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(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)

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Graphics created with paid licence 


  1. I hope it works for Cleocatra, but it was rather unfair of her human to put temptation right in front of her!

  2. Truly, what a silly human to think the fish tank would remain unnoticed by the feline.
    Excellent advise you've dolled out, Celestial Dr. Basil.

  3. You're only doing what is natural and your mom should have thought of that.

    Celestial Dr. Basil always knows how to handle any issue.

    Have a fabulous day and week. Scritches to all the kitties and a hug to mom. ♥

  4. Not the wisest move by Cleocatra's human, but excellent advice from Dr. Basil!

  5. Something sure is fishy about that human!

  6. The advice is spot on. The human adding a top to the tank to discourage fishing would also be a wise idea.

  7. Oh, dear...let play Go know - that card game!

  8. I want my own smorgasbord! Err ... I mean, fish tank ... ~Ellie Mae

  9. Excellent advice Dr. Basil, we all do it almost Celocatra, we sure this will help ๐Ÿ˜ธDouble Pawkisses for a Happy Week ahead to all of you๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ’ž

  10. Angel Seney loved to dip her paw into my 55 gallon fish tank and grab one or 2 when I would be at work! Can't say she deserved any reprimand at all though, lol.

  11. fish tank = LUNCH BRAKE =snax in de waterz kewler ๐ŸŸ๐ŸŸ๐ŸŸ๐ŸŸ‼️๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ€

  12. Very excellent advice on such a fishy question xx


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