Commander Basil, the fearless feline leader of BBHQ, stands front and centre in a futuristic bunker corridor, dressed in full tactical gear that gleams under the blue‑and‑red lights. His black armour is marked with a bold yellow insignia, and his red beret sits at a jaunty angle, giving him the perfect mix of authority and swagger. The metallic hallway stretches behind him with reinforced doors, warning signs and glowing panels, setting the scene for high‑security operations deep within the BBHQ complex. To one side, a vending machine offers bunker‑approved snacks, while a mop, bucket and a “Cleaning in Progress” sign add a humorous touch to the otherwise serious environment. A large notice warns of temporal anomalies and forbids snacks beyond a certain point, hinting at the bunker’s sci‑fi quirks. Another sign restricts access to “Authorized Cats Only,” reinforcing Basil’s elite status. Bold text proclaims the bunker’s scale — seventeen levels, one commander and absolutely zero tolerance for accidental time loops — capturing the blend of humour, adventure and feline heroics that define Basil’s legendary bunker tours.

Welcome back to BBHQ, mew marvellous floofers

Oh, excellent timing, how did mew know??? MOL

Mew've caught me in the middle of a rather heated discussion with Fudge about the difference between historically significant artefacts and things mew can borrow for a bit of fun.

Apparently, the distinction isn't as obvious as I thought.

And before mew ask, no, I am not explaining why there's a medieval helmet in the snack lounge.

Not today, anyway!

Anyhoo, welcome back to the bunker, seventeen levels of brilliance, bedlam, and enough questionable decisions to keep an entire committee of health and safety inspectors occupied until the next millennium.

Previously, on Level One...

We began in my office, where mew saw the tapestry and a few rather interesting artefacts acquired during our travels. All purrfectly legitimate acquisitions, obviously.

Then we headed to the Control Room, where mew met Vera's judgemental humming, Snowie's formidable communications setup, the holo-table, and Humphrey's ongoing efforts to make absolutely everything more complicated than necessary.

And last time, we visited Pandora's Magical Apothecary, cleverly disguised as an innocent broom cupboard.

Mew survived the warding spells, the glowing crystals, the DO-NOT-OPEN jars, and Pandora's rather spectacular pocket dimension.

Well done, floofers!

I hope mew've all recovered.

Because today...

We're heading somewhere else on Level One, that most of the B Team walk past without giving it a second glance.

Somewhere that contains objects from distant lands, forgotten centuries, and a few adventures we'd probably rather not discuss in front of responsible adults.

Yes, my epically epic floofers.

Today we're visiting...

THE ODD STORAGE ROOM!

Now, before mew start imagining cardboard boxes full of spare stationery and outdated bunker manuals, allow me to assure mew that this is no ordinary storeroom.

Oh no.

This is BBHQ.

And we don't do ordinary, well, mew know that already!!! MOL

Some of the things in here are ancient and priceless.

Others are completely inexplicable.

And some have labels that say DO NOT TOUCH, which, as mew can imagine, have caused no end of trouble over the years.

But more about that in a moment.

First, please sign the waiver, read the pamphlet, and make sure mew've brought the anorak, torch and emergency snacks I mentioned last time - just in case. Also, a ball of string might be helpful to tie to the door handle and unroll as we head deeper into the room - well, I say room; I mean something a bit bigger!

Mew may also wish to check that mew're wearing comfortable footwear.

And no, Fudge, roller skates do not count!

⚠️ Tour Safety Guidelines

🐾 Don't touch the artefacts. In fact, don't touch anything.

🐾 Don't open any chests, boxes, trunks or suspiciously humming containers.

🐾 Don't try on the ancient helmets, crowns or ceremonial headgear.

🐾 Don't remove anything marked PROPERTY OF BBHQ, even if mew think it would look furbulous on your mantelpiece.

🐾 Don't press any buttons, pull any levers or turn any mysterious keys.

