**TOP SECRET - DO NOT READ WITHOUT CLEARANCE**
CLASSIFIED B TEAM FILES
**2016 REVISITED**
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
The B Team is on a hazardous, deadly mission to save Mewton-Clawson. Can they do it?
Chapter Two of our epically epic and rather explosive report ~ only available here, for your eyes only in the CFR - Classified File Room, and if mew missed the last chapter, here's the link:
Chapter Two
Sticking it to the Bureau and a big surprise!
**And Action!**
"QUIET!" I yelled as my fur-sibs were all shouting at once.
"No way! Not fair! That's garbage! Basil would never sign that! It's a fake! It's a travesty!"
"Basil mew aren't going back, are mew?"
"QUIET!" I yelled as my fur-sibs were all shouting at once.
"No way! Not fair! That's garbage! Basil would never sign that! It's a fake! It's a travesty!"
"Basil mew aren't going back, are mew?"
"What will we do without mew?"
I was horrified, to say the least, when C.J. waved the contract in front of me.
"What is all this nonsense?" I asked, my voice hardened to steel.
I was horrified, to say the least, when C.J. waved the contract in front of me.
"What is all this nonsense?" I asked, my voice hardened to steel.
"It's in your contract," C.J. answered rather sheepishly.
"What's all this Claws 10 fluff mew just mentioned?" I asked. "I do not, and I repeat I do not ever remember signing anything that would give the F.I.B. any power to reinstate me after my retirement!"
C.J. took a weary sigh. "Just before mew left, all agents signed a new contract and Claws 10 was the addendum to the existing contracts," he said. "Look, here's your paw-print." He pointed to the back page.
"What's the date?" I asked.
C.J. looked at the back page before answering. "It says 25th October 2009."
"Give it to me," I said sharply. "And everypawdy clear out, I need a minute alone!"
"What's all this Claws 10 fluff mew just mentioned?" I asked. "I do not, and I repeat I do not ever remember signing anything that would give the F.I.B. any power to reinstate me after my retirement!"
C.J. took a weary sigh. "Just before mew left, all agents signed a new contract and Claws 10 was the addendum to the existing contracts," he said. "Look, here's your paw-print." He pointed to the back page.
"What's the date?" I asked.
C.J. looked at the back page before answering. "It says 25th October 2009."
"Give it to me," I said sharply. "And everypawdy clear out, I need a minute alone!"
The B Team trooped out into the corridor, followed by C.J., and I hit the button to close the doors. I just couldn't believe this was happening, not now, not after all this time.
Hearing the uproar breaking out in the corridor as my team began to verbally roast C.J. did make me smile for about sixteen seconds, and then I turned my attention to the task at paw.
I took the contract and sat at the centre console with my magnifying glass, reading the microscopic small print.
Hearing the uproar breaking out in the corridor as my team began to verbally roast C.J. did make me smile for about sixteen seconds, and then I turned my attention to the task at paw.
I took the contract and sat at the centre console with my magnifying glass, reading the microscopic small print.
"Fluffing fluff, muther-fluffer!" I spat angrily as I read the Claws 10, sub-section 89J, paragraph 15, line 7.
It said, and I quote.
'Any former or retired agent can be reinstated at any time by the Field Investigation Bureau at their sole discretion with no prior warning.'
'Any former or retired agent can be reinstated at any time by the Field Investigation Bureau at their sole discretion with no prior warning.'
It was that simple. I stared at the back page at my paw-print signature and then at the date and cast my mind back, trying to remember if I actually signed it or not, and to be honest, I really couldn't remember.
After several minutes of deliberation, I opened the doors and called them all back in.
Smooch cracked up laughing when he saw the metal bin and me holding a lit match to the contract.
It burst into flames a moment later, and I said. "C.J., I'm not being pressed-ganged... not by mew or the F.I.B., and this is what I think to your Claws freaking ten garbage!"
C.J nodded and said. "I thought mew'd say that."
The B Team whooped in delight as I stood my ground, saying. "I understand your position as Primo Director C.J., but mew should know better than anypawdy, if mew put a lever on me, a herd of wild horses won't make me do anything I don't want to do.
C.J. mopped his brow with a floppy red hanky and then blew his nose. "That's why I have a different kind of proposal for mew as my first exercise didn't work," he said and then carefully surveyed the rest of the team with a keen appraising eye.
"I'm listening," I said flatly, watching my fur-sibs' expressions, knowing that they were all as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
"Agent Basil, mew were our top operative for so long and no one knows the job better than mew," C.J. began. "Plus, mew were the only Agent to gain intimate knowledge of the rogue PITH Agents before their incarceration and survive, that in itself is a rare achievement."
