✨ This Week’s Intro ~ 72% Gouda‑bury Glee, 19% Festival Fatigue, 9% “Oh Fluff, Not Again!” Energy ✨
Hello again, my wonderfully pawesome and gloriously adventurous library guests,
The Mewton‑Clawson Library has officially entered Advanced E.M.A.S. ~ Extended Mouse Absence Syndrome, Stage Three. The Calmness Tracker pens have abandoned their serene aqua and are now glowing in a dramatic swirl of neon cheddar, moonlight blue, and “they’ve done WHAT now?” magenta.
Because yes… the mice were supposed to return from Mousecapade Under the Moonlight. They did not.
(And honestly? I should have placed bets!!! MOL)
Instead, in true L.M.C. fashion, they have once again flung themselves head‑first into yet another festival ~The Gouda-bury Festival, the ultimate mouse‑sized Glastonbury where squeak meets stage, cheese fuels the soul, and chaos is not just expected… it’s catered.
The fax machine delivered the news at 3:17 a.m., blinking like a device that has seen too much. The flyer was scented. The glitter was fresh. The cheese stickers were… numerous.
Hootbert has declared this “inevitable.” Melvyn has declared it “a logistical nightmare.” The thesaurus has declared it “gouda‑infused pandemonium.” And honestly? They’re all correct.
So here we are - the library calm, the mice festival‑immersed, and the fax machine bracing for whatever dawn‑o’clock communique arrives next.
The Cheese Era hasn’t ended. It hasn’t even plateaued. It has expanded, evolved, and now comes with parachuting gouda wheels, glow‑in‑the‑dark whisker rings, and a Silent Cheese Disco.
And mew know what? We’re just rolling with it now.
🐾 Amber & Melvyn: Gouda‑bury Festival‑Week Library Check‑In
(The library hums with faint echoes of distant kazoo choirs and the occasional whiff of brie‑scented optimism.)
Amber: “Melvyn… the Calmness Tracker pens are flashing cheddar gold.”
Melvyn: “That’s the colour of ‘they’ve gone to another festival.’ We’ve reached Advanced E.M.A.S.”
Amber: “Extended Mouse Absence Syndrome, Stage Three?”
Melvyn: “Exactly. The fax machine confirmed it at dawn: ‘Gouda‑bury Attendance Verified. Festival Season Escalation: High.’”
Amber: “I told mew they wouldn’t come straight home from Mousecapade.”
Melvyn: “They’ve gone full Gouda. DJ CheddarTail’s headlining the Cheddar Pyramid again, and Velvet’s apparently running the kazoo choir.”
Amber: “The thesaurus whispered ‘pandemonium’ earlier.”
Melvyn: “It’s jealous... It wanted to perform spoken‑word poetry in the Blue Stilton Tent.”
Amber: “Hootbert’s taken it well though. He’s perched above the encyclopaedias, muttering ‘No gouda shall go unguarded.’”
Melvyn: “Classic Hootbert. I found a glow‑in‑the‑dark whisker ring in the archives. I’m wearing it in solidarity.”
Amber: “Mew’re glowing.”
Melvyn: “It’s the festival spirit. Or possibly the cheese fumes.”
Amber: “Do mew think they’ll send another postcard?”
Melvyn: “Definitely. Probably scented. Possibly glittered.”
Amber: “I’ll prepare the fax machine emotionally.”
Melvyn: “Good idea. It’s still recovering from the Moonlight glitter incident.”
Amber: “Meanwhile, the library’s tidy and calm.”
Melvyn: “The kind of calm that hums with distant kazoo energy.”
Amber: “Tea then?”
Melvyn: “Lavender catnip, extra catnip foam.”
Amber: “And a tuna panini with shrimp?”
Melvyn: “Amber… mew read my mind.”
