**BRAND NEW** 🐾 Basil’s Bunker Tour ~ Epsiode 3🐾 ~ Level One Spotlight ~ **NEXT STOP** PANDORA'S BROOM CUPBOARD ~ WHERE THE REAL MAGIC HAPPENS

Welcome Back to BBHQ, mew marvellous floofers

Oh, excellent timing, how did mew know??? MOL

I’ve just finished telling Melvyn that no, he cannot put The Oddity in my office for the foreseeable future!

And if mew’re wondering why the lights flickered just now…

That was definitely unrelated. Probably!

Anyhoo, welcome back to the bunker, now seventeen levels of brilliance*, bedlam, and baffling decisions made by cats who should absolutely know better by now.

(*Yes, we got a surprise upgrade in June!)

Previously, on Level One, I showed mew my office, the tapestry, and a few artefacts I definitely didn’t “liberate” from other dimensions. Today, we’re heading deeper into BBHQ, and trust me, things only get more… interactive from here.

Then I took mew to the Control Room, BBHQ's command centre, the holo-table, Snowie's laser-focused comms stare, Vera's judgemental humming and Humphrey’s enthusiastic wiring extravaganza in the Boardroom. Mew survived the blinking lights, the secret door, and the exact spot where a data crystal once tried to blind us all with a beam of pure white light.

But today, floofers… Today we’re going somewhere far more ethereal.

Somewhere wholly unpredictable, and that once made the lights flicker for three days straight.

Yes.

We’re going to Pandora’s Magical Apothecary.

A place disguised as a humble broom cupboard, mop, bucket, suspicious smell, the works.

Except it’s not a broom cupboard. Not even close.

Before we begin, please sign the waiver and read the pamphlet.

⚠️ Tour Safety Guidelines

✨ Don’t touch the crystals ✨ In fact, don’t touch anything.✨

✨ Definitely don't wave any wands ✨ Don’t sniff the potions ✨

✨ Don’t open the DO‑NOT‑OPEN jars ✨ Don’t step inside the pentagram ✨

✨ Don’t lick anything ✨ Don't drink anything ✨

✨ Don’t ask the mop about its committee✨

✨ And for cod sakes do not read from the Book of Shadows ✨

✨ And if Pandora says “Oops”… run ✨

Follow me and stay close.

Let’s begin the tour.

🚪 The Door That Pretends to Be Normal

Here we are, the unassuming door next to my office.

Mop. Bucket.

“Cleaning in Progress” sign.

A faint smell of disinfectant and mild judgement.

But look closer.

See that shimmer around the frame? That’s Pandora’s warding spell, the same one Fudge poked once, yelped, and declared:

“OW! What the fluff? That’s rather zappy!”

He’s not wrong.

If mew touch it, mew get a tickle.

Pandora?

She just flicks her paw and the ward goes pop.

Like this.

pop

Right then. Inside we go.

✨ The Reveal ~ Bigger on the Inside

Now… behold.

A swirling, shimmering pocket‑dimension of magical wonder.

Let me just say, it’s unlike anywhere else at BBHQ. It’s almost otherworldly. Think:

Vast Magical Empawrium

Ancient and sophisticated

Carved Ebony built-in everything

Crystals that make mew go, how big?

And a sprinkle of “don't step in the circle unless mew want to teleport somewhere totally random for an undetermined amount of time!”

This space oozes energy. Step carefully, as the room likes to rearrange itself when no one’s looking.

The room also expands and contracts, so some days it's much, much bigger and others, it can seem relatively normal, yes, I know that's actually quite hard to believe - normal and The Basilverse don't really go together, now, do they?!! MOL

Ebony bookcases stretch floor to ceiling, crammed with tomes so old they probably predate whiskers. A carved ebony counter holds bottles of herbs, potions, powders, and things that hum ominously.

Crystals fill cabinets in neat, glowing rows. The air smells faintly of stardust, parchment, cinnamon, star anise, catnip, of course, and “don’t ask what that is.”