I watched him thoughtfully as he took a deep breath and continued. "The F.I.B. needs mew to take down these rogue agents by any means necessary. If mew were to come back as an Agent, then any fallout would be down to the F.I.B., not mew purrsonally, but I understand if that's not what mew want."
I considered what C.J. said and replied. "Is there no one else to take those PITH-heads down?"
"No, not with your expertise and skills," C.J. answered. "I'd just be sending Agents on a suicide mission."
I knew he was right: agents today just didn't have the same 'grit' as us old-school hard cases.
I stared at my team again. Smooch was grinning like the Cheshire cat that got all the cream, the catnip and the mouse mousse. I could see a hundred scenarios zooming through his mind as he thought about getting into the FRAY!
It burst into flames a moment later, and I said. "C.J., I'm not being pressed-ganged... not by mew or the F.I.B., and this is what I think to your Claws freaking ten garbage!"
C.J nodded and said. "I thought mew'd say that."
The B Team whooped in delight as I stood my ground, saying. "I understand your position as Primo Director C.J., but mew should know better than anypawdy, if mew put a lever on me, a herd of wild horses won't make me do anything I don't want to do.
C.J. mopped his brow with a floppy red hanky and then blew his nose. "That's why I have a different kind of proposal for mew as my first exercise didn't work," he said and then carefully surveyed the rest of the team with a keen appraising eye.
"I'm listening," I said flatly, watching my fur-sibs' expressions, knowing that they were all as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
"Agent Basil, mew were our top operative for so long and no one knows the job better than mew," C.J. began. "Plus, mew were the only Agent to gain intimate knowledge of the rogue PITH Agents before their incarceration and survive, that in itself is a rare achievement."
I watched him thoughtfully as he took a deep breath and continued. "The F.I.B. needs mew to take down these rogue agents by any means necessary. If mew were to come back as an Agent, then any fallout would be down to the F.I.B., not mew purrsonally, but I understand if that's not what mew want."
I considered what C.J. said and replied. "Is there no one else to take those PITH-heads down?"
"No, not with your expertise and skills," C.J. answered. "I'd just be sending Agents on a suicide mission."
I knew he was right: agents today just didn't have the same 'grit' as us old-school hard cases.
I stared at my team again. Smooch was grinning like the Cheshire cat that got all the cream, the catnip and the mouse mousse. I could see a hundred scenarios zooming through his mind as he thought about getting into the FRAY!
Oh, Goddess Bast, have mercy on my soul for this!' I thought.
"C.J., I'll do this one job for mew," I said resolutely, knowing that if I didn't, we were all doomed anyway. "But there are several conditions or claws's."
"OK," C.J. answered carefully, removing a notepad and a fountain pen from his briefcase.
"First, there is no I, we are a team..."
Smooch whooped and high-fived the entire team before saying. "Yeah, we're a team, mister fibber primo boss cat!" he laughed.
I gave Smooch a 'that was a little too much, dude,' look before I continued. "C.J. the F.I.B. can hire us all, aka The B-Team, as independent contractors or clean-up facilitators to rectify your problem, but with the F.I.B. taking all responsibility for any fallout, casualties, property damage and the like," I saw the look on C.J.'s face as he paled. "This is not a negotiation, C.J., it's a take it or leave it offer!"
C.J. scribbled frantically on his official F.I.B. notepad before saying, "Continue."
"The F.I.B. will provide all the latest tech to be at our disposal immediately and also provide any assistance, vehicles, aircraft or other items that we may require to bring the PITH-heads in, including any specialised tech and weapons that are not common knowledge to the world at large, plus the use of any prototype gadgets or gizmo's that could assist us, agreed?"
C.J. chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully, paling further as he scribbled, and I added. "Mew will pay our fee fifty per cent up-front and the remainder of the balance upon completion within twenty-four hours of receiving our invoice, and any bounty bonuses for bringing in the PITH alive, agreed?"
I was watching C.J. intently as he chewed the end of his pen thoughtfully, and upon hearing this invoice claws, he inhaled sharply and nearly choked on it. Parsley gave him a firm slap on the back, and the pen flew across the room. Amber picked it up and threw it like a dart, and it landed nib first in the centre of his notepad, quivering slightly.
"Impressive!" he murmured and began to scribble his notes again.
"C.J., do we have a deal?" I said, wondering if I'd asked for too much, and then thought, nah, mew can never ask for enough from a government agency.
"C.J., I'll do this one job for mew," I said resolutely, knowing that if I didn't, we were all doomed anyway. "But there are several conditions or claws's."
"OK," C.J. answered carefully, removing a notepad and a fountain pen from his briefcase.
