CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma **TROUBLE DOWN UNDER!**

 Welcome to 

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry

BSc (Hons) Headology  

Psy.D. Furry Logic

 MS. Fuzzy Logic

MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master

AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

This is one of my cases via email: 

'Trouble Down Under!'

Good day Dr. Basil

Now we Aussie cats aren't in the habit of taking flak or bad vibes from nopawdy, not now, not ever. However, and this is a big HOWEVER, me and my furrmates have run into a bit of bother with a new rival. Our hooman, Shane has gone and got himself a gurlfriend called Sheila!  And she’s not fond of our sort, as mew can imagine we are even less impurressed with her. I mean come on, what’s not to like?  We are a gang of five furrsome, fan’cat’stic, furry felines, we are totally pawesome dudes, we hang out all night have a few spats and tumbles, rock in at dawn and want feeding. 

Now this is where Sheila is starting to infringe on our turf, she’s even in the bed when we come in. There’s no room for us anymore, and Shane says nothing, he’s like a love-sick puppy, and instead of leaping out of bed to feed us, he just rolls over and snores! SNORES if mew purrlease, can mew believe it?  (I couldn’t either!)

Before Sheila came on the scene he waited on us no matter what the time of day or night, now we just get left some crunchies in a bowl, and are told to help ourselves. The Bonza Bad Cat Crew doesn’t do Self Service. What do mew suggest to get our line of service open again?

Bonza Bruce and The Bonza Bad Cat Crew 

Sniffles the Snorter

Lemon the Likeable

Kyle the Cunning

Reggie the Relaxed

Ted the Tormenter 

(Furrborough, NSW)

This is my Expert Reply

Today I use the colour PURPLE, as it stimulates higher thought processors in the brain, and this colour is also associated with problem-solving and higher reasoning. Therefore being the purrfect choice for this purroblem.

Dear Bonza Bruce and the Bonza Bad Boy Crew

Thank mew furry much for contacting me about the distress in your domicile. Hmmmm…. I see we have a hooman impeding and infringing on the crew's time. This is not an uncommon purroblem. Single hooman gets a new hooman companion, and the new hooman calls the shots and your previously doting hooman suddenly becomes alien to mew in the ways that he/she acts. This can be furry distressing especially if the new hooman is not particularly feline furriendly. 

I think mew need to address the root cause of your hooman getting a non-feline fan as a companion. Perhaps Shane was feeling all felined out and needed a distraction, by getting a non-feline fancier, he is opening his horizons to new things such as getting a cold one from the fridge and maybe even, throwing another shrimp on the BBQ (I know all about famous OZ traditions like these because Cat Dad hails from that very place). This could be good in the long term; however, this doesn't solve your immediate woes, such as your sleeping arrangement and your feeding schedule, which I know is most important to one's well-being and daily sanity.

So we have established, that Shane got Sheila because there was a ‘lack’ in his life and now that Sheila is there, mew are feeling ‘lack’ in your lives. Shane's lack has been filled while your lack has been sprung on mew by him. It’s a classic rebound effect, his lack is filled and gone, while yours is suddenly a great big gaping chasm.

So my advice to mew is this; mew and the crew need to completely change your routine.

1.  When Shane is at home alone, make sure mew are with him at all times. No getting in his face though, shadow him in stealth or take turns between the five of mew, get a rota happening. But don’t put the rota on the fridge otherwise the hoomans will know something’s up.

2.  Only go out for brief periods and come back and check on him, sit with him and be supportive.

3.  Stop going out all night painting the town red and rebel rousing. When they go to bed, mew all go to bed. Make sure mew and the crew get down the centre of the bed. Mew must become an impenetrable feline wall of fluff. If Sheila complains or tries to move mew, hold fast, don’t break the line. This is vital.

4.  Stay there all night, no matter what. If one of mew does get moved, another needs to fill the gap instantly, mew need to be fully co-ordinated. 