🔮 The Crystal Henge

Now, mew might think this centre space is empty.

It isn’t.

Pandora waves her paw, mutters something indecipherable, and...

WHOOSH

A radiant purple glow fills the room.

The amethyst crystals erupt from the floor in a purrfect circle, contained within a silver ring.

A pentagram lies beneath, aligned precisely to the Magisterium of Magic.

For a moment, the entire Apothecary seems to hold its breath.

Then the crystals begin to hum.

A low vibration thrums through the floor beneath our paws, and the air crackles with static, making every whisker stand to attention. Tiny sparks of violet light dance between the crystal points while shadows flicker across the ebony cabinets in entirely the wrong direction.

Pandora gives the nearest crystal an approving nod.

Miss Warts gasped when she first saw it:

“Pandora, this is utterly magnificent…”

And she wasn’t exaggerating.

This is where Pandora brews her most powerful spells, and where she summoned the warding mixture that blasted zombie cats off the stairwell door like furry fireworks in Claws of Terror.

This is where magic happens.

Do not step inside the circle. Unless mew want to be teleported, transformed, or given homework.

🧪 Potions, Charms & DO‑NOT‑OPEN Jars

Around the room mew’ll find:

Bottles that glow

Bottles that vibrate

Bottles that hum the theme tune from Dr Mew

Bottles labelled DO NOT OPEN (SERIOUSLY)

Bottles labelled ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR FUDGE

Pandora knows exactly what everything does. The rest of The B Team does not. This is why we are not allowed in here unsnoopervised.

Melvyn comes for magical lessons with Pandora. Like her, he is an Ethereal Magi. They are the last two in our universe, so very rare indeed.

If mew would like to read Melvyn's origin story, click here or click The Purrminator banner in the left side bar.

🌀 Closing the Door

Right, floofers, mew’ve survived Pandora’s pocket dimension.

Mew didn’t get zapped. Mew didn’t get teleported.

Mew didn’t open anything labelled DO NOT OPEN.

Gold star and a certificate ~ well done mew!!! MOL

And don't forget to go and join in today's fun Blog Hops at www.comedy-plus.com and at Mosaic Monday

Next time, we’re staying on Level One and heading to a place that looks harmless…

…but absolutely isn’t.

Bring snacks. Bring courage. Bring an anorak and perhaps a torch.

And remember:

Stay alert. Stay fluffy. And if mew hear bubbling noises coming from the broom cupboard…

No, mew didn’t! MOL

Link to Episode Four ~ Coming soon...

In the meantime, don't forget to...

...and utterly furbulous...

Wing Commander Basil 

Follow us at @BionicBasil® on Instacat

Don't furget to subscribe and never miss another bunker tour! 

Copyright Notice

© [2026] BionicBasil®. All Rights Reserved. No part of this post, characters, or lore may be reproduced, scraped, or rewritten in any form (including AI) without express written permission

 graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com 

**BRAND NEW** 🐾 Basil’s Bunker Tour 🐾 ~ Level One Spotlight ~ **NEXT STOP** THE CONTROL ROOM ~ WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS

Welcome Back to BBHQ, mew marvellous fluffers

Oh, excellent timing, how did mew know??? MOL

I’ve just finished telling Fudge that no, he cannot store “mysterious glowing eggs” in the fridge, and yes, I am serious this time.

And if mew’re wondering why the lights flickered just now…

That was definitely unrelated. Most likely!

Anyhoo, welcome back to the bunker, sixteen levels of brilliance, bedlam, and baffling decisions made by cats who should absolutely know better by now.

Last time, on Level One, I showed mew my office, the tapestry, and a few artefacts I definitely didn’t “liberate” from other dimensions. Today, we’re heading deeper into BBHQ, and trust me, things only get more… interactive from here.

Because this, supurr fluffy felines, is where the real magic happens.

The heart of the bunker.

The nerve centre.

