Monday 16 October 2023

CATS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! with Dr Basil ~ Featuring Today's Despurrate Dilemma **HELP! I'VE GOT HUGE BATHROOM ISSUES!**

   Welcome to 

Dr Basil ©BionicBasil®

Happy Monday, furry floofers

Welcome to another episode of Cats Have Purroblems Too, where I give epically epic advice to cats with despurrate dilemmas too great for them to solve alone. 

And if mew're wondering why mew haven't heard of this before, well, dearest furiends this was a regular segment I ran many years ago, and sadly the original posts are now archived. 

But it's back now, so take a seat and read today's despurrate dilemma and my solution.

Also, mew may be pondering on what my professional credentials are, so purrlease purruse the list below:

Ph.D. in Kitty Psychology & Psychiatry
BSc (Hons) Headology  
Psy.D. Furry Logic
 MS. Fuzzy Logic
MA. Common Sense

My other Professional Credits include:

NOM Master
Snoozy Savant
Purr Master
AdvoCat of T.L. Treatment
Touchy Feely Therapy or T.F.T
Purrfume Aroma Treatment or P.A.T.

I can help mew to solve all your Pet Peeves, Purrsonal Problems and Despurrate Dilemmas, no matter how great or small they may be.

Plus, I 
only use the very latest techniques, some of which I have developed myself over my long and esteemed career, which include:

 Purr Therapy ~ For Uptight and Particularly Stressed Kitties 

Nom Zen ~The Art of Nomming in Total Tranquility 

ZZZ's Snooze Sensation ~ Including Mewsical CatNap Sessions tailored to your purrsonal requirements

YogiCat Meditation ~ Stretches and Breathing Techniques for the Severely Stressed & Overworked

Intense CatNip Therapy ~ This treatment speaks for itself (I find it very beneficial)

I am also an AdvoCat of Tough Love coupled with a healthy dose of common kitty sense

Purrfume Aroma Treatment ~ A Sensory Smelling Session S.S.S. to calm and soothe with highly aromatic blends of specially selected scents

To help mew release all your stresses and worries just drop by my clinic held here or, alternatively email me your purroblem, and I'll answer here. If mew require to remain anonymous or anon, purrlease include that in your email. 

Mew can contact me directly at the following address:

DearDrBasil (at) gmail (dot) com

So come and sit on my supurr comfy couch, reee-lax, breathe deeply and tell me of your troubles, as I'm ready, willing and able to help.

Cats Have Purroblems Too with Dr Basil @BionicBasil® Find A Comfy Spot on The Couch

This is one of my cases via email:  

Help! I've Got Huge Bathroom Issues!

Dear Dr Basil

I hope mew're having a pawsome day! I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty frustrated lately. My human parents won't let me in the bathroom when they're doing their business. I mean, seriously, it's just rude! They watch me use my litter box all the time, but I'm not allowed to watch them? Something doesn't smell right here.

I've tried everything to get in there. But nothing seems to work! I even offered to be their personal toilet paper holder, but no dice.

What's a cat gotta do to get some bathroom bonding time around here? Can mew help me out, as I've heard mew're the best Cat Agony Uncle on the interwebs?


Arthur McTavish aka A Feline Feeling Left Out

This is my Expert Reply
Today I use the colour blue, as this is renowned for its calming and destressing effects, and a most popular colour for bathrooms. Therefore being the purrfect choice for this particular purroblem.
Dear Arthur aka A Feline Feeling Left Out,
Oh my whiskers, I hear mew loud and clear! Humans can be so weird sometimes. But don't worry, I've got some purrfect solutions for mew.
First off, try playing a little game of "peek-a-boo" with them. Stick your paw under the door and playfully bat at their feet if they're in reach. And if they do open the door at this point, and mew're feeling extra brave, try jumping on their lap mid-business. It might startle them, but it's sure to get a laugh.
If that doesn't work, try using your feline charm. Give them your best pitiful look and meow until they let mew in. Or, if mew're feeling particularly dramatic, try pawing at the door and meowing loudly until they give in. If that doesn't work, let them have your best caterwauling yowl, they'll soon come running to open the door.
Finally, try bargaining. Offer to be their personal bathroom assistant, but never the toilet roll holder, mew just don't know what may get on your fur! Explain as best mew can that mew'll guard the door from the inside, make sure the toilet paper is well stocked, and even give them a paw to hold if they're feeling scared about being in there on their own. If mew play your cards right they'll never want to use the bathroom without mew again!
If none of the above works, my last-ditch suggestion is mew hang out in the bath in total stealth, obviously without any water, and wait until they come in to use the facilities, and then pop up when they least expect it. Repeat as necessary until your humans realise that there is no privacy when living with cats! MOL
And in the utter worst of worst-case scenarios, if all the above have failed miserably, I can send Parlsey and Fudge around to remove the bathroom door permanently and dispose of it for mew, no door, no purroblemo! 
I hope these tips help mew out, my feline furiend. Just remember, with a little persistence and a lot of catitude, mew can get anything mew want.
Pawsitively yours,
Dr. Basil
@ The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic T.M.

Today's Moral Code is:

If mew can relate to this purroblem or feel that mew are in need of any assistance, purrlease leave a comment to: Dear Dr Basil.... or email me directly and I'll get back to mew.

Thank mew all for joining me today at The Cats Have Purroblems Too Clinic, and I'll be back next Monday with another open clinic and a new case study.

Until then, Keep Calm and Purr

Dr. Basil

Ph.D. ~ BSc. (Hons) ~ Psy.D. ~ MS ~ MA

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(T.M. ~ Totally Meowvellous)

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  1. Hoomans are so silly, They get upset when seen with only their birthday suit on. We live in ours, mol.

  2. Humans are weird. Dr. Basil is so very wise. You made me laugh out loud.

    I linked this post to Awww Mondays.

    Have a fabulous day and week. Scritches to the kitties and a hug to mom. ♥

  3. Ahahaha, truly effective tactics, Dr. Basil!

  4. Such great advice. My Rusty always visits me in the bathroom. Every single time. :) XO

  5. That is terrific advice and yes, that is pretty rude.

  6. Yep, take the door off!
    Good solution, Doc.

  7. Take the door off!
    That's a good solution, Doc.

  8. That is a serious problem and one we could never imagine. We hope the solutions work!

    The Chans

  9. Hiding in the tub sounds best. One thing I noticed is my cats don't care about coming in there with me if I leave the door open, only if it's closed. It's not so much being in there as being denied access that bothers them.


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