🐾 Don't attempt to decipher inscriptions out loud. We learned that lesson the hard way.

🐾 Don't feed anything that appears to be alive or sentient.

🐾 Don't assume something is harmless just because it hasn't moved for three thousand years.

🐾 Don't ask Smooch if he really knows the goddess Bastet. He does, and we'll never hear the end of it! MOL

🐾 And for cod's sake, if mew see a crate labelled DO NOT OPEN, do not interpret that as a purrsonal challenge!

One final thing.

If anything starts glowing, ticking, whispering, rattling, or moving of its own accord, please inform me immediately.

Do not investigate, do not poke it, and absolutely do not let Fudge anywhere near it!

Right then, floofers.

Stay close, keep your paws to yourselves, and try not to get separated from the group.

Let's begin the tour.

(A quick note from the P.A. - I included some of our epic blogging furriends today - surprise!)

🚪 The Door That Nobody Talks About

Right then, floofers, here we are.

Another purrfectly ordinary corridor on Level One. Regulation grey walls, with matching grey floor, and complementary grey doors.

Mew know the drill.

And tucked away just down this passage is a door that most of the B Team have walked past hundreds of times without giving it a second glance.

STORAGE ROOM 01

Nothing exciting about that, is there?

MOL! Oh, mew have no idea!

Now, mew might notice that the door looks a little older than the others, and that's because it is.

And mew might also notice the rather purrculiar notice underneath the room number.

PLEASE RETURN ALL ITEMS TO THEIR ORIGINAL CENTURY.

Yes, well.

There was an incident.

Several incidents, actually.

But we're not discussing those today.

Unlike Pandora's broom cupboard, there's no magical warding spell around this door.

No purple shimmer, and definitely no mysterious chanting.

Just a reinforced steel door, a security keypad with added biometrics, and a rather substantial locking mechanism that Humphrey assures me is completely tamper-proof.

Which is reassuring... probably!

Especially considering what happened the last time Fudge found a crowbar.

Anyhoo, this is one of the oldest storage areas in the original bunker, and it's been quietly accumulating the most extraordinary collection of objects for years.

Some of them are treasures. A lot are mysteries.

And some...

Well, let's just say their original owners might be rather surprised to discover where they ended up! MOL

Now, stand back a moment while I enter the security code.

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...

"PLEASE PLACE YOUR PAW ON THE BIOMETRIC SCREEN," a robotic voice said.

I pressed my paw against the cold glass as a beam of blue light danced across the screen.

"PAW-METRIC ACCEPTED!"

CLICK.

CLUNK.

Oh, that doesn't sound quite right.

CLANG!

Ah, there we go!

Right then, floofers.

Welcome to the Odd Storage Room.

And please, whatever mew do...

DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

Commander Basil stands in the gleaming metallic corridor of BBHQ’s underground bunker, the Level One signage glowing overhead as he pauses outside the mysterious Storage Room 1. He’s fully suited in tactical gear, his red beret angled with perfect commander confidence, one paw pressing a blue‑lit paw‑shaped access button that hums with bunker tech energy. The corridor stretches away in crisp industrial lines, illuminated by bright overhead lights and lined with pipes, warning panels and directional signs pointing toward key bunker sectors — the boardroom, control room, team stations, mess hall and the elevator deeper into the complex. To Basil’s right, the door to Storage Room 1 stands sealed beside the imposing Archive & Repository sign, complete with a stern warning about unauthorized access and the risk of temporal displacement. Paw‑print markers trail along the polished floor, guiding visitors through the bunker’s labyrinth of sectors A–D. The whole scene blends sci‑fi precision with BBHQ humour, capturing Basil mid‑tour as he prepares to reveal the secrets of one of the bunker’s most enigmatic rooms.