The place where missions are planned, disasters are monitored and dealt with, and where Smooch is banned from touching anything labelled “DO NOT TOUCH”.

Yes.

We’re going to The Control Room.

Before we begin, a few ground rules:

✨ Don’t press any buttons

✨ Don’t unplug anything

✨ Don’t lick the holographic displays (looking at mew, Fudge)

✨ And if Vera starts talking to mew directly… just nod politely and back away slowly.

Right then, follow me, and stay close.

And whatever mew do, if an alarm starts blaring, pretend mew didn’t hear it, and definitely do not use the elevator and go to any of the lower levels.

Let’s begin the tour.

🖥️ The Vibe

Unlike my office, all oak, gravitas, and dignified silence, the Control Room is pure high‑tech chaos. Think:

NASA

MI6

A gaming PC on steroids

And a sprinkle of “why is that on fire?”

The room hums with energy. Screens flicker with maps, schematics, mission logs, and occasionally a reminder from Vera that somepawdy hasn’t completed their mandatory cybersecurity training (usually it’s Fudge or Smooch).

The central holo‑table projects a glowing 3D map of the world, the bunker, or, on one memorable occasion, a giant rotating blue whale because Melvyn sat on the wrong panel.

🎧 Snowie on Comms

Now, if mew look over there, yes, the pristine white fluff with the red collar, that’s Snowie, our Comms Queen.

**She's a Cloud Oppurrative like Posie and Humphrey; they can return to BBHQ anytime from the Rainbow Bridge, and use their E.M.D.'s, aka Earth Me Devices, to become fully corporeal - it's like they never left! MOL**

She runs:

Incoming transmissions

Outgoing mission updates

Emergency alerts

Answers the phone (Yes, we still have landlines at BBHQ)

And is known to say on occasion, “B Team, stop messing about and answer your comms!"

Snowie is calm, precise, and unflappable.

She once handled three simultaneous crises, a rogue portal, sentient glitter and a Fudge‑related meltdown without spilling her tea.

If mew hear her say, “Basil, we have a situation.”

Brace yourselves.

🤖 Vera Version 5.0 ~ The AI With Attitude

Ah yes. Vera. The bunker’s epic AI.

Sassy. All‑seeing. Occasionally helpful.

And on very rare occasions, as documented in Claws of Terror, BK 6, she has transformed into a giant white dragon made of fire and diamonds. If mew want to see her full transformation, here's the link to the exact chapter where it happened.

Yes, really.

No, I don’t know how, exactly. I just gave her purrmission by invoking a certain protocol.

Yes, it was majestic.

No, we don’t talk about the scorch marks.

In her usual form, she is just an omniscient voice, or she appears as a holographic interface above the main console, offering advice, warnings, and the occasional insult. She monitors every system in the bunker, from the ambient lighting and heating to snack inventory.

If she says “Don’t touch that!”

Don’t touch that.

She has been known to 'walk' around BBHQ in her holographic form, and believe me when I tell mew, she can scare the fluffing fluff out of mew, as mew can't hear her paw-steps and she just appears - yep, it keeps mew on your paws for sure! MOL

🛠️ The Workstations

Around the circular room, each B Team member has their own station:

Parsley: Stealth ops and surveillance

Smooch: Science, diagnostics, and “accidental” explosions

Amber: Data archives and mission logs

Fudge: Snack logistics (we don’t let him near the tactical systems)

Pandora: Magical interference and anomalies

Melvyn: Tech support, holo‑mapping, and chair‑spinning

Humphrey: Tech master and drones

Posie: Runner, she bips between workstations

Every console is customised, colour‑coded in the same blue, and slightly sticky from cat treats and catnip tea.

⚠️ The Big Red Button

No, mew can’t press it.

No, I won’t tell mew what it does.

Yes, Smooch tried once.

No, we’re not discussing the fallout.

