Welcome Back to BBHQ, mew marvellous floofers
Anyhoo, welcome back to the bunker, now seventeen levels of brilliance*, bedlam, and baffling decisions made by cats who should absolutely know better by now.
(*Yes, we got a surprise upgrade in June!)
Previously, on Level One, I showed mew my office, the tapestry, and a few artefacts I definitely didn’t “liberate” from other dimensions. Today, we’re heading deeper into BBHQ, and trust me, things only get more… interactive from here.
Then I took mew to the Control Room, BBHQ's command centre, the holo-table, Snowie's laser-focused comms stare, Vera's judgemental humming and Humphrey’s enthusiastic wiring extravaganza in the Boardroom. Mew survived the blinking lights, the secret door, and the exact spot where a data crystal once tried to blind us all with a beam of pure white light.
But today, floofers… Today we’re going somewhere far more ethereal.
Somewhere wholly unpredictable, and that once made the lights flicker for three days straight.
Yes.
We’re going to Pandora’s Magical Apothecary.
A place disguised as a humble broom cupboard, mop, bucket, suspicious smell, the works.
Except it’s not a broom cupboard. Not even close.
Before we begin, please sign the waiver and read the pamphlet.
⚠️ Tour Safety Guidelines
✨ Don’t touch the crystals ✨ In fact, don’t touch anything.✨
✨ Definitely don't wave any wands ✨ Don’t sniff the potions ✨
✨ Don’t open the DO‑NOT‑OPEN jars ✨ Don’t step inside the pentagram ✨
✨ Don’t lick anything ✨ Don't drink anything ✨
✨ Don’t ask the mop about its committee✨
✨ And for cod sakes do not read from the Book of Shadows ✨
✨ And if Pandora says “Oops”… run ✨
Let’s begin the tour.
🚪 The Door That Pretends to Be Normal
Here we are, the unassuming door next to my office.
“Cleaning in Progress” sign.
A faint smell of disinfectant and mild judgement.
But look closer.
See that shimmer around the frame? That’s Pandora’s warding spell, the same one Fudge poked once, yelped, and declared:
“OW! What the fluff? That’s rather zappy!”
He’s not wrong.
If mew touch it, mew get a tickle.
Pandora?
She just flicks her paw and the ward goes pop.
Like this.
pop
Right then. Inside we go.
✨ The Reveal ~ Bigger on the Inside
Now… behold.
A swirling, shimmering pocket‑dimension of magical wonder.
Let me just say, it’s unlike anywhere else at BBHQ. It’s almost otherworldly. Think:
Vast Magical Empawrium
Ancient and sophisticated
Carved Ebony built-in everything
Crystals that make mew go, how big?
And a sprinkle of “don't step in the circle unless mew want to teleport somewhere totally random for an undetermined amount of time!”
This space oozes energy. Step carefully, as the room likes to rearrange itself when no one’s looking.
The room also expands and contracts, so some days it's much, much bigger and others, it can seem relatively normal, yes, I know that's actually quite hard to believe - normal and The Basilverse don't really go together, now, do they?!! MOL
Ebony bookcases stretch floor to ceiling, crammed with tomes so old they probably predate whiskers. A carved ebony counter holds bottles of herbs, potions, powders, and things that hum ominously.
Crystals fill cabinets in neat, glowing rows. The air smells faintly of stardust, parchment, cinnamon, star anise, catnip, of course, and “don’t ask what that is.”
🔮 The Crystal Henge
Now, mew might think this centre space is empty.
It isn’t.
Pandora waves her paw, mutters something indecipherable, and...
WHOOSH
A radiant purple glow fills the room.
The amethyst crystals erupt from the floor in a purrfect circle, contained within a silver ring.
A pentagram lies beneath, aligned precisely to the Magisterium of Magic.
For a moment, the entire Apothecary seems to hold its breath.
Then the crystals begin to hum.
A low vibration thrums through the floor beneath our paws, and the air crackles with static, making every whisker stand to attention. Tiny sparks of violet light dance between the crystal points while shadows flicker across the ebony cabinets in entirely the wrong direction.
Pandora gives the nearest crystal an approving nod.
Miss Warts gasped when she first saw it:
“Pandora, this is utterly magnificent…”
And she wasn’t exaggerating.
This is where Pandora brews her most powerful spells, and where she summoned the warding mixture that blasted zombie cats off the stairwell door like furry fireworks in Claws of Terror.
This is where magic happens.
Do not step inside the circle. Unless mew want to be teleported, transformed, or given homework.
🧪 Potions, Charms & DO‑NOT‑OPEN Jars
Bottles that glow
Bottles that vibrateBottles that hum the theme tune from Dr Mew
Bottles labelled DO NOT OPEN (SERIOUSLY)
Bottles labelled ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR FUDGE
Pandora knows exactly what everything does. The rest of The B Team does not. This is why we are not allowed in here unsnoopervised.
Melvyn comes for magical lessons with Pandora. Like her, he is an Ethereal Magi. They are the last two in our universe, so very rare indeed.
If mew would like to read Melvyn's origin story, click here or click The Purrminator banner in the left side bar.
🌀 Closing the Door
Right, floofers, mew’ve survived Pandora’s pocket dimension.
Mew didn’t get zapped. Mew didn’t get teleported.
Mew didn’t open anything labelled DO NOT OPEN.
Gold star and a certificate ~ well done mew!!! MOL
Next time, we’re staying on Level One and heading to a place that looks harmless…
…but absolutely isn’t.
Bring snacks. Bring courage. Bring an anorak and perhaps a torch.
And remember:
Stay alert. Stay fluffy. And if mew hear bubbling noises coming from the broom cupboard…
No, mew didn’t! MOL
Link to Episode Four ~ Coming soon...
In the meantime, don't forget to...
...and utterly furbulous...
Wing Commander Basil