"First, there is no I, we are a team..."
Smooch whooped and high-fived the entire team before saying. "Yeah, we're a team, mister fibber primo boss cat!" he laughed.
I gave Smooch a 'that was a little too much, dude,' look before I continued. "C.J. the F.I.B. can hire us all, aka The B-Team, as independent contractors or clean-up facilitators to rectify your problem, but with the F.I.B. taking all responsibility for any fallout, casualties, property damage and the like," I saw the look on C.J.'s face as he paled. "This is not a negotiation, C.J., it's a take it or leave it offer!"
C.J. scribbled frantically on his official F.I.B. notepad before saying, "Continue."
"The F.I.B. will provide all the latest tech to be at our disposal immediately and also provide any assistance, vehicles, aircraft or other items that we may require to bring the PITH-heads in, including any specialised tech and weapons that are not common knowledge to the world at large, plus the use of any prototype gadgets or gizmo's that could assist us, agreed?"
C.J. chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully, paling further as he scribbled, and I added. "Mew will pay our fee fifty per cent up-front and the remainder of the balance upon completion within twenty-four hours of receiving our invoice, and any bounty bonuses for bringing in the PITH alive, agreed?"
I was watching C.J. intently as he chewed the end of his pen thoughtfully, and upon hearing this invoice claws, he inhaled sharply and nearly choked on it. Parsley gave him a firm slap on the back, and the pen flew across the room. Amber picked it up and threw it like a dart, and it landed nib first in the centre of his notepad, quivering slightly.
"Impressive!" he murmured and began to scribble his notes again.
"C.J., do we have a deal?" I said, wondering if I'd asked for too much, and then thought, nah, mew can never ask for enough from a government agency.
Pausing for a moment, I thought, Did I miss something, or is there anything else I should have added?
Then I said thoughfully. "I also want an addendum that if I want to add more to the contract, however bizarre it may seem to mew, I can, and there will be no penalties for this."
I knew I was pushing it, but I also knew that C.J. had nowhere else to go other than me.
He took off his flat cap, exhaled loudly and mopped his brow with a blue hanky this time, wiped his paws and re-read his notes. After a few minutes of silence, he addressed us all.
"Basil and The B-Team, I have considered your proposal and terms, plus calculated the risks. If mew will read and sign here," he proffered the notepad to me and tapped the bottom of the page. "We have a deal."
I took it and read each and every word to make sure it was exactly as I had said and not a slippery F.I.B. version, slash loose translation of my demands, meaning they could renege due to inappropriate phrasing or the like.
Squirting some of the ink from the pen on my paw, I placed my paw-print on the paper. C.J. did the same, and as it dried, he asked. "Can I get a copy, please?"
Snowie took the new, official yet unofficial, make-do for now contract and scanned a copy to our computer before printing one off for C.J., making sure the date and time were on each copy. Then she filed the oringal document. Plus, she took a photo of us together, both holding it just to be double sure, not that we're paranoid or anything.
"I will have to make an official one when I get back to the office, but this will suffice for now," he said.
I nodded, extending my paw, C.J. and I shook on it "Indeed, when do we start?"
At that moment, the ambient lighting in the control room changed from its normal serene-blue to a rather disconcerting red glow, and everypawdy exchanged rather anxious looks as this had never happened before.
I knew I was pushing it, but I also knew that C.J. had nowhere else to go other than me.
He took off his flat cap, exhaled loudly and mopped his brow with a blue hanky this time, wiped his paws and re-read his notes. After a few minutes of silence, he addressed us all.
"Basil and The B-Team, I have considered your proposal and terms, plus calculated the risks. If mew will read and sign here," he proffered the notepad to me and tapped the bottom of the page. "We have a deal."
I took it and read each and every word to make sure it was exactly as I had said and not a slippery F.I.B. version, slash loose translation of my demands, meaning they could renege due to inappropriate phrasing or the like.
Squirting some of the ink from the pen on my paw, I placed my paw-print on the paper. C.J. did the same, and as it dried, he asked. "Can I get a copy, please?"
Snowie took the new, official yet unofficial, make-do for now contract and scanned a copy to our computer before printing one off for C.J., making sure the date and time were on each copy. Then she filed the oringal document. Plus, she took a photo of us together, both holding it just to be double sure, not that we're paranoid or anything.
"I will have to make an official one when I get back to the office, but this will suffice for now," he said.
I nodded, extending my paw, C.J. and I shook on it "Indeed, when do we start?"
At that moment, the ambient lighting in the control room changed from its normal serene-blue to a rather disconcerting red glow, and everypawdy exchanged rather anxious looks as this had never happened before.