📡 The Mission Feed

This is where we track

Unknown threats

Magical anomalies

Interdimensional breaches

Rogue artefacts

Necromancers with bad vibes

Weather patterns

And Fudge’s Fleabay deliveries (for safety reasons)

If something weird happens anywhere in the world, or in the bunker, the Control Room knows first.

Usually.

Unless the system is “temporarily compromised” by a certain ninja cat trying to stream movies during a mission, mentioning no names, Smooch.

🚪 The Secret Door (That Definitely Isn’t on the Blueprint)

Now, before mew get too comfy admiring the holo‑table, let me show mew something special.

See that panel on the far wall? The one that looks like an ordinary access hatch?

It’s not.

That, my paweseome furiends, is the secret door leading to our Boardroom, a room so classified that even Vera pretends it doesn’t exist. (Which is rich, considering she monitors every nanometre of this bunker.)

The door only opens for authorised paws, and yes, it does scan whisker patterns. Don’t ask. We built it during an upgraded “security phase”.

Anyhoo, step through and let me show mew…

🛸 The Boardroom ~ Control Room’s Sleek Twin

Welcome to the Boardroom:

Same glowing blue aesthetic.

Same high‑tech vibe.

Same “don’t touch anything unless mew want to trigger a dimensional rift” energy.

But instead of workstations, we have one enormous, polished table, big enough for mission briefings, tactical planning, and the occasional emergency snack summit.

And if this room feels familiar, that’s because mew may remember it from Claws of Terror, BK 6, when Humphrey turned it into a full‑scale tech lab.

Picture this:

Humphrey had taken over the entire table; wires everywhere, iPaw tablets stacked like pancakes, a laptop humming ominously, and enough equipment to make a telephone cabinet weep.

He called out,

“Basil, I’m going to see if I can read the data crystal!”

And what did I do?

I told Amber and Snowie to stay in the Control Room and watch the monitors, because somepawdy had to keep an eye on the chaos while the rest of us headed in here.

Humphrey slid the crystal cube into the slot and - WHOOSH - a beam of bright white light shot straight up to the ceiling.

Parsley and Smooch leaned in like they were watching the season finale of Real Housecats of Mewton-Clawson.

Melvyn perched on Smoke’s shoulder, eyes wide, while Bomber edged closer, ready to bolt if the cube exploded.

Humphrey, cool as ever, just murmured,

“Fantastic!”

and started tapping away on the biggest iPaw tablet he owned.

That’s the Boardroom for mew:

A place where brilliance, danger, and utter madness coexist in purrfect harmony.

And there mew have it, the Control Room and its secret sibling, the Boardroom. Mew’ve survived the blinking lights, the holo‑table, Snowie’s laser‑focused comms stare, Vera’s judgemental humming, and Humphrey’s enthusiastic wiring extravaganza.

Not bad for a Monday.

Mew’ve now seen where missions are launched, disasters are monitored, and where Smooch is absolutely forbidden to press anything without my express snoopervision. Mew’ve witnessed the secret door, the boardroom brilliance, and the exact spot where a data crystal once tried to blind us all with a beam of pure white light. Good times (not!).

But trust me…

We’re only just getting started.

Next time, we’re staying on Level One and going to a place most visitors walk past without a second glance. A place disguised as a humble broom cupboard, mop, bucket, suspicious smell, the works.(And don't mention the mop or bucket, they have opinions, and have formed a committee!)

Except it’s not a broom cupboard. Not even close.

It’s Pandora’s Magical Apothecary.

A swirling, shimmering pocket‑dimension of potions, charms, enchanted ingredients, and at least eight jars labelled “DO NOT OPEN (SERIOUSLY)”. It’s where Pandora brews her magick, stores her artefacts, and occasionally mutters things that make the lights flicker. Oh, and let's not forget the crystal henge.

So rest up, hydrate, and maybe bring protective eyewear and an anorak incase mew end up getting teleported through the henge.

Because next time, we’re stepping into a room that’s bigger on the inside, smells faintly of stardust, parchment and cinnamon, and has a habit of rearranging itself when no one’s looking.

