Monday 9 October 2023

CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma **HELP! MY CATNIP STASH IS BEING PILFERED**

   Welcome to 

Dr Basil ©BionicBasil®

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry
BSc (Hons) Headology  
Psy.D. Furry Logic
 MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I 
only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 


Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

Cats Have Purroblems Too with Dr Basil @BionicBasil® Find A Comfy Spot on The Couch

This is one of my cases via email:  

Help! My Catnip Stash is Being Pilfered!

Dear Dr Basil

I hope this letter finds mew well. I'm writing to mew today because I have a serious problem that I need your help with. Mew see, I'm a cat with a serious catnip addiction. I've spent months cultivating the perfect catnip garden in my backyard, but I've run into a bit of a snag. Other neighbourhood cats keep sneaking into my garden and stealing my stash!

I've tried everything to keep them out. I've put up fences, set up booby traps, and even hired a neighbourhood watch to patrol the area. But nothing seems to work. These cats are like catnip ninjas, and they always seem to find a way to get in and steal my precious stash.

I'm at my wit's end, Dr Basil. What should I do? Should I just give up on my catnip dreams and find a new hobby? Or is there something I can do to keep these thieving felines at bay?

Sincerely,

Catnip Crazy Calvin

This is my Expert Reply
Today I use the colour green, as this is renowned for its calming effects, and I feel this week's purroblem needs a huge dose of calm, especially considering circumstances and ensuing stress! Therefore being the purrfect choice for this particular purroblem.
Dear Catnip Crazy Calvin
Let me jsut say that I feel your pain. There's nothing worse than having your precious catnip stash stolen by thieving neighbourhood cats, especially if mew've been cultivating epically primo strains. But fear not, my feline furiend, for I have a few solutions that might just work.
Firstly, have mew considered setting up a decoy catnip garden? Fill it with fake catnip that looks and smells like the real thing, but doesn't actually have any effect on cats. This way, the thieving cats will be lured away from your real stash, and mew can enjoy your catnip in peace. Plus they'll think what mew're growing is not up to fluff, and move off to catnip pastures new.
Another option is to set up a motion-activated sprinkler system. Cats hate getting wet, so this could be a great way to deter them from entering your garden. Just be sure to turn it off when mew want to enjoy your catnip yourself!
Mew could always try talking to the other cats in your neighbourhood. Maybe they're just jealous of your amazing catnip garden and don't realize how much they're upsetting mew. A little bit of feline diplomacy could go a long way.
If all of the above fails, my last resort solution is this: move your growing area underground, The B Team can assist mew with a moderately cheap bunker installation with an impenetrable A.I. security system, and mew can have specialised grow rooms for your different catnip varieties. 
Also, once mew are established, mew can set up a shop selling your epic greens to the local cats, and maybe offer a distribution network with discounts for high sellers, this is a great incentive for entrepreneurial felines. And this way mew get to be in control of the entire operation, make great profits and all those thieving felines suddenly become your employees, plus mew are essentially putting more wealth into the community which in turn will benefit everypawdy.
If mew want to enquire about a bunker, just contact Parsley for more details at: 00 07-BUNKERS-FOR-MEW 
I hope these suggestions help, Catnip Crazy Calvin. Remember, never give up on your catnip dreams!
Yours most sincerely
Dr. Basil
@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.
____________________________

Today's Moral Code is:

CATNIP DREAMS CAN COME TRUE! ~
 
_________________________________
If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr

Dr. Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA







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(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)

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12 comments:

  1. I always look forward to your wise and sweet advice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A locked greenhouse might work, too, just set up a good security system. I'll bet your team could construct a good one and it would be cheaper than digging a bunker, especially for those who live in a swamp like we do, where you can't dig without hitting lots of water.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I may need one of those bunkers . . .

    ReplyDelete
  4. Calvin has a big problem now the neighbours have discovered his stash. They can be very devious once they know where it is. Maybe Calvin can make some money out of it and bag some up and sell to them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is a serious problem which could quickly degenerate into something ugly. Lots of good advice there. We also like the idea in the comments of bagging up the nip and selling it!

    Purrs,
    The Chans

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dr. Basil, I have the exact same purroblem here with the outdoor kitties nipping my wacky weed. I will try the sprinkler system, as the fence Lynn has around it gets pushed and shoved and of all things, kitty sprayed! I've tried growling at the offender, but on no use when they are nipped out of their minds and oh yeah, the door is shut and they can not hear me. Precious

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dr. Basil, your wealth of feline wisdom is simply purrfect! Your catnip dreams can indeed come true, and your guidance is invaluable for us all!

    ReplyDelete
  8. All great plans on keeping your stash yours. Dr. Basil is most brilliant.

    Have a purrfect day and week. Scritches all around and a big hug to mom. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  9. Basil always had such good advice. You could make these into a book. XO

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  10. Great advice, Dr. Basil! I think its useful for many growers of catnip in many locations! I'm wondering if some catnip gardens in the US might attract bobcats, Lynx, or even cougars?! A quick visit to Google says they all respond to it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. More scritches to the kitties and another hug to mom. ♥

    ReplyDelete

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