5.   Make sure Sheila wakes up with one of mew on the pillow with her.

6.   Make sure Shane wakes up with one of mew on the pillow with him.

(Paws on the face and/or head is purrfectly acceptable in points 5. & 6. However do not engage in any hair biting or pulling, as this will severely weaken your new strategy).

7.  If they wake whilst mew are in the middle of any covert operations do this immediately: As soon as they start to stir make sure mew all start to purr in purrfect synchronicity, just a low soothing hum, the one that reverberates through all living things on a frequency undetected by normal hooman senses. This is an incredibly soothing sound should have them back in Snoresville before mew can say, Feed Me!

8.  When they do wake in the morning, ideally make sure that you’re full of beans and meowing, really get that pitch up and let them know mew’re all there. Hopefully, after a few days of this treatment, Sheila will start to warm up to mew guys. To win with Shane, win over Sheila. Be supurr nice to her. This will have two effects:

a.)    She’ll fall in love with mew all, and become hooman assistant #2

b.)    She’ll flee for the hills

So either way it will be a win-win for mew guys. If she stays, mew will have two peeps to dote on mew, and if she leaves, mew will have Shane all to yourselves again.  

I love it when a plan comes together! 

Your Zen Harmonies have been restored ~ PURRFECTLY PAWESOME!

Bonza Bruce, I do hope that The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me!

Yours most sincerely

Dr. Basil

@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.

____________________________

Today's Moral Code is:

~ If  your bed is taken over, take it back  ~

 

_________________________________

If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a brand new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr

Dr. Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA

'The Paw Print Seal of Approval'

Copyright and All Rights Reserved @ Dr Basil ~ Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic

Follow Us @BionicBasil®  at Instacat

And don't furget to subscribe and never miss another clinic 

Graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com 

CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma ~ **AM I COMPLETELY NUTZ???**

 Welcome to 

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry

BSc (Hons) Headology  

Psy.D. Furry Logic

 MS. Fuzzy Logic

MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master

AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

This is one of my cases via email:

Am I completely NUTZ?

Dear Dr Basil

Please can mew help me? I have a little purroblem, just a smidgen of one that I would like to put out of the cat flap once and for all! Mew see I’m getting on a bit and have always been an adventurous kind of kitty until very recently. 

It was like this; I went after this squirrel, it was one of those really noisy little nutters, big teeth and an even bigger bushy tail. Anyhoo, I digress, so one day this Nut-Job comes on my patio and starts stealing my nutz from the bird feeder. How else am I going lure those flying snack packs into my garden without nutz? So this cheeky little Nut-Job is there on the patio, big teeth and everything, really giving it to the bird feeder, trying to steal the flying snack pack bait. 

This made my fur bristle, my hackles stand on end, and my tail suddenly exploded into the size of a really good feather duster. I looked furry impurresive, I might add, all puffed up and looking uber mean and furry big. So I bounced, back arched and teeth showing towards this Nutz Thief, and I gave him my meanest glare, the kind of look that renders rodents rooted to the spot, quivering in their final moments. Mew would think it would have had the same effect on the Nut-Job, but no, this hubris arrogant Nutz Bandito turned and launched himself off the birdfeeder and straight at me, screaming his ear-splitting war cry. Now this is NOT what I was expecting, it really caught me off guard, and I bounced back a step, the Nut-Job saw this as weakness and leapt at me.

Well, let’s just say he came off far worse than I did, I chased him up the nearest tree, all the way to the top and there we stood, it was a stalemate, and neither of us was backing down.  He was chattering and gnashing his nutty little teeth, and I meowed my loudest, meanest meow as we swayed in the branches.

Then the hooman comes running out of the house, seeing me teetering at the top of a 50ft pine tree on a twiglet of a branch going berserk at the squirrel, she faints. I tried to do a double shufty and back down the tree to see if she was alright but found I was stuck, and that’s when it all went wrong. The Nut-Job lunged at me, I ducked, and he catapulted himself into the neighbouring tree just out of my reach. I was so furry angry at this I forgot all about my hooman on the ground in a rather inelegant heap.