Until then…

Stay alert. Stay fluffy. And if mew hear bubbling noises coming from the broom cupboard…

No, mew didn’t! MOL

And in the meantime, don't forget to...

Wing Commander Basil 

.

Follow us at @BionicBasil® on Instacat

Don't furget to subscribe and never miss another bunker tour! 

Copyright Notice

© [2026] BionicBasil®. All Rights Reserved. No part of this post, characters, or lore may be reproduced, scraped, or rewritten in any form (including AI) without express written permission

 graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com  

Bunker images used under licence from www.shutterstock.com

**BRAND NEW** 🐾 Basil’s Bunker Tour 🐾 ~ Level One Spotlight ~ **FIRST STOP** My Office

Welcome to BBHQ, mew lucky fluffers

Oh, hello. I didn’t hear mew over the sound of Smooch yelling;

 "DUCK AND RUN!"  

Oh, fluff me, what has he done now? 

Anyhoo, swiftly moving on because I'm sure that mess will sort itself out!   

Welcome to BBHQ, the bunker. Sixteen levels of secrets, strategy, snacks, and occasional explosions.

Since this is the first instalment of my official Bunker Tour series, I thought we’d start where all great operations begin: Level One. My domain. My command centre. The Oak Office of Ultimate Authority.

Over the last few years, we've had a lot of adventures, which many of mew have read, and by now we think mew should have a pretty good idea about the bunker; however, I thought it might be nice if I gave mew a tour when we're not mid-mission or under attack! MOL

Every new post, I’ll be taking mew around the bunker, one level at a time, so mew can appreciate the sheer scale of what I deal with on a daily basis. Trust me, it’s a lot. Have mew ever tried organising a team of cats? Exactly.

Anyway, follow me. Don’t lag behind. And whatever mew do, don’t touch the tapestry unless mew want a mystical existential crisis before dinner.

Today’s tour:

✨ The Oak Office

✨ The tapestry that binds us all

✨ The artefacts I definitely didn’t ‘borrow’

✨ And the mail chute that has seen things no chute should ever see

Right then. Let’s begin.

Welcome to My Office, Mew Guys  

Now, follow me. Mind the rug; it sometimes wrinkles, posing a trip hazard.

🐾 The Vibe

As mew can see, I’ve gone for a classic aesthetic: dark oak panelling, floor‑to‑ceiling bookcases, and enough gravitas to make visiting dignitaries sit up straighter, well, that's if I allowed such purrsons to visit. I like a room that exudes authority and is a complete contrast to the rest of the bunker, with its high-tech vibe.

The Furrsian rug? Plush. Luxurious. A tactical choice. It absorbs sound beautifully, which is essential when mew run a top‑secret bunker full of cats who think whispering means “yell quietly.”

🪑 The Desk Setup

This is my purrsonal space, a retreat if mew like, the oak desk is hand‑carved. Heavy enough to withstand mild explosions and really practical too. On top, mew’ll notice:

Two vintage telephones - dudes, I'm old school, what can I say! MOL

My computer pops up out of a secret compartment in the top, that's why mew can't see it right now, (and for Cod's sake, don’t tell anypawdy I can’t use spreadsheets)

A few mission files

And the mail chute, an analogue lifeline in the bunker

The visitor chairs (just out of shot, in the image above) are there for formal meetings, interrogations, nah, just kidding, but perhaps for occasional interventions when somepawdy (usually Fudge, Smooch and/or Parsley) has done something, accidentally on purpose, without meaning to at all, like ever... and it just happened that way!

🖼️ The Art & Artefacts

Now, if mew look around the shelves, mew’ll see my collection of antiquities. I’ve picked these up over the years on missions, adventures, and one very confusing treasure hunt that turned out to be in another dimension, but let's not get off track! MOL

An oil painting of The Crimson Revenge above the door, maps of forgotten realms, relics that hum if mew get too close, it’s all part of the aesthetic. I like a room with history. Preferably, my history.