Towering steel shelves stretch as far as the eye can see, crammed with ancient chests, battered expedition trunks, mysterious wooden crates and artefacts from centuries long forgotten. Glass-fronted cabinets display priceless treasures, while enormous statues stand silently between the aisles, keeping watch over a collection that would make the world's greatest museums turn a rather fetching shade of green.

The air smells faintly of old parchment, polished wood, desert dust, machine oil, and something suspiciously reminiscent of three-thousand-year-old catnip.

And way off in the distance, something rattles.

Just the ventilation.

Probably! MOL

The moment the door to Storage Room 1 slides open, an immense chamber reveals itself — a vast, dimly lit archive stretching far into the distance like a secret museum hidden beneath BBHQ. Polished floors reflect towering shelves and glass display cases packed with relics from countless eras: golden statues, ancient globes, ornate chests, mysterious artifacts and curiosities that look as though they’ve been collected from every corner of history. Sections are marked by glowing signs — Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, The Medieval & Beyond, Asia, and Sectors A–D — each area overflowing with treasures that shimmer under the soft overhead lights. The scale of the room feels almost otherworldly, as if stepping inside means crossing into a time‑spanning vault curated with meticulous care. Every shelf hints at a story, every artifact whispers of forgotten adventures, and the entire space radiates an air of mystery, grandeur and BBHQ‑level secrecy. This is no ordinary storage room — it’s a sprawling subterranean repository of wonders, waiting for Commander Basil to guide visitors deeper into its enigmatic depths.

Just look at it, impressive, huh, and for Cod's sake, whatever mew do, do not tell anypawdy about this; otherwise we'll have every top museum in the world wanting to borrow stuff, and Pandora is a little too precious to let anything go out on loan right now as she's updating the catalogue, as we had a new influx last month.

Now, before we venture any farther into this labyrinth of lost treasures, ancient mysteries and things that should probably have stayed buried, let me introduce today's rather special guests.

We have four Very Impawtant Cats joining us on this supurr-top-secret tour, and I can assure mew they're in for a real treat.

Well, that's the plan, anyway.

Whether they still think it's a treat by the time we leave remains to be seen! MOL

Welcome to:

Celestial Katie Mackrull Precious Simon

It was Simon's Gotcha Day last week, so we thought, what a lovely surprise for him today... and if mew missed his special day, click his name above.

Before we head into the archive, please note - this is the only exit back to Level One.

Just inside the entrance to the Odd Storage Room, Commander Basil leads a small expedition team through a cavernous warehouse‑like corridor stacked with crates, relics and towering shelves of mysterious artifacts. Basil, dressed in his signature tactical gear and red beret, strides forward with authority, pointing toward an illuminated EXIT door as though directing the next phase of the mission. Behind him, four feline explorers in colourful jackets follow closely, each one alert and ready for adventure. The vast space is divided into labelled sectors — shelves marked for Sector 6 Artifacts, Sector 7 Artifacts and Command Base Space 9 — all overflowing with ancient statues, globes, chests and curiosities from countless eras. A large crate in the foreground is stamped with “Expeditions Maps Journals Equipment,” hinting at the team’s ongoing discoveries. Nearby, a display dedicated to Bastet artifacts features a photograph of pyramids and a note referencing a past expedition, adding a personal touch to the bunker’s archaeological archives. The entire scene blends adventure, fantasy and BBHQ humour, capturing the moment the team steps deeper into the enigmatic storage room, ready to uncover whatever secrets lie hidden among its endless treasures.

Oh, and I see mew're admiring the huge celestial fresco on the wall up there; it's magnificent. 6000 years old, depicting the motherland in all its epic glory! MOL

Just look at those colours!

Gold, lapis blue, and the most extraordinary celestial patterns, with ancient feline figures stretching across the heavens.

And before mew ask, no, we didn't paint it ourselves.

Although Humphrey did offer to install a few additional lights to make the stars twinkle.

I declined.

The last time he offered to improve something ancient, we had to evacuate three corridors and reset the ventilation system! MOL

Anyhoo, the fresco is one of the oldest pieces in our collection, and Pandora is still working on deciphering some of the inscriptions.