In my total obsessive focus to bring the Nutz Thief to justice, I didn’t even see the big red truck, with huge ladders pull up as I was clinging to the tree. I never even noticed the ladders going up the trunk, I was so incensed with getting that cheeky squirrel, I was a gnats whisker away when suddenly I was grabbed from behind and thrust into a pet carrier and lowered to the ground by a fireman. I was totally outraged, I meowed by furry best caterwaul all the way down and was promptly rushed into the house and examined by a VET!

Now I’m being kept locked inside, and the Nut-Job comes every day to taunt me and steal my nutz, what do I do?

Yours most frustrated and ready to NOM that Nut-Job big time

Cecil the Destroyer

(Whispering Pines)

This is my Expert Reply

Today I use the colour TEAL, as it will quell the anger and dowse those ferocious flames of fury. In other words its purrfect fur this purroblem.

Dear Cecil

So mew are under house arrest, and the Nut-Job is free to roam and steal your nutz?  That is so unfair, I’m feeling your pain in my supurr plush bunker office - I’m in agony for you. So let’s cut to the chase and sort this purroblem out.

Mew need your outside privileges fully restored, and then mew need to ambush that Nut-Job and kick him to the curb asap, so this is my course of action for mew.

5 Steps to Freedom

1.   Make sure mew spend every moment with your hooman. Make sure mew sit on her lap at every opportunity and also that she hears mew purr, so do it LOUDLY.

2.   After a couple of days of uber clinginess and total devotion towards your hooman, mew need to change tactics entirely, so at this point, begin to spend your time in windows looking over the garden. She will soon notice that mew are absent.

3.   She will see mew sitting in the window, make sure mew are staring longingly outside. Give her a quick pitiful glance, stare at the floor, then slowly walk away and lie behind the sofa or some other suitable large and cumbersome piece of furniture.

4.   Repeat steps 2 & 3 until the guilt chip registers and is fully engaged, and she finally caves in and opens the door.

5.   Step through the open door, mew are free again.

  

On to plan B. ‘Dealing with the Nut-Job'. Now this squirrel sounds like quite a nutcase, so I think we need a nutty plan and out-nut the nutter.

Seven Steps to Jettison a Nut-Job

1.      Start by putting a few nuts on the ground and wait for Nut-Job.

2.      Follow Nut-Job in total stealth and find out where his hide-out is.

3.      Watch Nut-job, monitor his activities, and get a sense of what a Nut-Job does all day.

4.      Empty his secret nut stash from the secret den if possible and hide.

5.      Ambush Nut-Job at your furst opportunity after that. He will be so startled, this will give mew the purrfect chance to grab his nuts and run.

6.      Nut-Job may give chase, if so, head directly back to the house at high speed and taunt Nut-Job with the filched nuts through the window.

7.      This should incite the Nut-Job to behave so irrationally and crazy that your human will all the Humane Pest Control Peeps to come and remove the offender once and for all. Voila, your prayers are answered and mew have a Nut-Job free garden, plus the Nut-Job gets moved on to a more rural home, far, far far away from mew.

After applying these simple steps, mew should find yourself in back your Zen Harmonies Zone (Z.H.Z). in no time, and I would also recommend a few days of Purrfume Aroma Therapy (P.A.T.)  just to give mew that extra bit of relaxation purrfection.

Cecil, I do hope that The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me!

Yours most sincerely

Dr. Basil

@ The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.

________________________________

Today's Moral Code is:

~ 

~ Don't get mad, get even! ~

~

_________________________________

If mew can relate to Cecil's problem or feel that mew need any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil with your dilemma or email me directly, and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a brand new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr on

Dr Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ M.S. ~ M.A. 

