Welcome to
Happy Monday, furry floofers
Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone.
And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived.
But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.
Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:
Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry
BSc (Hons) Headology
Psy.D. Furry Logic
MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense
My other Professional Credits include:
NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.
I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.
Plus, I only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:
Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties
Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility
ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked
Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)
I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense
Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents
To help mew release all your stresses and worries, just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively, email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
To help mew release all your stresses and worries, just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively, email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email.
Mew can contact me directly at the following address:
DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com
So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.
This is one of my cases via email:
‘Kitteh in Conflict ~ Do I move in the Dog House?’
Dear Dr Basil
I don’t know if mew cover this particular field, but my purroblem is this.
Our new neighbours have a dog, they keep it outside so now I can’t go in the back garden anymore as it waits for me by the wire fence. While the fence is tall enough to keep me safe, that’s not the purroblem. The dog wants to be my furriend, like my furpal, like my bestie, mew know what I’m saying? How would that look to my gang if I start fraternizing with the enemy? My street cred would plummet, and my stocks and share prices would nose dive into oblivion.
I feel quite conflicted as this doggy is left on its own for most of the time, I’ve been watching mew see. The hoomans aren’t that nice, they just chuck a bit of food out, and that’s about it. So the doggy goes nuts when I go outside. His name is Frank, and he just yaps and yaps and yaps. I can’t actually get a word in edgeways!
So what would mew suggest is my best plan of action while maintaining my street cred and not being a total jerk to Frank?
Yours mostly conflicted
Darwin the Devious
(Padstowe)
This is my Expert Reply
Today I am using the colour ORANGE, as it stimulates creativity, and this colour is also associated with a new dawn in attitude. In other words, it's purrfect for this purroblem.
Dear Darwin the Devious
Nice handle btw, are mew really that devious? OK, good, because that will help mew tremendously. I say if mew feel that the K9 is lonely and has reached a paw out to mew, mew must do the honourable thing and take that lonely K9 paw and offer some comfort. Frank is obviously despurrate and in much need of company and because mew are the nearest mew are NOW his furriend.
As for your street cred and what your gang may or may not think about mew, is actually irrelevant. Mew sound like the type of kitteh that takes no nonsense, so I’m sure mew can handle the situation. However, one thing mew mustn’t do is end up alienating everypawdy.
Firstly, I suggest mew talk to Frank and tell him that mew can be his furiend, but he needs to chill out and stop his incessant yapping, there’s yapping, and then there’s yapping just for the sake of yapping. I would spend a little bit of time with him before mew go and meet your colleagues and do the same upon your return.
As Frank becomes used to your coming and goings, he should settle down and be more at ease in his new surroundings. Mew could even get him a toy to play with if mew think he would like that.
As for your colleagues, I would actually invite them around and introduce Frank to them all, saying he’s your new contact and can offer a multitude of services that would be most beneficial to your group activities, I.E: Mew could use him as extra muscle always a useful thing to have, or as a lookout, the choice is yours, but the possibilities are endless. There are many positives to having a K9 on side, transport for one, heavy lifting is another, and I think that your furiends will see the benefits too, provided that mew offer them a purrfectly plausible explanation, mew shouldn’t have any purroblems or repurrcussions.
If Frank is presented in a way that is benign and non-threatening, with all your decidedly deviant skills, mew will have a win-win situation and be helping a fellow furiend in need.
Darwin, I do hope that The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic has helped mew today, and if mew need any further consultations, purrlease don't hesitate to MEOW me!
Yours most sincerely
Dr Basil
@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.
____________________________
Today's Moral Code is:
~ If a Paw is extended in need, take it ~
_________________________________
If mew can relate to Darwin's problem or feel that mew need any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil with your dilemma or email me directly at:
deardrbasil @ gmail.com, and I'll get back to mew.
Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a brand new case study.
Until then, Keep Calm and Purr on
Dr Basil
Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ M.S. ~ M.A.
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