Episode Two: Squish & Squash ~ The Pom‑Pom Pair of Pandemonium
with
Fudge, Keeper of the Magical Menagerie, Floofy Ginger Overlord of Level 16, and Snack Acquisition Specialist
Greetings, my floofy furiends, it is I, Fudge, returning from Level 16 with another instalment of magical mayhem. Today's featured creatures are small, round, supurr squeaky, and responsible for at least four glitter‑related incidents this week alone. And not to ever be mistaken for a dog toy! MOL
Yes.
It's them.
Squish and Squash.
These rare pom‑pom beings were rescued from The Clockwork Labyrinth, an evil dungeon dimension, and a place where time looped. They arrived in a state of trauma, but after my dedicated and extensive rehab programme, they're bouncing, squeaking, and shedding sparkles like sentient confetti.
And now they live here.
With us.
Forever.
Bringing joy and mayhem in equal amounts on a daily basis.
If mew missed my first post.
Click here to go to Episode One with Reginald
And catch up on all the Level 16 stats.
🌳 Welcome to the Magical Forest on Level 16🌳
A place so enchanting, even reality takes a holiday.
Deep beneath BBHQ, far below the sensible levels where things like "logic" and "filing systems" allegedly exist, lies Level 16, home to our breathtaking, nanobot‑crafted 15‑acre Magical Forest, created specially for the refugees by Deezul the Badger, who tries to keep the nanobots contained. In this instance, he failed.
So, if mew've ever wondered what happens when ancient enchantments, rogue creativity, and a team of over‑enthusiastic nanobots collaborate … this is it.
This isn't just a forest.
It's a whole world tucked away deep inside the bunker.
Click the link to Episode One above to read more about this magical place, which, in all honesty, is the only place to be right now in this crazy world we live in.
Today's Creature Feature Stars?
Two pom‑pom beings of pure chaos and questionable wisdom.
Two squeaky spheres of delight and unquestionable loyalty.
Two puffballs who should never be left unsupervised with glitter, sentient stationary, emotional energy, or snacks.
Yes, my magical furiends…
The Pom‑Pom Pair of Pandemonium
Species: Pom‑Pomeranium Elementalis
Age: Unknown
Origin: The Clockwork Labyrinth
Current Status: Bouncing around Level 16 unsupervised (help)
Squish (pink) and Squash (orange) may look like harmless, squeaky pom‑poms, but do not be fooled. These two are:
fully fluent in human English
capable of performing mind melds like a tiny, fluffy Vulcan
able to share thoughts, memories, and even snack cravings telepathically
emotionally contagious (if they giggle, everypawdy giggles)
able to summon glitter storms with a sneeze
and somehow always in the wrong place at the right time
They were rescued from The Clockwork Labyrinth, as were all of the creatures that will be featured in upcoming posts.
Since then, they've become Level 16's unofficial cheer squad, chaos generators, and emotional support pom‑poms. They finish each other's sentences, and have the uncanny ability to appear exactly when mew say the word "snack."
They can also mind‑meld without warning, especially with me. Well, Squish imprinted on me in that terrible place, so that's that! MOL
One moment mew're thinking about lunch, the next Squish is staring into your soul, saying:
"I agree. Cheese is destiny."
And honestly?
She's not wrong, especially if it has catnip in it! MOL
📚 Squish & Squash's Official Duties (According to Squish & Squash)
1. Glitter Field Generation
They produce glitter.
Randomly.
Magically.
Emotionally.
Sometimes telepathically.
They insist it's "ambient joy."
Everypawdy else calls it "a cleanup hazard."
2. Mind‑Meld Monitoring
Squish & Squash perform spontaneous mind melds to "check the vibe."
This is sometimes helpful.
Typical results include:
announcing somepawdy's snack cravings
revealing secrets no one meant to think loudly
diagnosing "low sparkle levels"
declaring a "snack emergency" based on shared intuition
Melvyn has started wearing a tin foil hat. Yep, that's so Melvyn! MOL
3. Emotional Amplification
If one creature chuckles, everypawdy chuckles.
If one creature panics, everypawdy panics.
If one creature wants cheese, suddenly the entire forest wants cheese.
They call this "community bonding."
I, Fudge, call it "a problem."
4. Squeak‑Based Communication
They squeak.
They chirp.
They hum.
They harmonise.
Sometimes this is adorable.
Sometimes it summons butterflies.
On occasion, it opens portals.
We don't talk about that last one.
5. Glitter Storm Forecasting
Squish claims she can "feel the glitter pressure rising."
Squash nods solemnly and says, "Yes. A storm approaches."
They are correct approximately 49% of the time.
The other 51% of the time, they cause the storm.
6. Snack Surveillance
They know when snacks are present.
They know when snacks are nearby. Even hidden, just ask Basil.
They appear instantly.
No one knows how.