The early-warning air-raid siren automatically blared through the loudspeakers around the entire bunker.
(FYI, we modelled the noise on this siren because if anything is going to get your attention, it's this)
Press play for full effect!
(FYI, we modelled the noise on this siren because if anything is going to get your attention, it's this)
Press play for full effect!
Our furiendly A.I., Vera, then spoke in her odd, robotic voice. "Mewton-Clawson is under attack. A missile is inbound; immediate evasive action is required. Survival rate is less than five per cent if counter meaures are not taken within the next six minutes"
"Basil, what the fluff is happening?" Humphrey asked.
"Snowie, give me intel now, everypawdy on comms channel six, I repeat comms channel six. Amber, mew and Humphrey get down to Level Two and see what weapons we have for taking out missiles," I said urgently, my cold and calculating cool taking over automatically. "Smooch, get up top now, Posie, do your cloud thing, and Parsley take C.J., get down to Level Eight, Horice will take care of him and then meet me and Smooch up top!"
The B Team scrambled like a well-oiled machine.
Amber and Humphrey launched through the drop chute in the wall, as it was the fastest route to all other levels.
Snowie said. "Basil, the missile is two hundred and fifty clicks and counting."
"Keep me posted," I said. "Amber, what's the good news?"
The comms channel crackled, and Amber replied. "We are on Level Two, the computer inventory shows we have an anti-missile gun, which fires armour-piercing 50 cal rounds and is modified for shells too... Humphrey is in the forklift now!"
"We have less than five minutes to get it up top, armed and ready, get going... tick tock... tick tock!" I said.
"Copy that," Humphrey and Amber said in unison.
"Snowie, stats now."
"Missile is at 200 clicks and closing," she answered. "The drone has been deployed... mega-zoom activated... on screen in five, four, three, two, one... we have a visual."
I looked at the screen and was horrified to see a missile of unknown origin blazing its way toward us. I gulped and said. "Amber, Humphrey, give me news, stat!"
"The weapon is headed up top on the freight elevator, thirty seconds till garden breach, I repeat, thirty seconds till garden breach!" Humphrey answered.
"Smooch, are mew ready for weapon delivery?"
Smooch answered immediately. "Copy that... ready for delivery, bunker doors are open!"
"I'm on my way!" I said, racing towards the secret entrance behind the summer house.
I emerged into the garden just as the massive anti-missile gun and shells appeared on the shiny steel platform.
Snowie's voice sounded. "Missile is at one hundred clicks and closing... I repeat one hundred clicks and closing."
I loaded up four shells and said. "Snowie coordinates now... ready, Smooch?"
He nodded as Snowie said. "Southwest of your location."
"The weapon is headed up top on the freight elevator, thirty seconds till garden breach, I repeat, thirty seconds till garden breach!" Humphrey answered.
"Smooch, are mew ready for weapon delivery?"
Smooch answered immediately. "Copy that... ready for delivery, bunker doors are open!"
"I'm on my way!" I said, racing towards the secret entrance behind the summer house.
I emerged into the garden just as the massive anti-missile gun and shells appeared on the shiny steel platform.
Snowie's voice sounded. "Missile is at one hundred clicks and closing... I repeat one hundred clicks and closing."
I loaded up four shells and said. "Snowie coordinates now... ready, Smooch?"
He nodded as Snowie said. "Southwest of your location."
I zeroed in and could see the blazing fire trail hurtling through the sky towards us and yelled, "Smooch on my twelve, fire now, I repeat fire now!"
"Copy that, Basil!" Smooch answered as a manic grin engulfed his face, and he pivoted the gun around on its axis. "Target acquired, firing now!"
"Copy that, Basil!" Smooch answered as a manic grin engulfed his face, and he pivoted the gun around on its axis. "Target acquired, firing now!"
I heard the trigger click and braced myself.
** And Cut **
It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!
Such as:
OMC how could mew leave us hanging like that, and we've got a whole day to wait?!!
But seriously dudes, this no joke, what's going to happen if mew don't stop that missile?
Nice wurk getting C.J. to agree to all your terms, we're mew also a lawyer?
The PITH-heads have no rules of engagement. How will mew deal with that?
Will Horice really be ok with C.J. invading his private oasis without prior invitation?
What does Posie do in the cloud?
Can we get an air raid siren installed at our house?
etc...
We're sure mew purrobably have many more, but to be honest, we can't think of any right now, as we're under attack... eeeeeek!
Many thanks for joining us for our epic re-run of
FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS
Don't furget to sneak back into the CLASSIFIED FILE ROOM on Sunday for Chapter Three.
Until then
DON'T GO OUT OF THE GARDEN!!!
Epic purrs
Commander Basil
&
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