🌳 The Tapestry of the Tree of Life

Ah yes. This meauty. On the wall behind my desk.

Mew see this tapestry? Impressive, isn’t it? 

That’s because it is. It was crafted by Druids, proper ancient ones, using threads infused with magickal waters from Bubastis. Yes, that Bubastis. The Temple of Bastet. The oldest, purest feline magick in existence.

The oddest thing, we each hold an object in the scene, but sometimes those objects decide to float around the picture, like right now! MOL

Humphrey: The Sword ~ Protection, loyalty, silent strength.

Posie: The Orb ~ Insight, intuition, clarity.

Amber: The Book ~ Knowledge, wisdom, archives, memory.

Smooch: The Heart ~ Healing, love, emotional core.

Pandora: The Wand ~ Magick, spells, transformation, chaos‑spark.

Snowie: The Box ~ Mystery, purity, containment of hidden power.

Parsley: The Gilded Wing ~ Speed, agility, ascension.

Fudge: The Pawsa (Paw Sigil, like a Hamsa) ~ Grounding, guardianship, physical strength.

Melvyn: The Compass ~ Direction, intuition, and the ability to always find his Uncle Basil.

Me, Basil: The Infinity Sign & The Scales ~ Destiny, balance, leadership, judgement.

I didn’t commission it because it looked nice (though it does). I had it made for my furmily, the B Team, the BBHQ crew, every soul who’s ever stood with us.

Each thread is bound with that sacred water, and those threads link every one of us together. Not just in this life, but in all lives. Past, present, future. No matter where we wander, no matter what happens, we’ll always find our way back to each other.

Some call it destiny.

Some call it magick.

I call it… making sure my furmily is never alone.

The tapestry grows as new members join us. It shifts, it changes, it remembers. It’s alive in the way old magick always is, quiet, powerful, and slightly unnerving if mew stare at it too long.

And yes, before mew ask, it does mean mew might occasionally feel like somepawdy’s watching over mew, and I'll turn around to see everypawdy waving at me, it's quite surreal! MOL That’s the threads. They’re doing their job.

📚 The Bookcases

These shelves contain everything from ancient magical tomes to mission logs to a surprisingly large section on biscuits. Some books are chained. Some whisper. One sneezes. I don’t talk about that one.

📨 The Mail Chute

This connects to the mailbox outside the main gates; small items only. Large parcels have to be fetched! MOL

It also connects all sixteen levels. It’s efficient and reliable, but it occasionally delivers things I didn't order. Pandora swears she’s not using it for potion experiments. I remain unconvinced.

And that, my esteemed guests, concludes our tour of my office, BBHQ’s most old-fashioned room and the only one where the rug matches my magnificence, only kidding! MOL

Mew’ve seen the oak panelling.
Mew’ve admired the tapestry.
Mew’ve resisted (I hope) the urge to spin my chair, it's lethal at high speed!

Consider yourselves officially initiated into the uppermost secrets of the bunker. I hope mew enjoyed it? If not, please don't leave a bad review on YOWLP. Yeah, I don't know if I could handle that! MOL

Next month, we’ll explore further, and trust me, things only get stranger, louder, and more interesting from here. Sixteen levels is a lot of bunker, and I intend to show mew as much as I can, and perhaps even the highly suspect broom cupboard where Gregory the Mop lives.

Link to Episode Two

In the meantime, stay alert, stay fluffy, and if mew hear mysterious noises coming from the mail chute… no mew didn’t.

Until then...

Wing Commander Basil 

.

Follow us at @BionicBasil® on Instacat

Don't furget to subscribe and never miss another bunker tour! 

Copyright Notice

© [2026] BionicBasil®. All Rights Reserved. No part of this post, characters, or lore may be reproduced, scraped, or rewritten in any form (including AI) without express written permission

 graphics created with paid licence www.canva.com