7. Cheer Deployment
When morale dips, Squish & Squash activate "Maximum Encouragement Mode."
This includes:
synchronised squeaking
glitter spirals and rainbows
motivational bouncing
unsolicited hugs
chanting "MEW CAN DO IT" telepathically at full volume
Melvyn cries. (Yep ... Melvyn can be rather sensitive!)
Vera Prime writes haikus about it.
Reginald pretends to be annoyed but secretly enjoys the attention.
🧀 Snack Preferences
Squish & Squash are enthusiastic connoisseurs of:
Anything crunchy
(If it makes a crk crk crk noise, they're already eating it.)
Rainbow sherbet drops
They claim these "enhance sparkle output."
No one has verified this, but the glitter storms suggest it's true.
Cheese puffs
Squish calls them "yellow cloud snacks."
Squash calls them "destiny."
Anything labelled "Not For Pom‑Poms"
They insist this is a personal challenge.
Emotional snacks
If somepawdy thinks about food too loudly, they appear.
Teleportation?
Mind‑meld?
Snack‑sense?
No one knows.
They also enjoy sipping sparkle‑berry fizz while offering unsolicited commentary on everypawdy's "snack aura."
🐾 Fudge's Personal Review
Squish & Squash are, without question, two of my favourite magical beings in the entire forest, and that's saying something, considering I live with dragons, sentient glitter, and a wardrobe that hisses at me.
They are pure bliss wrapped in fluff.
Chaos in spherical form.
Their auras glow depending on their happiness level
Emotional support pom‑poms with sometimes questionable decision‑making skills.
I adore them.
Yes, they shed glitter like it's a biological function.
Yes, they mind‑meld without warning and announce my snack cravings to the entire forest.
Yes, they once caused a glitter storm so intense that Basil had to wear goggles in the bunker for three days.
But they are also:
the first to bounce over when I'm feeling low
the loudest cheerers when I accomplish anything (including waking up on my 5th alarm, I hit the snooze button a lot! MOL)
the warmest, squeakiest, most enthusiastic furiends a floofy ginger overlord could ask for
Squish is the pink embodiment of "What if happiness had no brakes?"
Squash is the orange embodiment of "I support this idea even though I don't understand it."
Together, they are unstoppable.
They make Level 16 brighter, louder, sparklier, and infinitely more fun.
And even when they accidentally summon sentient glitter or open a tiny time-loop by sneezing too hard, I wouldn't trade them for all the smoked cheddar in Reginald's stash.
In short?
They are chaos.
They are comfort.
They are furmily.
And I love them with all my floofy ginger heart.
💥8 Quotes from Squish & Squash 🪄
"We don't cause chaos. It just happens." ~ Squish
"If the glitter moves on its own, that means it likes mew." ~ Squash radiating an orange aura
"We sensed a snack. We arrived. Let's eat." ~ Both, in purrfect mind‑meld unison
"Time is bendy. Snacks are constant." ~ Squish
"If mew hear squeaking, that's us. If mew don't hear squeaking… that's also us." ~ Squash
"We don't read minds. Minds read us." ~ Squish, glowing slightly
"Bounce first. Ask questions never." ~ Squash
"Glitter is not a mess. Glitter is a lifestyle. Glitter is a choice" ~ Both, while shedding sparkles everywhere
And finally
"Commander Basil is the Greatest!!!"
Basil sometimes gets a little fraught when they set off the alarms! MOL #OHDEAR
🔮 Coming Next Time…
Mew've met Reginald.
Mew've survived Squish & Squash (and the glitter uprising).
But now … something new is shimmering on the horizon.
A tiny purply‑pink and turquoise creature has been spotted flitting around the Magical Forest, humming softly and leaving faint trails of sparkles that smell faintly of stardust, frangipani, and optimism.
Allow me to introduce …
✨ Glimmer ~ the Whimsikin ✨
Small.
Soft.
Suspiciously sparkly and decadently pawesome.
And capable of vanishing mid‑sentence when emotionally overwhelmed.
Glimmer is gentle, curious, and possibly the most soothing creature ever to float into BBHQ, which is saying something, considering the competition includes lavender fog, enchanted scrolls, and Melvyn's emergency biscuits.
What adventures await?
What secrets does a Whimsikin hold?
And will Basil tolerate yet another magical creature hovering near the Control Room consoles?
Find out in Episode Three… coming soon!
Until then, my magical furiends…
Stay curious.
Stay chaotic.
And remember:
If your glitter twinkles, Squish & Squash are nearby.
If your scroll hums, Reginald's your dragon.
And if mew feel a tiny warm glow in your heart for no reason at all…
Glimmer has already found mew.
Until next time…
Snack responsibly, sparkle kindly, and never trust glitter without a teaspoon.
🐾 Fudge 🐾
Keeper of the Magical Menagerie
BBHQ Level 16
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