So please don't touch it, photograph it with a flash, or attempt to read anything aloud.

Especially that little bit in the bottom right-hand corner.

We haven't quite worked out what it says yet.

And frankly, I'd prefer to keep it that way!

Right then, floofers, follow me.

Our first stop is the Ancient Egypt collection.

And I believe Smooch has a rather interesting story about that... MOL!

Inside the depths of BBHQ’s Odd Storage Room, an enormous Egyptian‑themed chamber glows with warm golden light, dominated by a breathtaking celestial fresco that spans the entire wall. The mural depicts pyramids, obelisks and temple silhouettes rising beneath a deep midnight‑blue sky filled with stars, crescent moons and swirling golden constellations. Multiple regal Anubis figures stand watch across the scene, their forms outlined in shimmering metallic tones that catch the light like ancient guardians. Below the fresco, ornate crates and artifact cases are stacked neatly, each decorated with intricate hieroglyphic patterns and gleaming accents, as though they’ve been curated from millennia of expeditions. The polished floor reflects the rich blues and golds above, creating an almost otherworldly glow throughout the chamber. To the right, a modern metallic door marked “Storage Room 01” anchors the space back into the bunker’s industrial reality, surrounded by railings and bunker lights that contrast sharply with the ancient splendour. The entire room feels like a fusion of past and future — a secret vault where BBHQ preserves relics of civilizations long gone, with the celestial fresco standing as its 6000‑year‑old crown jewel.

Isn't it meautiful?

🐈‍⬛ The Bastet Collection ~ A Goddess, A Telephone Box and a Rather Epic Adventure!

Right then, floofers, if mew'd like to follow me along this aisle, we've got something rather special to show mew.

And no, mew don't need to bow.

Although I can understand the temptation! MOL

Now, feast your eyes on this magnificent statue of Bastet, the ancient Egyptian feline goddess.

Just look at the craftsmanship!

Deep within the Odd Storage Room, Commander Basil and his expedition team stand before one of the chamber’s most striking treasures — an enormous, gleaming statue of Bastet, the ancient feline goddess. The towering figure rises from a dedicated display area surrounded by Egyptian‑themed relics: carved panels, miniature pyramids, ornate chests and carefully catalogued artifacts that glow under warm, museum‑style lighting. Basil, dressed in dark tactical gear, stands at the forefront like a seasoned guardian of the archives, while the four colourful expedition cats gather behind him in their purple, red, green and blue outfits, each carrying backpacks ready for discovery. Shelves stretch high above them, packed with globes, statues and relics from countless civilizations, all neatly arranged under signs marking Sector A Ancient Civilizations and Sector C Artifacts & Curios. A plaque beside the Bastet display commemorates a past BBHQ expedition, adding a personal touch to the vast archive. The entire scene blends adventure, archaeology and whimsical feline heroics, capturing the moment the team pauses before the majestic Epic Bastet statue — a centrepiece of the bunker’s ancient treasures.

The polished black surface, the intricate golden collar, those purrfectly pointed ears, and that expression of supreme feline authority.

Rather reminds me of Amber when somepawdy forgets her afternoon snack! MOL

But here's where things get interesting.

Mew see, Bastet isn't just a figure from ancient history to us.

Smooch has actually met her - as I said earlier!

Back in January 2021, Smooch took our blogging pal Timmy on an extraordinary expedition to Egypt aboard Astrid, our sentient K6 Time Travelling Telephone Box, otherwise known as the TTTB.

They visited the pyramids at Giza, explored ancient temples, encountered a particularly grumpy ibex, and even had a rather memorable camel ride.

But their greatest discovery came after they found an ancient mosaic map at Petra.

The map led them to the legendary lost city of Bubastis.

And there, in a city hidden from the outside world, they met the goddess Bastet herself!

Apparently, the welcome was quite something.