🧳 General Library Status Update ~ Gouda‑bury Edition Quiet Mode
The library has entered that peculiar hush reserved for Stage Three E.M.A.S. - Extended Mouse Absence Syndrome with added kazoo interference. The bunting droops in dignified resignation, the Calmness Tracker pens shimmer in cheddar gold, and the fax machine hums softly, as if composing its own ballad of abandonment.
This morning’s communique arrived with confetti stuck to it:
“Gouda‑bury Attendance Confirmed. Festival Season Escalation: High.”
Hootbert read it, sighed, and declared, “Predictable.” The thesaurus muttered “pandemonium… pageantry… preposterous.” Melvyn added another cheese sticker to the Solidarity Wall.
And the library?
It’s calm. Festival‑calm. Calm with the quiet confidence of a place that knows its residents are currently knee‑deep in glowsticks, kazoo choirs, and parachuting gouda wheels.
🎉 Calmness Tracker 3000 Update ~ Gouda‑bury Standby
Today’s fax reads:
“Recalibration at 84%. Ambient Chaos: Festival‑Grade. Awaiting Gouda‑bury Dispatches.”
They still refuse to elaborate. They still insist it’s “classified.” We still respect their multi‑coloured mystique.
Now, with the mice fully immersed in Gouda‑bury’s squeak‑powered revelry, it’s time to pad softly toward this week’s review - whiskers relaxed, tails steady, and ready for whatever cheese‑fuelled nonsense arrives after I've left for my annual vacation. Let's hope the mice get back in time!
1. My plans for August include more garden clean-up and writing the new B Team adventure - I just started chapter 3 yesterday... yep, and it's funny! LOL
2. I am a type go-with-the-flow-but-still-slightly-chaotic personality.
3. If cat fur were a currency, I would be rich. In fact, by now I'd be a billionaire, as would all of us cat guardians; no tech firms required, just cat fur! LOL
4. I can do a good impersonation of posh English, plumby. My impression days are long gone, though that one has never left me! LOL
Witch Slap
The Hollowbeck Paranormal Cozy Mysteries Book 1
🐾 This Week’s Paw‑Approved Pick:
So smooth your whiskers, settle into your comfiest reading nook, and prepare for a purranormal cozy mystery that is equal parts magical mayhem, sibling drama, and feline‑forward nonsense. Witch Slap is sharp, funny, and full of supurr-natural shenanigans, exactly the kind of book that makes me purr with wicked glee.
❓ What’s the Vibe?
Think
purranormal cozy chaos
It feels like wandering into a quaint English village, only to realise everyone has a wand, a secret, and a very flexible definition of “normal.” (Oh, similar to Mewton-Clawson, but we have weapons instead!!! MOL)
🐾 What’s the Story?
Enter her brother, affectionately known as The Ruiner - who appears on her windowsill one night… as a talking cat.
He claims a date with a witch went horribly wrong. Morgan, naturally, assumes he’s being dramatic. But family is family, even when they’re shedding on your duvet, so she agrees to help him find somepawdy who can reverse the spell.
Their search leads them to Hollowbeck, a tiny, magical town that looks like it was designed by somepawdy who loves tea, folklore, and mild chaos.
Cue the whisker‑twitching intrigue.
So she dives headfirst into Hollowbeck’s supurr-natural secrets, determined to find the murderer, uncover why she was summoned, and hopefully get her brother back into his inconvenient human form before he knocks something else off the shelves.
⚔️ What I Loved
✨ Tone & Style
Pawesome for readers who love talking cats, small town magic, and mysteries that make mew laugh as much as they intrigue.
📖 Final Thoughts
This is a furbulously fun book with sharp humour, magical mischief, and a mystery that keeps mew guessing. Morgan is a delight, Ruiner is a menace (in the best way), and Hollowbeck is a place I’d happily get lost in, preferably with a wand, a snack, and a niptini ready to pour.
A purrfectly enchanting start to a series I can’t wait to continue.
🪄 Summed Up in One Sentence
Witch Slap
Those were sure good answers and quite the photo fail too! Amber, I really enjoyed your book review sweetie, the book sounds really good!
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