'The Paw Print Seal of Approval'

Copyright and All Rights Reserved @ Dr Basil ~ Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic

Follow Us @BionicBasil®  at Instacat

And don't furget to subscribe and never miss another clinic 

Graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com 

CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma ~ **KITTY IN CONFLICT - DO I MOVE IN THE DOG HOUSE?**

 Welcome to 

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry

BSc (Hons) Headology  

Psy.D. Furry Logic

 MS. Fuzzy Logic

MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master

AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries, just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively, email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

This is one of my cases via email:

‘Kitteh in Conflict ~ Do I move in the Dog House?’

Dear Dr Basil

I don’t know if mew cover this particular field, but my purroblem is this.

Our new neighbours have a dog, they keep it outside so now I can’t go in the back garden anymore as it waits for me by the wire fence. While the fence is tall enough to keep me safe, that’s not the purroblem. The dog wants to be my furriend, like my furpal, like my bestie, mew know what I’m saying?  How would that look to my gang if I start fraternizing with the enemy?  My street cred would plummet, and my stocks and share prices would nose dive into oblivion.

I feel quite conflicted as this doggy is left on its own for most of the time, I’ve been watching mew see. The hoomans aren’t that nice, they just chuck a bit of food out, and that’s about it. So the doggy goes nuts when I go outside. His name is Frank, and he just yaps and yaps and yaps. I can’t actually get a word in edgeways!

So what would mew suggest is my best plan of action while maintaining my street cred and not being a total jerk to Frank?

Yours mostly conflicted

Darwin the Devious

(Padstowe)

This is my Expert Reply

Today I am using the colour ORANGE, as it stimulates creativity, and this colour is also associated with a new dawn in attitude. In other words, it's purrfect for this purroblem.

Dear Darwin the Devious

Nice handle btw, are mew really that devious? OK, good, because that will help mew tremendously. I say if mew feel that the K9 is lonely and has reached a paw out to mew, mew must do the honourable thing and take that lonely K9 paw and offer some comfort. Frank is obviously despurrate and in much need of company and because mew are the nearest mew are NOW his furriend.

As for your street cred and what your gang may or may not think about mew, is actually irrelevant. Mew sound like the type of kitteh that takes no nonsense, so I’m sure mew can handle the situation. However, one thing mew mustn’t do is end up alienating everypawdy.

Firstly, I suggest mew talk to Frank and tell him that mew can be his furiend, but he needs to chill out and stop his incessant yapping, there’s yapping, and then there’s yapping just for the sake of yapping. I would spend a little bit of time with him before mew go and meet your colleagues and do the same upon your return.

As Frank becomes used to your coming and goings, he should settle down and be more at ease in his new surroundings. Mew could even get him a toy to play with if mew think he would like that.  

As for your colleagues, I would actually invite them around and introduce Frank to them all, saying he’s your new contact and can offer a multitude of services that would be most beneficial to your group activities, I.E:  Mew could use him as extra muscle always a useful thing to have, or as a lookout, the choice is yours, but the possibilities are endless.  There are many positives to having a K9 on side, transport for one, heavy lifting is another, and I think that your furiends will see the benefits too, provided that mew offer them a purrfectly plausible explanation, mew shouldn’t have any purroblems or repurrcussions.

If Frank is presented in a way that is benign and non-threatening, with all your decidedly deviant skills, mew will have a win-win situation and be helping a fellow furiend in need.

Darwin, I do hope that The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me!

Yours most sincerely

Dr Basil

@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.

____________________________

Today's Moral Code is:

~ If a Paw is extended in need, take it  ~

 

_________________________________

If mew can relate to Darwin's problem or feel that mew need any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil with your dilemma or email me directly at: 

deardrbasil @ gmail.com, and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a brand new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr on

Dr Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ M.S. ~ M.A. 

'The Paw Print Seal of Approval'

Copyright and All Rights Reserved @ Dr Basil ~ Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic

Follow Us @BionicBasil®  at Instacat

And don't furget to subscribe and never miss another clinic 

Graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com