Although knowing Smooch, I'm surprised he didn't ask whether she had any decent catnip or bacon sandwiches! MOL

Bastet even invited them to return for another visit, and Smooch gave her his snail-mail address.

Whether she's written to him since is another matter entirely.

I must remember to ask.

Anyhoo, this particular display celebrates that extraordinary expedition, and mew'll notice we've kept a few photographs and travel mementoes alongside the statue.

It's a lovely reminder that here at BBHQ, history isn't always something we read about in books.

Sometimes...

We actually go there!

Now, before we move along, one very impawtant rule.

Please don't attempt to polish the statue, offer it treats, or ask it to grant mew three wishes.

And if mew think mew just saw its eyes move...

Well.

Let's not jump to conclusions, shall we?

Just then, a soft chime echoed through the overhead communications system.

DING-DONG!

"COMMANDER BASIL," Vera's purrfectly composed voice announced from the ceiling speakers. "FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THE BASTET STATUE HAS CHANGED POSITION BY THREE MILLIMETRES SINCE THE LAST INVENTORY."

I stopped... looked at the statue, and then looked up at the nearest speaker.

"Vera, that information was not necessary for the tour!"

"MY APOLOGIES, COMMANDER. WOULD MEW LIKE ME TO OMIT THE SECOND ANOMALY?"

I blinked.

"The WHAT?"

"NOTHING, COMMANDER."

There was a faint electronic click as the overhead comms went silent.

I turned back to our four rather startled guests and smiled.

"Right then, floofers! Nothing to worry about. Purrfectly normal archival behaviour. Anyhoo, moving swiftly along, who's ready to see Excalibur?"

Yes.

THAT Excalibur.

Follow me, and for Cod's sake, don't look back at the statue!

⚔️ The Arthurian Collection ~ Knights, Legends and One Rather Purrculiar Sword!

Right then, if mew'd like to follow me around this corner, we're heading back to the days of knights, castles, dragons and rather questionable medieval hygiene.

Welcome to our King Arthur Collection!

Now, feast your eyes on these magnificent suits of armour, standing proudly along the walls like an entire army of knights waiting for their next quest.

We've got shields, helmets, chainmail, ancient battle standards, and enough medieval weaponry to make Humphrey's workshop look positively under-equipped.

And right there, in the centre of the display...

EXCALIBUR!

Inside the medieval wing of the Odd Storage Room, Commander Basil and his expedition team stand before one of the bunker’s most dramatic displays — the Arthurian Collection. The chamber glows with warm, golden light that reflects off towering suits of armour, heraldic banners and rows of ancient chests and shields. At the centre of the exhibit rests a massive stone plinth with a gleaming sword embedded deep within it, labelled Excalibur – The Sword in the Stone. Above it hangs a regal red banner emblazoned with a golden lion and the name King Arthur, giving the entire scene a legendary, almost mythic atmosphere. Basil, dressed in his dark tactical gear, stands proudly at the front of the group, while the four colourful expedition cats gather behind him in their purple, red, green and blue outfits, each one gazing at the sword with awe and curiosity. Signs mark the surrounding sectors — Medieval History & Arthurian Legends — and shelves overflow with royal regalia, historical artefacts and relics tied to centuries of lore. The whole space feels like a grand medieval archive hidden beneath BBHQ, capturing the moment the team encounters Excalibur itself, preserved as the crown jewel of the Arthurian Collection.

Yes, floofers, it is THE legendary sword in the stone.

Still embedded in its ancient resting place, just as mew'd expect.

Well... Mostly.

Mew see, a little while ago, Fudge wandered in here looking for something completely unrelated.

Don't ask me what... though I suspect snacks were involved or one of his magical menagerie creatures was in here.

Anyhoo, he spotted the sword, gave the handle a little tug, and...

SCHWIIIING!

Out it came... just like that.

Apparently, Fudge stood there staring at it for several seconds before announcing, "Oh fluff me! I've broken it!"

So what did he do... did he inform me?

Did he call Humphrey?

Did he contact Pandora?

Of course not!

HE STUCK IT BACK IN THE FLUFFING STONE AND WALKED AWAY!

MOL!!!

And that's where it's been ever since.

Now, whether that means Fudge is the rightful King of England, or whether the sword simply needs a better locking mechanism, is something we're still debating.

Personally, I'm hoping it's the latter.

The last thing BBHQ needs is Fudge discovering he's entitled to a throne.

Can mew imagine?

Royal catnip dispensers, compulsory afternoon naps, and a national holiday every time he wants a pawty!

Anyhoo, let's not give him any ideas.

And please don't try pulling the sword out yourselves.

We've already got one potential monarch in the bunker.

That's quite enough, thank mew furry much! MOL

🗝️ Time to Leave ~ Before Anything Else Happens!

Right then, I think that's quite enough ancient history, legendary weapons and potential royal succession crises for one day!

And before mew ask, no, we haven't seen everything. Not even close.

There are entire aisles of artefacts in here that we haven't explored yet, including several collections that Pandora has categorically forbidden me from discussing in public.

Which is probably for the best, as mew know what curiosity did to the cat!

Anyhoo, if mew'd like to follow me back towards the entrance, and remember to keep hold of that ball of string, we'll head back to Level One exit before anything else decides to move, glow, rattle or declare itself King of England! MOL

As we made our way past the towering shelves, I noticed Mackrull having one last look at the photographs he'd taken.

"Everything all right, dude?" I asked.

He nodded, then frowned, and then looked back towards the Ancient Egypt collection.

"Er, Basil... I'm sure that statue was looking the other way when we arrived."

I stopped.

"Was it now?"

He showed me the picture.

I looked at the screen.

Then towards the distant Bastet display.

Then back at the screen.

"Hmmm."

A soft chime echoed through the overhead communications system.

DING-DONG!

"COMMANDER BASIL," Vera announced. "WOULD MEW LIKE AN UPDATE ON THE SECOND ANOMALY?"

"NO, VERA!"

"VERY WELL, COMMANDER."

CLICK.

I turned to our guests with my most reassuring smile.

"Right then, floofers! Lovely tour, wasn't it? Let's keep moving! How about a spot of lunch?"

A few minutes later, we reached the reinforced steel door. Four guests. One commander.

All paws, whiskers and tails accounted for.

Excellent!

I placed my paw on the biometric scanner.

BEEP!

"PAW-METRIC ACCEPTED."

CLICK.

CLUNK.

CLANG!

And just like that, we were safely back in the familiar grey corridor of Level One.

I waited until everyone was clear before closing the door.

STORAGE ROOM 01

CLUNK!

There.

All secure.

Probably.

🐾 Another Epic BBHQ Tour Completed!

Well, my epically epic floofers, mew've survived another adventure beneath BBHQ!

Mew've seen treasures from ancient Egypt, admired a 6,000-year-old celestial fresco, discovered that Smooch really did meet a goddess, and learned why Fudge should never, ever be left unsnoopervised around legendary swords.

I'd call that a rather successful morning!

And a huge thank mew to our four Very Impawtant Cats, Celestial Katie, Mackrull, Precious and Simon, for joining us.

Mew were absolutely furbulous!

Now, I suggest we all head to the snack lounge for some well-earned refreshments.

Preferably before Vera announces anything else.

And don't forget to go and join in today's fun Blog Hops at www.comedy-plus.com and at Mosaic Monday

Next time...

Well, I could tell mew where we're going.

But where's the fun in that?

Let's just say BBHQ has plenty more secrets waiting to be discovered, and some of them are hiding in the most unexpected places.

Until then, stay alert, stay fluffy, and remember...

If mew find a legendary sword stuck in a stone, LEAVE IT THERE!!! MOL